Jax's POV

"You look good in my shirt," Callum decided after a few minutes of silence. 

We had been stuck in the silence since he had asked if I had a boyfriend back home. I felt a small blush creep up my cheeks at his sentence but I highly doubt it was enough for him to see it. 

"Thanks," I said as I put hands under my head while staring up at the celling. "I'll give it back to you before I go to bed."

"Don't worry about it. It looks better on you anyway. Shows off all your muscles." I just roll my eyes and try my hardest to look annoyed when on the inside I'm trying to contain my blushes and smiles. 

I grumble another thanks, trying to let the conversation drop but Callum doesn't seem that excited to let my talking mood go away so quickly. 

"Want to watch a movie or something? Ryder has tons of movies and he barely even watches them." 

"Then why does he have them?"

"His sponsor family sends them to him since they don't know what else he would really like and he never asks for anything." I only hum in response making Callum groan slightly as he sits up. "I get that you are a super badass and have his brooding attitude and all but you know you don't have to have it here right?

"There's no one betting on you based on how coldly you act towards everyone, no one is going to yell at you for showing emotions. You can be done with all of that now."

I felt myself getting irritated at his words. He didn't understand. It will never be done. As soon as I get out of this place I'll be right back in the center of the fights like nothing even happened so there was no need to get out of practice. 

When I didn't answer again Callum only stood up and walked over to the small TV and opened a drawer on the stand to pick out a movie. 

 "It's okay," he said. "I'm going to break those walls down for you. Don't even worry about it." He winked at me before turning around putting a random movie into the disk reader and going to sit on Ryder's bed that was beside mine. 

"You can see the TV better from here." He statement was true considering his bed was on the same wall as the TV but something in his voice told me that wasn't the only reason he sat over here.

I didn't really end up watching the movie. I just stayed in the same position I had been laying in for the past hour and just half listened to the movie play in the background. 

It reminded me of the time before I started fighting. 

 When I got home from school I always lay on my bed listening to music on my phone until my dad came home and started screaming at my mom, then I would shove in my ear buds and ignore the world entirely. 

My eyes grew heavy by the second yet I tried to stay awake. Callum was talking about how this part of the movie didn't make sense but I was too far gone to actually understand why; that and I hadn't watched the movie anyway.

The next thing I know I'm asleep.

Liam's POV

Ryder smiled as I pulled him back to our cabin. Neither of us wanted to go back so soon but we had been out later than we should have been anyway so it was time. 

We walked in on Callum watching a movie he had seen a thousand times. His head snapped over to us when he heard the door open. He placed a finger to his lips and pointed over to Jax who seemed to be sleeping. 

Most people looked like big baby when they slept, but not Jax. He didn't relax or seem at peace. Instead he slept rigidly as if he was waiting to be woken up at any moment by a loud scream or slap to the face.

"Did you too make up," Callum asked in a hushed whisper as Ryder and I got ready for bed. 

"Yes we did, thanks for asking." Ryder said with a smile. "I'm going to take a shower." He annoyed as he picked up an extra set of clothes.

 "Mind if I join?" I ask innocently with a smile. 

"Sure but don't expect anything other than a shower." I follow behind him with clothed of my own with a smile on my face.

By the time I got in the bathroom Ryder has already turned on the water, waiting it to heat up while he stood there in nothing but a pair of my boxers. 

I couldn't help but notice his scars that I had become familiar with these past few years. After we had sex for the first time he had told me the story behind them.

He said that before he came to camp his mother was very sick and couldn't work. He was too young to get a real job so after a while he decided he would do something about it. He went out looking for a bunch of man whores who were only looking for a hole and made money off of them.

There was one night he picked the wrong guy to near. He had taken Ryder home and tied him down to the bed on his stomach, pulled out a knife, and started cutting all over Ryder's skin while he fucked him as hard as he could. 

Apparently Ryder had screamed so loud the man's neighbors called the cops and were able to arrest the man and took Ryder to the hospital. 

Patrick was later able to convince him to come to camp after promising his mother would be well taken care of. 

With a small frown I reach up and trace a long scar that ran from his shoulder blade down to his hipbone. Ryder gasped when I made contact with it. 

He always did when we touched them. He said they didn't hurt anymore but he always remembered how he got them when they were touched and it took him a second to get over the shock of having them touched again. 

"I told you not to expect anything other than a shower," Ryder reminded me as he dragged me into the small shower that was not meant for two people. 

"I know." I said while rubbing water up and down Ryder's back. "I don't want anything but this tonight."

"Are you thinking about it?" He asked, referring to the story about his scars. He was always able to tell when people are thinking about them. "I told you not to feel bad about it. It's not your fault."

 "I know it's not. I'm just admiring how badass they make you look." I lie, knowing that's what he needed to hear. He's so insecure about them.

"Jax has scars too," he points out as I begin to lather his hair with shampoo. He leans his head back against my chest and lets me do all the work.

"Does he, now?" Ryder only nods and hum in response. 

 "He has tattoos too." I couldn't help but groan at that. Ryder was trying to tease me; he knows how much tattoos turn me on.

 "How many?" I asked as I pull on his hair a bit, making him arch his back ever so slightly. 

 "Just two. One is a sick, black heart and the other one is on his back. It's a piece of torn skin that makes him look like a piece of machine." I frown at that.

"Those aren't very sexy tattoos," I say even though that's not really what I'm thinking.

Why would he want tattoos like that? Had he thought of himself as nothing more than apiece of metal? Did he think his heart was just a dull, black, beating thing?

I don't voice my thoughts to Ryder, knowing it would only get him worked up this close to bed and he wouldn't be able to go to sleep, but later would talk to Callum about it.

"We need to hurry up before the shower kicks us out," I remind Ryder even though he's now half asleep on my shoulder. I roll my eyes slightly as finish washing him before sending him out to bed so I can wash myself. 

Less than halfway through my shower the water cuts off making me sigh loudly. Ryder had used a lot more water than I had originally thought.

 Oh the things I do for Ryder.