Victor took his cake and waited for Connor to close the door behind him. He smiled unexpectedly. James cupped his face and kissed his forehead. 

“James,” Victor started, his voice was playful, “I think you have a new admirer. How does that make you feel?” His smile faded when he looked at the dog-cake. 

James frowned, forcing himself not to cross his arms like an angry toddler. “Who?” he asked, plopping down next to Victor and brushing his hair back fondly. 

Victor sighed, leaning against his arm. He was still glaring at the cake, unsure of what to do with it. “Oh, come on.” He waved his hand to nothing in particular. “Connor. Surely, you noticed.” 

“No?” James rolled his eyes, resting his cheek against Victor’s head. Connor? Yeah right, he probably had some sort of plan– or was making fun of him. James couldn’t even begin to imagine what went through that guy’s mind. “No, I don’t think so.”

“No, I’m pretty damn sure he does. He asked if you’re single.” Victor’s hair smelled like tobacco and Ollie’s vanilla shampoo. He touched the dog on the head and licked his finger. He seemed confused. “Plus did you see how he looks at you? Let’s say that it’s a good thing that looks can’t impregnate.” 

James shifted on the couch and wrapped an arm around Victor. “Pregnant?” He frowned, unsettled by that image. What would happen to his abs? No, no, there was no way he could, or would, or want to be pregnant. Thank god. He was never going to think about that ever again. 

"Yeah, he’s totally eyebanging you,” Ollie added with a nod, reaching over and plucking off the dog’s butt. “Theft!” He announced.

Victor scrunched his nose, showing his teeth in a disgusted grimace. “You’re not a very good thief,” he said as if the Connor subject was no longer interesting. “I think you’re not supposed to be seen doing the stealing.” He paused. “Why did you buy this dog cake? It’s creeping me out.” 

“I can totally see your point.” Ollie shoved the cake in his mouth. “I will sacrifice myself and eat the head if that makes you feel better. And because I love you.” 

“It does not… it does not make me feel better,” Victor said. 

“Say you love me,” Ollie said, ignoring everything else.  When Victor didn’t reply, still mesmerized by the now buttless dog, Ollie inhaled sharply. “You love me,” he repeated, squinting. “Pay your boyfriend taxes. It’s legally required.”

Victor licked some cream off his finger. He hummed. “I’ve never heard of such a law.” 

Ollie stuck his tongue in his cheek, glaring at Victor. “Say it.” He slapped Victor’s thigh, looked at it, and slapped it again. “Vicky!” 

“What?” Victor squeezed his cheek.  “What do you want me to say, you tiny, loud monster?” 

“That you love me.” Ollie fluttered his eyelashes and pouted his lips. “You have to say that because it makes me happy and you want me to be happy.” He waited. Then, when Victor still didn’t utter the words, Ollie grabbed his thigh and dug his fingers into it. “Say it, coward!” 

Victor laughed. “Oh, your cheeks are turning red.” He poked Ollie. “Adorable.” 

Ollie took the cake from Victor and placed it on the coffee table, then shoved Vic on his back and sat on him. “Yes, I am adorable,” he nodded fiercely, “but flattery won’t get you anywhere.”  

Victor shrugged, reached over, and pushed his finger into the cake again, then smeared it on Ollie’s nose. “I’m really not trying to get anywhere.” 

Oliver gasped and shoved his face into Victor’s cheek, transferring the cream on his face. They started wrestling on the couch. 

James chuckled. He’d heard this conversation enough times to be able to quote it; he already knew the games both of them were playing. Victor liked teasing Ollie and Ollie liked the attention. James decided to let them enjoy themselves while he took a much needed shower. While he was making his way to the bathroom he heard a loud thud, followed by Ollie’s laughter and Victor’s grunting.

When he returned later with a towel around his waist, they were back at his least favorite topic– Connor. James wanted to scream. Why him again? He just went home!

“So you told him we’re all dating?” Ollie’s eyes immediately latched onto James while he spoke– if anyone was eyebanging, it was him. James smirked.

“Nah, it’s not his business. I just told him James was dating someone,” Victor said, stretching out one of Ollie’s curls. 

James frowned. “Why don’t you just tell him?” He knew the answer to that, but he couldn’t help but feel abandoned. 

“Because we don’t know him that well. And it’s better if we don’t tell everyone we meet. You never know what could happen, you know? People have lost their careers over this.” He sighed. “You want to become a social worker and Ollie wants to be a teacher. People with kids will side-eye you if they know you’re dating two men. Hell,” Victor lifted both his hands to make a point, “they’ll complain if you’re only dating one.” 

“I don’t care. I don’t want to work for anyone who is going to judge me for who I love.” 

“Don’t be like that.” Victor scrubbed a frustrated hand over his face. “Please, it’s not that simple. If your boss finds out she can fire you. Knowing her, she WILL fire you. Polyamory isn’t a legally protected status. Ollie’s career as a teacher will end before it even begins, do you understand?” 

James did understand, but still, Victor’s insistence on keeping it secret ate away at him, like water wearing away at rock, slowly, inevitably. 

“All right,” he said, not wanting to start an argument. “But if Connor keeps coming over, I don’t want to hide it here. It’s our home.” 

Victor was picking at his thumb. He obviously didn’t like the idea. James pushed Victor’s hair back again. “I love you so much, but if it makes you uncomfortable, I’ll be discreet around him, ok?” 

Victor thought for a second.“If it makes things easier for you, you can let Connor or whoever believe that you’re only dating Ollie.” 

This wasn’t what James wanted - actually, he hated it - it felt like he was favoring one of his boyfriends over the other. But hiding all the time was draining. “Ok,” he agreed heavily.

 “It’s a compromise,” Victor continued,  “At least for a while. Until we can fully trust him.” 

Ollie dropped his head on Victor’s lap. “Well, as long as everyone is happy…” He didn’t sound convinced. 

“Anyway, James, you still don’t know how to dry yourself?” Victor asked, touching James’ stomach. Despite the serious conversation, a thrill rushed through James’ spine. Victor’s hand felt cold against his hot skin.

Victor moved his fingers up and stopped under his peck, then looked at his damp palm. “You’re an adult,” he muttered, shaking his head. 

James snorted a laugh and took his hand, then kissed his knuckles. “What? Adults can’t be wet?"