By the time I fall asleep, the sun is rising. Billie wakes me up around ten in the morning, with the sweet smell of eggs and bacon. I blink more than it’s humanly possible. She laughs and, fresh from the shower, sits in bed wearing nothing but a robe.

She looks happy, so I mimic her smile as I fill my mouth with a full spoon of cereal.

This isn’t exactly my job —going out, sleeping in her hotel room, having breakfast with her, cuddling her cat and listening to her are things a friend would do, not what a public relations assistant does. Besides, I have my own room that the company is paying for. If Lilah found out this is what we’re doing, we’d probably be scolded. 

However, I’ve learnt this about Billie: she can’t tell her work and personal life apart, so I’m not going to try and separate them for her. And she is fun to be around. I could use some fun right now.

“So, you’re dumping him?” she asks, curious.

I told her yesterday, in the club.

“Yup. I think so. But I’ll wait until I’m there. I don’t really want to deal with this while I’m here. His tears can wait.” With the spoon in my mouth, I can tell I’m clenching my teeth. “Is it weird?”

“What is?”

“That I feel absolutely nothing.” I put the bowl on the tray and look at her. “He’s cheating on me. Shouldn’t I be feeling angry, at least?”

Billie has the littlest amount of bacon and munches it for way too long. I can tell she’s looking for an answer. Her face changes, as if she’s watching a movie I can’t see. Then, as she puts the fork on the tray, she shrugs. She spits the meat in the napkin and clears her voice before she speaks.

“Maybe he’s not the only liar.” 

I open my mouth, almost offended. I have never, not even once, lied to Brandon. I wouldn’t think of it. I wouldn’t break his trust like that, nor would I be someone to break anyone’s heart. I’ve gotten my fair share of cheating at home, and that family tendency ends with me.

“It’s not my fault that he wanted more.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m not defending him.”

“I’ve never lied to him.” I am the one looking away now. “But I guess we weren’t exactly...”

“You weren’t exactly…?”

She moves, aiming to shoot. When I look back at her, she’s waiting for me. Her blue eyes seem to know more than I do. There’s a little smirk, and her hand finds mine. The gesture surprises me but I’m too afraid of her to move. Can she see right through me the way I see right through her lies sometimes? 

Nonetheless, she says nothing else about Brandon. She smiles and moves her arms in the air.

“You should shower, girl,” she jokes. “You smell like a bar.”

“And whose fault is it now?”

My hair is still wet when I get to Matt’s suite, wearing a simple nude sweater, trousers and some sneakers. I make sure that Billie is inside before I close the door. I can feel her smile and accept Matt’s closeness with a gentle smile. I get to see the way she offers him a hug and apologizes for screaming at him the night before. 

The boy looks a little bit less uncomfortable today, which is nice.

I bite my lower lip, still a little bit hungover from the night before, and walk past them. I left my laptop here yesterday, so I had nothing to bring with me. Charlie was the one who took my camera back to the hotel, too, as I ran after Billie.

“Morning,” I smile, as I sit on the couch next to her. Since I’m wearing comfortable clothes and I feel like a car drove me over, my limbs are all over the place. I try to smile but I’m tired. “You got any sleep?”

“The coffee here is useless, so yeah.” It takes me a moment to realize that she’s not looking at me. She’s playing with her phone.

The way she runs her fingers through her hair feels natural and conventionally adorable. I raise a brow, confused as to why I’m even surprised that the girl looks cute when doing that. 

“Are you ready for the videoconference?”, she groans.

“There isn’t much to say: everything is going according to plan. I’ve been checking the news this morning, and I’ve read all of my emails.”

“Hey, Charlie, don’t mess with my girl.” Billie laughs, leaning on the sofa. Matt is standing next to her, and I catch him smiling. “She knows what she’s doing.”

“We’ve set everything up so we can see them on TV,” he says. He seems proud of himself for saying that.

The first thing we do, and we do it as an improvised team, is to call our bosses and tell them everything went according to plan. The pictures are out. The moment Lilah thanks me for being in time, I know I have something else to thank Charlie for. She was kind enough to export the pictures yesterday night and use my laptop while I was getting drunk.

I would think of it as a threat if it wasn’t because she lets me get the recognition. If she wanted to tear me down, she’d humiliate me in front of my boss. 

But she doesn’t.

Once the call is over, we realize that it’s time for us to part ways. It is weird to think that, with all those plans changing, we have around three to four days to do whatever we want until it’s time for the big finale. Billie told me that she wanted to spend most of the time in the studio, and that she would like to be alone for creative purposes. I know she wants to go and try meeting Anna at some point. However, she’ll be careful. She wouldn’t want her beloved to be hurt in the process, so I don’t worry about her being caught. Should I be worried?

I guess it’s my time to go sightseeing and enjoy the weather, anyway.

“Hey, Amber, are you going to eat those fries?”

“Oh, absolutely not. They’re all yours, tiger.” I toss them through the table, all the way to Matthew Berry.

If Matt and Billie weren’t Matthew Berry and Billie Grace, this would definitely feel like some sort of student exchange program. The thought of it makes me smile, but the grin goes away when Billie offers me some more food. 

“I’ll explode,” I answer.

“So, what are your plans, loverboy?” Billie asks.

“I called my mom, and we hired security, so I’m good to go in the late evening.” The guy looks adorable. His smile lights up the room. “But we’ll see each other real soon, right?”

I truly can’t help it today. I’m looking at Charlie, who seems way too distant now.

“Are you going with him?” I ask.

Her dark hair moves as she does, surprised to be talked to out of the blue. Why is she frowning again? I thought we were friends now.

“I guess?”

“But you don’t really have to.” Billie has been moving that carrot for hours now. “Wouldn’t it be weird for his family, if you stayed with him?”

“Oh, no, it’s totally fine!” Matt is blushing.

“I figured, but...” Billie shrugs. “You get to have some intimacy, and I’m guessing Charlie would like to see London, right?”

“I mean, it is my job,” she says, still frowning. Why is she always frowning? Her nose can’t take it anymore. “What are you going to do? Aren’t you going to stay together?”

I resist the urge of touching her forehead with my index finger and erasing the wrinkles. But I need her to stop looking so loud and angry.

“Billie is getting to the studio and locking herself in, so I guess I’ll stay here and visit London.” I shrug, instead, keeping my hands inside the hoodie.

“See? Amber knows I can handle myself.”

“Like you handled yourselves yesterday night?” Charlie’s voice is but a murmur, but we get to hear it.

If it offends me, I can’t really tell. I wonder how Billie is going to take that, and I guess so does everyone else in the room. There’s a silence that precedes her softened voice. 

“I’m not a piece on a chessboard, Charlie.” She is serious, but there are no harsh feelings in her eyes. “This is my job, too. But we all get to live a little. Have you ever been to London before? Because I have no idea of when you’re coming back.”

Charlie is clearly uncomfortable by being talked to like that, so she shakes her head instead of answering. I catch a glimpse of Matt, who tries to smile at her so that she feels like she has a friend in the room. But the thing is that Billie is trying to be as friendly as she can. And I kind of get what she’s trying to do.

She knows how it feels, going back home with your agent, having someone watch over you all of the time. It must feel like you’re some kind of dangerous animal, a precious museum piece. And I understand now: she’s trying to show Matt that there is no reason for him to live like that, right?

“Listen, you can go with Matt,” I say. “If that makes you feel more comfortable, it’s alright. But Billie can get us great seats for Wicked. And I’m definitely going to watch Wicked tonight.”

There’s a new light in her lips, which are dry and decorated with small cuts. I smile too, as Billie tells her that Wicked is probably one of the best musicals she’s ever been to. The conversation flies before my eyes but I’m just thinking about the blood on her lips, the dry cuts, her ripped skin.

“Here,” I say, as we’re leaving the room. I’m handing her some chapstick I had in my camera’s bag. “See you tomorrow for that tour, then?”

“I’ll ask my boss first.”

She’s not looking at me, so I lean on her a little bit. She’s shorter than me, which doesn’t help when we’re standing one in front of the other. She rises up to the challenge, and I don’t know why that makes me laugh.

“Okay, mommy’s little girl,” I smile, being just the right amount of mean. “Let me know if you’re up for the ride, then.”