CW for emotionally abusive language

Raf took the rest of the week off from the Center. 

In all fairness, he probably should have stayed home the day of the courthouse trip as well. When he woke up that morning, his body had hurt like hell, and he had been sorely tempted to spend the whole day lying in bed. He only decided against it when he remembered that doing so would have also meant spending more time with his father. The man had been insufferable in the days following Raf’s concussion, and he had no desire to repeat the experience. 

His father aside, Raf had also been genuinely touched when Christina asked him to accompany her to the courthouse. It eased his mind considerably to know that she still saw him as someone reliable, especially after how badly Robert had beaten him. When he got her message, he paused just long enough to pop a couple of painkillers, then grabbed his jacket and hurried over to the Center.

In spite of the lingering aches and pains, Raf had been surprised at how much he ended up enjoying the excursion. Spending the day with Christina and Dante was...well, it was actually the most fun he’d had in months. Nothing against his college buddies, of course, but it was a refreshing change of pace to hang out with friends who weren’t obsessed with getting wasted and/or laid. Raf had seen plenty of what the frat boy scene had to offer, and if he was honest, it had been getting kind of old. Going to parties and pranking the freshman were fun diversions -- or, at least, they used to be -- but it wasn’t like they actually mattered in the bigger scheme of things.

His work at the Center, on the other hand... that mattered. Being able to help Omegas in trouble mattered. Supporting Dante and Christina, having their backs when it counted -- that mattered. It felt good to be relied on, to have people actually need and expect things of him. For the first time in longer than he could remember, Raf didn’t feel like a ghost drifting through his own life. Being around Dante and the other Omegas made him feel somehow more solid, more real. It made him feel whole.

...Of course, that was probably also why it had hurt so much when Dante brutally shrugged him off after the incident at the restaurant. Despite how obviously harrowing the whole experience had been, Dante had made it abundantly clear that he wasn't interested in any help. 

Or rather, he wasn’t interested in any help from Raf. 

When Raf finally heard back from Dante later that night, two full hours after he had gone MIA, he simply said that he was “safe and staying with a friend” and thanked Raf for his concern. 

Raf had been, frankly, stunned.

Friend? What friend? I thought Dante didn’t have any friends.

The thought was uncharitable, and he knew it. Still, the implied rejection stung. Dante had needed help, and he’d found it elsewhere. After all of Raf's worrying, it turned out that Dante didn’t need Raf to take care of him or soothe his hurt feelings. He clearly didn’t need Raf at all.

Raf hadn’t exactly taken that well. After another hour spent fuming and writing about fifty text messages that he (very wisely) decided not to send, he finally sent a brief email to Dante’s Center account stating that he needed some time off to catch up on his schoolwork. 

As excuses went, it was plausible. It was even somewhat true, as he certainly did have a number of assignments that had been piling up. There was no need for him to feel guilty about taking some time off to focus on his grades. 

That didn’t stop him from feeling guilty anyway.

Raf knew that he was basically just sulking. Still, every time he thought about reaching out to Dante to try and clear the air, all of the hurt and angry feelings came rushing back, and with them, a mountain of new anxieties. What if he ended up saying or doing something that made the situation even worse? Dante was probably still in a vulnerable state; what if Raf opened his big dumb mouth and said something so incredibly insensitive or hurtful that Dante told him to fuck off and never talked to him again? They had only just started to become friends. It was terrifying to think that he might destroy everything, simply because he couldn’t control his temper.

Worthless. Stupid. Weak.

“Bored with your community service job already?”

The low rumble of his father’s voice startled Raf out of his musings. He instinctively tensed and slowly turned around to face the man in the doorway. 

Carlos Alvarez was leaning casually against the frame, his arms loosely folded across his chest. To an outside observer, his stance would have looked relaxed and unthreatening. 

Raf knew better.

He kept his voice deliberately neutral as he responded. “No, sir, nothing like that. Midterms are coming up, and I want to make sure I’m not falling behind with my assignments.”

His father scoffed. “Big words from someone who can barely scrape together a B average. It's funny to hear you talk like you actually give a damn about school.”

Raf didn’t respond. He knew his father’s moods, and he knew when the man was deliberately provoking him. Better to say nothing and see what it was that he actually wanted.

“Nothing to say, boy?” his father pressed.

“I’m not sure what you want me to say, sir,” Raf conceded. “I know my grades could stand some improvement. I’m doing my best to balance my commitments, but I know I’m still falling short of your expectations.”

Carlos sighed in frustration and ran his fingers through his graying hair. The diffidence of the gesture surprised Raf. He had been braced for fury, but this was something else altogether. Confused, Raf waited until his father spoke again.

“About that,” Carlos finally said. “It’s been brought to my attention that I’ve been somewhat...hard on you of late.”

Raf gaped. Okay, he was definitely in uncharted territory now. Had his dad been replaced by an alien or something?

“Your mother pointed out to me that you have been pursuing your probation seriously," Carlos continued somewhat awkwardly. “While I’m still not happy with your grades, I’m relieved that they have at least not declined further given your recent increase in...extracurricular activities.”

Ah, so he’s been talking to Mom, then. That explains a lot.

“Still, it’s imperative that you start spending more time thinking about your future. Between your subpar grades and the misdemeanor conviction that is even now staining your permanent record, you’re going to have a difficult time getting into a decent medical school. Even if I try to pull some strings on my end, it will be a tough sell.”

Raf’s face fell. “I thought we had agreed that I wasn’t pursuing medical school.”

Instantly, his father’s demeanor hardened. “I never agreed to any such thing!” Carlos retorted. “I assumed that your hard-headed reluctance was due to the fecklessness of youth. I thought that maybe you’d reconsidered now that you’ve had to spend some time facing actual consequences for your actions.”

“I am, but Dad, that doesn’t mean I’m suddenly cut out for medical school!” Raf protested. “You know my best subjects have always been in the humanities. That isn’t magically going to change just because you want it to.”

“Don’t you dare take that tone with me!” his father snapped. “The only reason you have failed to do well in math and science is because you haven’t been applying yourself enough! Maybe if you studied a little more, instead of hanging out with those miscreants you call friends--”

“I’ve never expressed any interest in medicine!” Raf cut in, his voice growing increasingly frustrated despite his attempts to keep his emotions in check. “Why do you keep insisting on this?”

“Because you don’t seem to know what else you want to do with your life, that’s why!” Carlos exploded. “You say you've never expressed interest in medicine, but you've never expressed interest in anything else either.”

“That’s not true!”

“Fine then, nothing else that actually matters,” his father scoffed. “Nothing that makes for an actual career befitting an Alpha from a good family.” He began to tick off his fingers. “You don’t want to do medical school, you’re too lazy to manage a business, you’re too timid to be a lawyer, and we both know you’re too stupid to do anything related to tech or engineering! Shall I go on?”

“I just...haven’t found what I want to do yet,” Raf said, his cheeks reddening. “I’m still only 21, why do I have to know what I want to do for the rest of my life?”

“Because you’re almost out of college, and as soon as you graduate, I want you out of this house, that's why!” Carlos practically roared. “Lord knows I’ve done enough for you over the years. More than enough! The best schools, the best tutors, every advantage money can buy! And what have you done, besides throw it all back in my face and whine about how you’re not done ‘finding yourself’?”

He straightened and pointed his finger directly at Raf’s chest as he issued his ultimatum. “It’s time for you to grow up, Rafael. I’m done. Medical school, law school, business school, I don’t fucking care. Pick something and try to bring a little credit to the Alvarez family name, or figure the rest of your worthless life out on your own dime.”

He stormed out of the room.

Raf sank back down into his chair and put his head in his hands.

As always, there was no point in arguing with his father. I don’t know why I even try, he thought dejectedly. He never listens anyway.

He looked over at his pile of textbooks in despair. He still had no idea what he wanted to do with his life, but he also knew his father wasn’t one for idle threats. It sounded like he needed to figure something out, and soon. 

With a heavy sigh, he picked up the Civics textbook at the top of the stack, opened up his laptop, and tried to will himself to focus. It wasn’t like his problems were suddenly going to fix themselves. At the end of the day, his future was still uncertain, his father was still an asshole, his midterm paper was still due, and Dante still wanted nothing to do with him.

You know that last one isn’t true, the reasonable part of his brain reminded him.

Raf dropped his head onto the desk and he rested his forehead against his arms. 

Of course, he knew that. Dante wasn’t so petty as to cut off communication completely just because they’d had a disagreement.

Nope, that would be you, you coward.

“Ugggghhhh,” Raf moaned into the desk. Why did he always have to act like such a brat? He hated to admit it, but his father was right about that much. He needed to grow up. Maybe if he acted more like an adult, Dante would start to trust him a little bit. Maybe then Raf could be the person that Dante relied on when things went sideways, instead of this mystery “friend” whose existence had been driving him crazy for the better part of the week. 

Oh for the love of god. Just admit that you miss him already.

Raf sat up abruptly. Where the fuck had that come from?

His phone abruptly buzzed. He picked it up and unlocked it. A new message from Dante had just come in. 

Raf reread the message twice. For some reason, his brain was having trouble processing it. 

He knew that Dante was a considerate person. It shouldn’t come as a surprise that he would want to check in, especially after so many days of silence on Raf’s part. But something about the tone seemed off. There was a tentative quality to it, almost like the unflappable Dante was...nervous? Was that even possible?

As he stared at the words, trying to make some sense of the message, his eyes were caught by the previous text sitting just above it.

Slowly, he scrolled upwards to look at the chain of unanswered messages from Dante. When he had first received them, he had been so angered by the first one that he hadn’t really bothered to do more than glance at the rest. He now read each one carefully.

Raf put down the phone and covered his face with his hands.

God, he was such an idiot. Yes, it was true that Dante had panicked and reacted badly in the heat of the moment, but he had at least been trying to repair the relationship between them afterward. Raf had just been too stubborn to see it.

He picked up his phone again and tapped out a brief reply.

He internally cringed at the awkwardness of the messages, but it was the best he could do for now. He set down his phone and turned back to his laptop. A few minutes later, the phone buzzed once more.

Raf took a deep breath and released it slowly. Okay. It wasn’t much, but it was at least a step in the right direction.

He returned his attention to his assignment, and did his best to ignore the nervous fluttering in his stomach as he buckled down and got to work.