Chapter 7

-Percy-

Emmanuel clings to me even after we’re back in his room, and I just let him. I don’t know what happened, but I can tell that it was bad. 

Very bad. 

Taking his hands in mine, I check for where the blood came from - he has clear marks on the back of his hands from where he laced his hands together and although the wounds are shallow and already healing, it still worries me.

I thought that my mate was honestly just an arrogant bitch. But…I think that things are more complicated than that. I think that he just…needs help.

And I’m more than happy to help him.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I ask eventually, once he’s no longer clinging to me. Going into the bathroom, I dampen a cloth and clean up his hands, sitting next to him on the bed. Emmanuel still hasn’t met my eyes; instead, he’s staring fixedly at the duvet cover. 

It’s plain black, so I highly doubt that there’s anything interesting there.

“There’s not much to talk about…I got angry,” he says slowly, picking and choosing each word before it leaves his lips. Resting my hand on his leg, I leave it there for a moment whilst I select my own words.

“Did you leave because you didn’t want to shout at me? Did I make you angry?”

Emmanuel shakes his head quickly, glancing up and meeting my gaze for the shortest moment. “No…it was just my own thoughts. I just get angry for no reason sometimes. You did nothing wrong.”

I nod slowly, leaning back slightly and staring up at the ceiling. “You didn’t answer my first question. And I don’t think that it’s a good idea to sit outside in this weather, you could get hurt.”

Emmanuel sighs, flopping down next to me and rolling onto his side so that I can’t see his expression. “Yes, that’s why I left. I didn’t want to shout at you or like pull your hair or something. I thought it was better to just go.”

Another moment passes before I speak again. “Should I not have come to find you? I don’t want to make you feel worse.”

My mate suddenly sits up, finally meeting my eye. “No, that was…thanks. For doing that. Turns out that you’re uh. You’re pretty good at calming me down.”

I can’t help it. I smile at that. 

“Noted. If you’ll let me, then…next time you’re feeling angry…maybe I can hug you again.”

Emmanuel actually goes a little pink at that, which is…unexpected. But it doesn’t seem like a bad reaction, so that’s good at least.

He covers his mouth with his hand, staring at the duvet again. “Um…we’ll just see. I don’t want to lash out at you by accident or anything.”

I nod, fiddling with my loose hair. I don’t normally have it completely down but I haven’t had time to braid it again, so for now I’ll just leave it like this.

“Can I…brush your hair again?”

Glancing up from my lap, I look over in Emmanuel’s direction. He looks awkward, like he isn’t used to…what? Asking to brush someone’s hair? Or asking to be close to someone? 

Probably both.

“That would be nice, thank you,” I say as I slide a little closer to him. This time, I don’t sit on the floor and instead I stay where I am on the bed next to Emmanuel. He has to reach up to stroke through my hair, but I prefer not being at a height disadvantage from sitting on the floor.

When Emmanuel’s fingers scrape against my scalp, I close my eyes and let myself enjoy the feeling. It’s relaxing and his touch is light but firm enough to send tingles down my spine. Inadvertently, at some point my mind drifts to the other time Emmanuel’s touch made me feel…nice.

We haven’t really talked about that, other than the fact that it happened and then things went to shit after. We haven’t talked about the nice parts of that encounter. The joy that I know we both felt from finally meeting each other - I’d been waiting ten years, ever since I had the features dream when I was sixteen…I’d been dreaming of Emmanuel’s wolf for so long and finally I saw that black fur, those bright turquoise eyes. 

I was elated. 

And then there was the sex. Which was very good, to put it plainly. It clearly wasn’t Emmanuel’s first time, but it wasn’t mine either. And it didn’t matter. I didn’t care that there’d been people before, but I do care that there were people after. 

Because I’m also pretty sure that Keye wasn’t the only person in these past four years.

And I don’t consider it cheating, because we weren’t together. But it does upset me, because it feels like I was just holding out hope stupidly whilst he wasn’t doing the same. 

I let out a sigh; I managed to bring my thoughts down again. I was trying to think about the positives of it all but until I talk it all through with Emmanuel, every positive will be overshadowed by the negatives. 

“You’re upset.” Emmanuel’s voice brings me out of my thoughts and I sit up a little straighter. “What makes you think that?” I ask slowly, clasping my hands together. Emmanuel stops playing with my hair and turns me around to face him, where he places his hand on my chest, right on my heart.

“I can feel it. Not- not properly, but I can definitely tell enough to know that you aren’t feeling how you were a moment ago. So…what’s up?”

I look down at his hand on my chest before removing his hand from me and turning back around. But I don’t leave the room at least, so this feels like progress for our communication skills. 

“There are, unfortunately, a lot of things which upset me. And I’m just dealing with a lot right now, which I’m sure you are too. Can we talk in the morning? It’s really late and I need to find somewhere to sleep in the hall.”

Emmanuel snorts, “Percy you’re literally the alpha’s mate. There’s no way you’re sleeping in the hall. Oh- unless you want to, I guess,” he says a little awkwardly. I stand up quickly, forcing myself to turn around and look at him.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t sleep in the same room with you. It makes me uncomfortable- it’s not a you thing, it’s just- I- I can’t, I just can’t,” I hurriedly try to explain, and it comes out…very poorly. But Emmanuel nods understandingly. “That’s fine. Let’s at least find you a room which you can have to yourself then, alright?” He says far more gently than I would’ve ever expected from him.