Satoko continued listening to Shigaraki's and Dabi's bickering as she was resting her throat.
Most of the bickering was fast paced comments. They hurled insults back and forth without hesitation. At some point, it started to feel less like they were arguing over an errand and more like they just hated each other for no reason.
"At least I take showers."
"At least I don't scratch myself to the point of bleeding whenever the slightest inconvenience happens."
"Well Takahashi doesn't seem to think I'm ugly."
"I do."
"Of course you do. Hero society is biased towards quirk that make you look good. That's an important part of the ranking system. You see-"
"Stop it with your hero society crap. I just told you to go do it yourself, not to monologue me to death."
"You're the one who wanted her more badly than any of us. You should be the one to take care of her." Shigaraki laughed like he was a junior high kid gossiping about crushes.
"Take care of me? Tch. I'm not some kind of pet." Satoko scowled. "I can get my own drink since you guys are making it such a big deal." Her voice sounded a little raspy. Talking was just making it worse.
"We don't care what you are or aren't." Shigaraki had his arms out as he spoke. "We're villains. We take what we need, even if what we need is a person. If it gets us one step closer to defeating the final boss then it's worth it. We'll treat you how we want to treat you."
Dabi rolled his eyes. He walked to the door and pushed it open. "I'm gonna go get the tea. It's better than listening to this again."
Toga goes to leave too. Satoko wasn't sure why, but being left alone with him made her a little terrified. Especially since her throat was hurting.
But...
The way Shigaraki was talking was like as if he was in a video game. It's rather strange that she started laughing softly at what he said.
She really is crazy to find this amusing. "Final boss? I didn't think you had a sense of humor."
"Sense of humor?" He grumbled. "I'm just stating the obvious."
A small part of him felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. She was laughing at him, yes, but her laughing gave him a warm feeling in his chest.
Disgusting.
She was taken aback from his response. She almost gave off a teasing comment, but stopped herself. She thought to herself a moment.
What if this is what she was missing? Understanding the villains more? It could be a step too.
It almost hurt her chest to even laugh like that. When was the last time she even laughed?
(I really am crazy... I contradict myself with what I believe in.)
Oh well. One thing's for sure that heroes and villains have in common.
They're humans. Like her. What if this was what she was missing? A latch to her heart wiggled a bit.
"Well, I always wanted to play video games. They do look fun." She continued, trying to keep the topic light and easy.
"They are fun if you can keep from decaying the control. Which should be no problem for you." He looked down at the ground for a moment before she could see the corner of his eyes focus on her. "You should play one of mine sometime."
"You have games?!" She exclaimed. She found that surprising, but also not. He probably did steal it anyways. "Well, if decaying is an issue, I can help you play it. I would suck really badly though."
Her attitude changed towards him. He could tell. She seemed more casual and friendly. He didn't understand. Why would she act that way towards him of all people? Wasn't he disgusting? Untouchable? Cursed?
"Just beat Dabi and I'll be glad," he commented with a smile. He gently nudged Twice with his foot. "The others too, I guess."
"Oh, I will." She started coughing. It’s strange… he was actually smiling? This was weird coming from someone who wanted to kill her. She cursed a little bit from the hacking. Ugh. Vocal chords are annoying. "Ha...."
She got herself composed again. "You can't kill me then since I have to beat him."
"I can't kill you anyway," Shigaraki grumbled. "You're part of the league now. I have to at least see if I'll regret that decision or not."
Oddly enough, he didn't even want to kill her anymore. Would he miss talking about video games and seeing her smile? It's possible.
He didn't expect her to ever smile like that around him. He couldn't remember the last time anyone had. That sort of smile- like someone didn't mind him being there- was so rare. It was so human. He wasn't accustomed to it. He couldn't even see the fault in the fact that the other league members didn't care for him as a human. Had anyone really cared for him like that?
To them, he was a weapon. He was strong. He could be used. The emotional attachment was nonexistent. He had a goal that he wanted to accomplish because he thought that it would make for a better society. He didn't even know that the others had something else in mind.
He was surrounded by people with similar problems, but their circumstances were still so different. The worlds that they grew up in and chose to continue living in varied greatly. They might as well have been aliens to each other. No one else could fully understand Shigaraki. Shigaraki could never fully understand anyone else.
The way he viewed the world was in a different light than them. One would probably call him crazy because of this difference. So, of course, he could never fit in with society.
Satoko genuinely smiled around him though. Why? He couldn't wrap his head around it. The smile felt so authentic that it was almost painful to look at.
That's when he remembered. (Someone did care for me as a person. I killed them.)
Anything that he touched would always die. So when he cared for something...held it to any importance at all...he had to make sure that he never made physical contact with it.
(Part of the league...) She doesn't consider herself to be still. She's always hated villains and heroes. How villains kill people. How heroes abuse their power.
Usually, she'd scoff at that statement, but she couldn't find herself doing so.
"Can I ask you something?" She changed the topic suddenly. "Why are you doing this? What's your story?"
Her words weren't in an interrogating tone. They felt a bit more... heartfelt? Wanting to understand him better.
She wants to understand Dabi too, but he seems so secretive. Especially how she kinda poured out her past towards him that one day. (He's such a jerk.)
Merciless. Rough.
But she remembers his eyes that one time. How they looked a little hesitant to use his full power on her. The fact he even saved her from those scummy people. She feels a bit confused as she tries not to have her emotional guard down around them.
But her attention goes back to Shigaraki. Another mystery to her. She honestly wasn't expecting him to answer her questions. It felt a bit useless to her still. Such conflicting emotions she's been feeling lately.
"I'll tell you..."
Shigaraki explained his story to her. How his grandmother was a famous hero when she was alive and had abandoned her son for his own safety. When Shigaraki was young, he didn't want to believe that Nana was a bad person. He didn't know her, but he looked up to her.
He had terrible allergies all throughout his life. His father would get annoyed and lock him outside due to his constant scratching and crying. Being outside only caused it to worsen though.
His father would say that it was because he loved him. He had to teach him right from wrong. But really, he was just angry and couldn't process his own trauma. So he took out his anger on his son.
Shigaraki's sister, Hana, would often time be sneaky about getting him information about their grandmother. She was just a child who wanted to make her brother happy. She had no idea how much it would hurt him.
When his father found out, he was furious. He snapped at Shigaraki's mother and then went on to hit Shigaraki so that he promised not to do it again.
'This hurts me just as much as it hurts you. It's for your own good though.'
His eyes looked sad when he said that. If he was so sad over it, then why beat him in the first place? Why lock him outside and tell him to give up on his dreams? If he felt so remorseful...why did he never change?
Shigaraki cried all day after that. He was locked outside and not allowed to see his mother or sister, so what else could he do? Nothing. Just wail and beg to be let inside until his lungs hurt.
Of course, no one listened. No one ever did. Life could never be as simple as someone asking to be treated fairly and it actually happening. Using force was all he really knew.
Eventually, his dogs went over to give him the company that he so desperately needed. He held onto both of them so tightly, feeling a bit of comfort from the warmth and the way they kept licking his face to cheer him up.
His sobs eventually quieted and became sniffles. He held the two dogs closely until he felt fluid oozing through his fingers.
He was so horrified when he looked down and saw nothing but two pools of blood and two heads. He screamed a heart wrenching cry for help. He didn't understand. Why? Why was his only source of comfort reduced to a pool of blood?
Hana disobeyed their father's rules and ran outside. She reached a hand out to him, trying to help him with everything she had.
She was decayed. They all were.
One after another.
His entire family.
Not even a single corpse was left.
He went out into public and tried to find help. No one would help him. They all stayed clear due to the blood on his hands. Some said that heroes would come to help him. They never did.
The only one who arrived to help was a man without a face. He took him in and gave him shelter. Food. Made sure that he felt appreciated. The only condition was that he had to wear the hands of his dead family all the time so that he would be reminded of that freedom he felt when he killed them.
He even helped him train his power. He told him that he would be with him every step of the way. He gave him the idea of rewriting society so that no one would suffer like he did. Of course, be was all for that idea.
"Man... I... I'm speechless. I'm so sorry." Satoko felt very sad hearing his past. She can empathize with some of his pain, but his is much worse. Shigaraki can clearly see what her expression even shows. "I know what it's like to have parents that hurt you. I have been there..."
But to kill his family and others... No wonder he's so twisted and messed up. It definitely caused a psychological issue.
"The man without a face...What is his name?" She asked. Whoever he was, one thing's for certain. He's taking advantage of Shigaraki's mental state.
(Is it the same for me? Are these people also doing the same thing?) She felt distressed at the thought of it.
Shigaraki shrugged. "He called himself All for One after his quirk. I'm guessing it's similar to One for All."
Satoko remembered the conversion with All Might and that Melissa girl. She feels a little bad snapping at her the other time.
(I wonder...)
But she left that kind of thinking for later. She looked towards Shigaraki. She doesn't know what name to call him by.
Dabi called him 'Shigaraki' and Toga called him 'Tomura'.
(We all seem to have our own traumas... Hatred can often blind us. Manipulation too.) She thought. (I want to... do something to make all this cycle of violence and hatred end. I want a righteous justice.)
She knows she can't do it by herself. It is rather clear to her now. She is a little anxious still from everything, but keeps her tough face on.
"Shigaraki? Er.. or do you want me to call you Tomura?" She asked before she continued.
Shigaraki sighed. "I prefer to go by Shigaraki. Toga just doesn't listen to anything."
"Got it." She responded and continued her train of thought. Talking was putting a strain on her throat a bit more, but she ignored the feeling. "It seems we both have suffered not knowing what it's like to be loved by others. The only person I had was my grandpa."
She went into a little bit details on him and her own past. "...It's hard for me to want to be near others. To trusting others. I'll be bluntly honest, I don't trust any of you. But that's me... I just don't trust anyone. Yet, here, I am listening to your story and sharing mine."
She looked towards him. "You felt under appreciated. Maybe you're just scared like me. Scared to get close to anyone." She smiled sadly. "I'm honestly terrified that I'll be abandoned. I don't even know what I'm doing here. I'm such a hypocrite for saying this, but know this. I'm not the type to abandon people in need."
Shigaraki couldn't believe that. Satoko was an odd person. She had the mixture of a hero's heart but a villain's motives. He turned away from her.
"Tch. Sure." With that, he walked away.
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