With Vampires, there is blood. There is always blood. Usually most of the requirements we need are in the blood. But sometimes for us there is a feasting of the glands… And if it comes from either human or an unclean animal, the former is always preferred. When a human is not available, swine blood is a good substitute. Oh. And there are many varieties of both on the menu, but humans do have one distinction that I will offer now before I move on to the main thrust of this letter. Virgins taste better. And the younger the virgin, the tastier. I recall attending a meeting with the Bohemian Grove and there was a pure, three year old girl there, an actual virgin, I must say. Not even a hint of sodomy from the red shoe clansmen. I admit that a frenzy overcame me and I ate most of her, flesh and all. It was most tasty. Even the meat had a taste that I have not had since the 1400’s at Stonehenge. I was not invited back. But I digress.

Our bodies don’t have the proper serotonin or melatonin. So we avoid the sunlight primarily for this reason, that we cannot handle it. Sunlight actually makes us violently ill. It’s not as you picture it in Hollywood movies at all. They’ve got it all wrong. Most have it all wrong about vampires, specifically, the Brahmaparusha. It all comes down to the Torah and the evil found therein. There it is. I’ve gone and spilled the beans about the reality that lies at the heart of it all. It’s one of the reasons that I enjoy swine blood. Swineflesh, to me, is the most non-Kashrut I could think of… Except maybe the aborted.

To not be confusing to myself on re-reading, I will clarify. Torah is the law of God for Israel. Kashrut is the diet law found inside the Torah. So simple. Certain mystics try to change the diet laws into something called: “Kosher” but it’s all a lie. Just ask a cheeseburger if it’s a goat and a kid – That’s homework for most.