I awoke two hours before sunset, fully refreshed from feeding yesterday on a nice prostitute and her john. I stripped down to nakedness and gave myself a loofa bath and a Halo hair treatment, and put on my best Givenchy Bathrobe. It was December the 21st and I meant to make the most of it. Tammuz would want her death to be a happy celebration. And what closer time to idolatrize the Catholic god than good old Christmas. I had purchased a Santa Claus outfit last month and had it sent to my tailor, Claude, directly after getting some measurements. It put it on, and it fit like a glove. Rather than have the ordinary paunch that Old Saint Nick has, I opted for the skinny terrifying version. As I have mentioned before, I am lean and I made quite the spectacle in any outfit.

I decided to take it to the next level. Might as well be dapper. Tonight would be the continuation of a glorious Saturnalia for me. Almost as good as All Hallows Eve… The only night of the year I really let loose. “Christ-Mass” has become a second glorious night for me. And this year was going to be full of adventure.

Every vampire has skill sets. The uniqueness of our skills is as varied as our bodies are. Some vampires that I know have bulging bodies in excess of several thousand pounds. Much larger than any human would have ever believed. Some of us fly, some of us bend human wills, and some of us have lycanthropy. I have a very small skill set. My main skill is to bend human senses. It is indeed a very narrow skill yet I use it with great acumen. And not many have my skill. I have learned how to make a mass effect towards groups of people, making them all believe that they were going through an earthquake. When they look, most see me as an old woman. I have not yet learned how to be invisible, but I have managed to get by with becoming a Pomeranian. That was oh so very tiring.

Many of my brothers and sisters can fly in their mortal bodies, some have long fingernails or teeth that can retract and grow at will. Some who cannot fly, can run or move at great speed. While we can all move faster than the normal human, I am one of the slower ones. Some say my skills are low, and yet, can they clear out a building because everyone smells smoke?

So it was with my skills that I grew even taller in man’s eyes and made my face exaggerated with the gauntness that is my norm. Pale eyes, white hair, an almost translucent green pallor – I was quite the sight, and I was ready to hit the town. Watch out Forsyth Park, Santa Zombie is coming.

Once I was ready, there was nothing holding me back from going for a nice walk down the street. I live in downtown Savannah, an area that most consider historic. I will not tell you where really, for I do not know who will ever come to find me.

Consider that, you vampire hunters. Come and find me if you dare, for I will rip you in half. But, if you know anything at all about Savannah, you will know that most of the downtown area is “historic” – Most of the squares are “historic” – most of the graveyards are “historic” and all of the hated humans deem them to be “haunted.” Oh, if only they knew.