Chapter 1 

I nod my understanding of whatever the hell is being said to me; I know I should be listening but I can’t help it. I’m sure it’s super important, whatever it is that’s being said about the new refugees which we just took in, but none of it matters to me.

It doesn’t matter, because my bond is going berserk. It’s normally, you know, extremely painful, because I haven’t seen my mate since we mated around…three years ago? Four years ago? I’m not even sure how long it’s been.

But it’s been too long.

Far, far too long.

I got used to the steadily increasing pain the bond gave me as it tried to encourage us back together, but quite honestly I don’t even remember what my mate looks like. I do know his name though. But again, that’s only because I had the name dream, so I just…know it.

He never told me though.

And I never told him my name either.

It was an extremely heat of the moment thing; we literally bumped into each other in a forest, mated, and then I left. I probably should’ve stayed until he woke up, but I had to check on my pack; I shouldn’t have left them for that long and things were very precarious at that point.

So I left to check on them, and by the time I came back…he was gone. Percy was gone. And I thought that he must have been from a local pack, but there are no local packs. Other than a pack of rogues which quite honestly, I’m sure Percy isn’t a part of; my pack has dealt with them before and they all fit the rogue stereotype to a T.

But Percy?

I may remember basically nothing about him, but I know that he wasn’t a rogue, or if he was, he definitely wasn’t a part of that pack. He just had this…pampered posh vibe to him.

Anyway, back to the bond. Which is currently trying to force me in the direction of the refugees which were recently brought in. There’s been a lot of…pack wars? Anyway, a lot of packs have been annihilated as the usual challenges between alphas have gone way further and it turns into a full on brawl between two packs.

And these wars create a multitude of homeless wolves. So, we take them in. It’s something my mother always used to do, when she was the alpha. So, I’m doing the same now that I have her role.

Breezing past my beta, Keye, I head straight to the main hall where everyone currently is. Percy is here; I can feel it. And I’ll really have to feel it to find him; I don’t remember what he looks like, and although he was taller than me when we mated, I’ve grown since then so he could be shorter than me which would send me in the wrong direction.

So, I just let the bond do all the work to find him for me.

I let my wolf take over a little, let myself zone out whilst my soul is led towards my mate. I think about Keye, my trusty beta. She’s great at her job and honestly does more for the pack than I ever have. I’m not the best alpha, but I don’t really know what I’m doing either.

For some people, being a leader comes naturally. But it doesn’t for me. It’s not like I’m a follower particularly, but more like…I’m not that responsible. I don’t want to be the alpha, I want to just live my life. Plus I have some serious anger issues and I end up blowing up at the people around me all the time.

Hence why Keye is so trusty. She always manages to calm me down; another thing she’s very good at, plus she doesn’t get scared of me when I shout at her. Which I shouldn’t do. I know I shouldn’t, and she absolutely doesn’t deserve to be shouted at. But I can’t help it; it just…happens.

Another thing Keye is good at: sex. I do feel a bit bad for my mate; I mean I’ve been sleeping with my beta on and off for the past two years, which was after I’d already mated with Percy. Does that count as cheating? I mean it’s not like Percy and I have had anything to do with each other, like, ever, but still.

Would he think that’s cheating?

If it was him who was sleeping with someone, how would I feel? Well, I wouldn’t care. I don’t have any feelings for my mate; he’s just someone the universe decided would be good for me. I guess I’m technically good for him too, but I think that’s bullshit.

I’m not good for anyone. 

I just get angry and push people away. 

Suddenly, the bond surges and I flick my eyes open, staring at the person in front of me. Is this Percy? It has to be…but…he doesn’t look at all like I thought he would.

Like, I distinctly remember that when we mated, he was this gangly guy, all arms and legs and he complained a bunch and he acted all haughty, but this guy in front of me…

Well. To put it simply, this guy has absolutely zero whiny bottom energy. This guy looks like he could crush me with his hands if he wanted to. He’s pretty buff. He’s also still a lot taller than me, and he has long white hair in two braids either side of his neck, which is honestly one meaty neck. This guy is just so…solid.

Is this Percy? If so, his whole vibe has changed. Gone is any hint of a pampered rich kid, gone is the illusion of weakness. This guy is a fighter. This guy would fit in with that rogue pack.

“Uh- are you…Percy?” I ask slowly, still hoping that he says no. It’s not that this guy isn’t attractive; he is actually very attractive (or at least I personally think so), but he’s not at all my type. I like people who seem kind of weak but can actually hold their own.

Like Keye, and like whatever this guy used to be like. I don’t really like buff meatheads. 

He eyes me up and down before clicking his tongue at me. “Seriously? You haven’t changed one bit. Come with me.”

He grabs my arm and begins dragging me towards the door before I even have a chance to rebuke him - shit, he’s also stronger than me!!!!! 

He slams the door closed behind us, the sharp coldness of the outside air making me want to shiver a little, but I absolutely refuse to do so in this guy’s company. Before, he was the cold one and I was the cool alpha who kept him warm.

I was the cool and very obviously more dominant one. So how come I feel like I’m supposed to be the more submissive one now?! Because I’m absolutely not.

And then he presses his hand against my chest and rests his forehead against mine (he has to bend down a bit to be able to) and the bond calms itself down and I realise that oh fuck, this really is Percy. And now I’m wondering…what the fuck happened to him?