Chapter 12

-Emmanuel-

She’s here. Of course Keye called her; my mother makes sure that if anything happens, Keye tells her. Mother is extremely aware of my anger issues, so that’s just lovely for me isn’t it.

And I’m extra pissed off right now, because I was having such a nice time with Percy. He was actually smiling and I could tell from the bond that he was happy, and we were finally getting to know each other.

But now, my mother is here.

Keye sends me guilty looks like she always does when she has to call my mum, but I don’t blame her for doing so. She’s just doing her job.

No, Keye isn’t the problem. My mother is. She knows how much I hate being the alpha, but she still left and made me take on the role. And my mother was actually a great alpha. And I’m really not. So my whole fucking pack hates me, and my mother is just living her life amongst the humans having a whale of a time on her own, without me or the pack.

I try and take a deep breath to curb the anger already raging within me; I’ve almost made it through an entire day without shouting or having an angry outburst and I really don’t want to do anything like that in front of Percy again.

He’s already had to deal with me shouting at him and then imploding yesterday evening. Percy doesn’t deserve to deal with this again. Especially after he was actually getting to know me rather than just the angry person I am sometimes. 

I don’t want him to think that I’m just this angry bastard all the time…although it’s pretty accurate…

Percy presses his hand against my back between my shoulders, right as I take yet another deep breath. I know that he can tell I’m angry - aside from me very obviously trying to deal with it, he can probably feel it through the bond.

“Emmanuel. Obviously I care about your health, why would you say something like that?”

I grit my teeth, clenching my hands around the duvet and trying desperately to keep my claws in so that I don’t accidentally mess up my hands again, which would just make Percy sad. Again.

“You only care because without me, you’d have to take over the pack again. And you’re too busy doing your own fucking thing to give a shit about us,” I snarl back. That’s it. I can’t keep my anger in, so if I can at least keep it to snarling rather than shouting then that’s an improvement.

Not that me shouting would even get a reaction from my mother; she would just stare at me apathetically like she always has.

Like she always will.

I suck in another breath, my claws already out and tearing through the fabric of my duvet cover. Percy’s arms wrap around me from behind and I close my eyes, leaning back into his touch and letting his calming presence flow into me.

“I think we should leave,” Keye says quietly, opening the door again. I keep my eyes closed so in the end I don’t see them leave, but I can tell the instant my mother is gone from the room. And then Percy strokes my cheek gently, giving me a small squeeze.

“You’re welcome to scent me, if you think that’d help.”

I nod instantly, shifting around in his arms and hiding my face in his neck. How did I get angry at Percy yesterday? He’s so calming to me…

And I think that’s why.

He can make me so calm, or he can do the opposite.

Because I care about him. Because he means a lot to me already. Because he’s my mate, my wolf, my alpha.

He’s so much more of an alpha than I will ever be.

—————

-Percy-

We stay like that for a while, hugging and sitting in silence until Emmi eventually pulls back from me, clearing his throat and looking…ashamed.

Keye mentioned this and I already saw it yesterday: when Emmi gets angry, he gets ashamed afterwards. He regrets feeling like that; he doesn’t want to feel like that.

Taking his hand in mine, I give it a small squeeze. “I’m proud of you,” I say quietly, watching as Emmi’s eyes gloss over a little before he quickly blinks the tears away. “Thanks. And thanks for…keeping me calm. I definitely wouldn’t have been able to get through it without you.”

“Me neither,” I say before I can stop myself. Emmi glances up at me, not knowing what I mean. I stare at my leg, where his hands rests in mine. Finally meeting his gaze, I try and finish what I started. 

“Emmi, you…the thought of you…it got me through a lot. After we mated…a lot- a lot happened,” I try and explain, but the memories of my pack, dead in front of me, our home destroyed…I wipe the tears from my eyes, pulling in a shaky breath.

Emmanuel cautiously guides me into a hug. Not a strong one, so that I can easily pull away if I want. I don’t. I hug him tightly, hiding my face in his neck. I want to scent him, but I can’t. I’d just be sniffing his neck; it’s not the same at all.

I just really need the comfort right now.

“I lost- I lost everything, Emmi. Literally everything that I had, even my own body. But I still had the memory of you, and I just- I had to find you,” I explain. I lost my family, my home, my pack, my people, my leg, my wolf. 

I lost everything, and I didn’t realise that I’d already lost my mate too.

But I have him back now. And I don’t have a pack, I don’t have my family or my home or my wolf, but I have a prosthetic leg so whoopee I guess. But that’s not the point. 

With Emmanuel, I can build it all again. I can have a home, a pack, a life.

A mate.

I can have Emmi.

And he's all I want.