TALKS OF ANXIETY 

    PLEASE READ AT OWN RISK

   Entering the library after my last class I see the librarian Mrs. Todd putting books on a cart that was used to return books to their correct shelf. Mrs. Tood was in her late 50s but she still had all the sass in the world. Her dark brown hair with very few streaks of gray peeking through here and there. She is about my height of 5'5 but she loves to wear her heels for that extra flair. Her words not mine. I walk over to where she is standing and let my presence be known before I greet her. Mrs. Todd turned, giving me her full attention for a few seconds to greet me back. "Hello dear, is your day finished already?" I nod my head and turn back to the other stack of books that she still had to scan before adding them to the cart. "I'm waiting for Jasmine since she still has another class for us to leave together." I settled into helping her, while she scanned the books that were still on her desk I started to put away the ones she scanned and stacked on the cart already. 

I was so engrossed in my task that I didn't realize that the last bell had rung. I had put my headphones on after the first cart of books.  Apparently I was so into my task that I didn't realize that Jasmine was already waiting for me by the checkout desk. Putting away the last of the books, I pushed the cart back to its spot next to the main desk. Mrs. Todd thanked me for my help as I got my bag from the chair that I had placed it on when I first entered the library. 

Jasmine released a heavy sigh as we made our way out of the side door that led to the student parking lot. "What's with the sigh?" She didn't answer for a few seconds. Thinking she probably wasn't ready to talk about whatever is bothering her, I continued to walk through the parking lot. "My mom is doing the whole blind date set up again." My head swiveled around to her so fast I felt a little dizzy from the action. "But isn't it still too early for that? I mean we turn eighteen in a few months. What's the rush? She shrugged her shoulders, "I don't know what my mom is thinking about half the time. Her and dad were talking about it for a few months apparently without my knowledge or my say on the situation." I didn't know how to respond so I didn't say anything. This wouldn't be the first time her mom has signed her up for something without her knowledge, I bet if I wasn't an omega she would've tried to set us up already. To be fair I guess I can see where Mrs. Wesley was coming from with this one. Jasmine has always said that she will not get mated and have babies like the world expects her to do. She wanted to break the mold of what the world saw us as. I also understood Jas' point of view on the situation but atleast her mom was active in her life, and as much as I love Brenda there will always be a void in my soul from the rejection of the woman who gave birth to me only to try and sell me years later.

It only took us about fifteen minutes or so to walk from school to my house via all the shortcuts we learned to take over the years. Jasmine was already back to her usual bubbly self, bouncing down the sidewalk once we were within a few meters from the house. I spot dad's car which isn't usual at this time of day. It's then that I remember what I told him that morning, but as we got closer I heard the yelling. Speeding up a bit with Jasmine hot on my heels. I freeze just outside the door, my heart skipping a beat and a lump forming in my throat as I hear the voice that is yelling back at  my dad. Jasmine goes to step closer to the door and I grab her arm and pull her back towards me, shaking my head to let her know not to go in. 

I can feel myself go a little shifty. My legs felt like jelly and I couldn't take a deep breath. I know what was happening, but it's been so long since I've had one that I scare myself a bit. My chest tightens from lack of oxygen, everything starts to spin. I try to fight off the anxiety attack but the same questions keep running through my mind all at once as the yelling gets louder. As loud as they were I couldn't hear what they were saying, it sounded like a jumbled mess of white noise overlapping each other. 

                                                                       ``Why is she here? ``

                                                         ``What is it that could of possible made 

                                                                        her come all the way here?``

                                                                          ``Why is dad so upset?``

One minute I'm trying to take a decent enough breath to starve off the attack then the next nothing. Everything goes black and it's finally nice and quiet. I hope this lasts a little while longer.