Mae-Ying Allen ~ 3-27-2029, 9:45 GMT
Niva drives Mae-Ying all the way out to Manchester, to an ice cream parlor with pink walls and inside seating. Despite the cold, Niva takes her mint chocolate chip cone outside. Mae-Ying follows her, shaking her head a little, and sits down across from her at a little wrought-iron table. She eats a spoonful of her sundae, keeping as much of her hand as possible inside her sleeve.
“This is good,” Mae-Ying says.
"I overheard Wallace and Burgess talking about it one day and I have always wanted to try it,” Niva says. “The kitchen at the manor does not often serve desserts."
"So this is your first time here?"
Niva nods. She eats her ice cream with a small smile, singularly focused on each bite.
“Do you get out like this often?” Mae-Ying asks.
“No.”
"Do they ever do social stuff at the Manor? Like parties or whatever?"
"Weekly there is a dinner which everyone assigned to the Manor is supposed to attend, but since Marshal Reed came it is less important and many people do not." Niva pauses to lick her ice cream cone. "Sometimes there are gatherings in the village, but I do not go to those."
Mae-Ying nods and takes another bite of her sundae. "So, uh, do you want some more advice about how to deal with these people or do you just want to relax?"
"Advice, if that is okay. I think there is much I should learn."
“Okay. Let me ask you this. What do you want other people to think of you?”
Niva frowns. “I don’t know,” she says after a long while.
“Well, think about it. It’s hard for me to give you advice if I don’t know what you’re going for.”
"I think that people do not respect me,” Niva says. “You said you think people fear me, but fear is not the same as respect, you know?"
“Yeah, not really.”
"I think I would like to be respected,” Niva says. “I think I would like it if more people would listen to the things I have to tell them. And the angels would be pleased by this, also."
"Okay. So, the first thing I have to say is, no one will respect you if they dictate the terms of their interactions with you."
“What do you mean?”
“Remember that exchange I had in the gym with those bitches who called you autistic? I could have pretended I didn't hear anything.”
“That would have been wrong?”
“Well, yeah,” Mae-Ying says. “They were showing off how they could get away with acting like assholes. If I hadn’t gotten in their face, they would have had total control over the situation."
Niva frowns thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing at dinner,” Mae-Ying says. “Everyone sits far away and ignores you and Emry. They’re getting away with being inconsiderate and treating you two like pariahs."
"You think that Emry suffers from this also?"
"Yes."
"Is it because he associates with me, do you think?"
"Not really,” Mae-Ying says. “I think it's because they’re so young. Also, they told me they feel ill at ease with some of the more conservative people at the manor."
Niva nods slowly. "I see. I do not think Emry would like to get in peoples' faces, though."
"No, I don't think so either,” Mae-Ying says. “But that’s not always necessary, in any case. I did it with those two bitches since I don’t care if they hate me. But yelling at people won’t make them want to eat dinner with you.”
Niva sighs. “But what can I do if yelling at people will not work?”
"Let me ask you a question,” Mae-Ying says. “When you have to talk to someone, how do you feel?"
"I do not mind it, but I suppose I only seek it out if I need something."
"It seems like it bothers you,” Mae-Ying says. "Your entire posture changes."
Niva shrugs. “I suppose I am expecting them to give me some trouble, because it seems as though people often do that when I need something."
"Okay, well, fair," Mae-Ying says. "In any case, you look anxious, maybe even hostile. It makes people more likely to give you trouble."
“You think that if I am not so tense, they will treat me better?"
“Some of them might,” Mae-Ying says. "Here’s an idea. Why don’t you try and pretend you're talking to me when you approach people?"
“I am not so good at imagining...”
“Alright, well… you’re good at meditation. Maybe you could take some calming breaths and try to relax?”
"I will try both things,” Niva says. “I do think it is easier for me to talk to you, although I cannot say why."
"Did you feel that way when you first met me?"
Niva considers. "You were very belligerent then. I thought perhaps I might have to punch you."
“I had a reason to be belligerent!"
"Only because you would not listen!"
“I wouldn't listen because I was scared out of my mind," Mae-Ying says. “I'd just watched my boyfriend die."
Niva frowns at the remnants of her ice cream cone. "He was important to you?"
"Yes, but... it's complicated,” Mae-Ying says.
"I am sorry, Mae-Ying. I took what they wrote about you in the dossier at face value. I thought it was shameful that you should mourn for a man who was a traitor."
"I didn't know he was a traitor. Well... I'd just found out, but I barely understood. Before that I thought he was smart and competent."
"I thought you were using him for power,” Niva says. “I do not know why, but it seemed wrong to me, that you were with him."
“That's what a lot of people thought,” Mae-Ying says. “But I was his legislative director before we started--I didn’t get that position by sleeping with him.”
"But you do not like it, that you did?"
Mae-Ying sighs. “Look, he came on to me, and the truth is, I was afraid if I rejected him I'd have to quit my job. It was a really great job. They had rules against relationships between Senators and subordinates, for about five seconds, but those got repealed years ago..."
Niva stares at her, stunned.
"Yeah, it's really cute." Mae-Ying puts her spoon in her empty dish. “I think I'm done with men for a little while."
"That is perhaps good. There are not so many nice men in the Knights."
"Well, that's pretty much par for the course,” Mae-Ying says. “Say, um… do you think you could get me a copy of that dossier?”
“Your dossier?”
Mae-Ying nods.
"No. It is now in the archives."
“Damn,” Mae-Ying says. "Would I be allowed to look at it?"
“Possibly. Probably not. You are a trainee and not a full Knight yet; you have to swear loyalty to the Marshal and the Grand Marshal, once you finish training.”
“So I could just, what, give the ring back, once training’s done?” Mae-Ying asks.
Niva nods. After a moment, she asks, "Why would you wish to see your dossier, when it is only about you?"
"I'd like to see what impression they have of me."
Niva considers this for a moment. "Would this not only make you angry at them for the inaccuracies?”
"Well, it might, but I think it would be useful information nevertheless."
Niva gives Mae-Ying a level look. "Useful for what reason?"
“If it's rife with inaccuracies, it'll let me know that their intelligence about DC is bad," Mae-Ying says. “And it’ll help me make sense of how people treat me.”
Niva chews the last bit of her cone. “I will see if they will give it to me.”
“Thanks,” Mae-Ying says. “Don’t worry about it if they say no.”
Niva keeps her eyes lowered as they clear off their table and start walking back to the car. Mae-Ying wonders about the dossier. Exactly how much does Niva already know about Mae-Ying’s personal life? Mae-Ying isn’t exactly embarrassed by her history of serial dating and one-night stands, but she can only imagine how that would make her look to someone as sheltered and conservative as Niva.
Niva is still in deep thought as she climbs in behind the wheel of the car.
“You okay?” Mae-Ying asks.
"I am just thinking… I do not know what I would say if someone wished to have… romance, with me."
Mae-Ying laughs, and Niva shoots her a hurt look.
“Sorry. I’m not laughing at you! I’m really not,” Mae-Ying says. “It’s just I’m the worst person to give you advice about that. My personal life is a disaster.”
"Oh. Well, I know I would not accept advances for political power, or because I was threatened. If I felt threatened by a man..." Niva frowns and clenches her fist. A heat-wave distortion forms around her hands, a visual cue that Mae-Ying has learned means Niva is channelling Logos. The heat wave-sight is just one way in which Mae-Ying’s senses seem to be expanding lately, even when she’s not holding Logos herself. Her vision seems sharper, her hearing clearer, than it ever has before. Periodically she sees flashes of color around people or things that she thinks is probably their aura. Or she’s just having a very slow aneurysm.
“I think a man would have to be pretty stupid to try something like that with you,” Mae-Ying says.
“Yes,” Niva says.
Mae-Ying looks out the window, but she’s only barely paying attention to the city outside. Something about this exchange with Niva is bothering her. Apparently Niva is a virgin--which, whatever--but it seems she might not even know what sex is, or how one engages in it. After all, Niva doesn’t have parents to explain these things, and she never went to school.
Mae-Ying presses her lips together and tries to decide what, if anything, she should do. On the one hand, trying to inform her about the topic would be weird and personal and kind of patronizing--but on the other, it seems almost negligent not to try.
“Niva, I’m going to ask you a question, and I really hope you don’t take offense,” Mae-Ying says.
“What is it?”
“Do you know, like, how sex works?”
Niva frowns. "You mean the lying of men with women?"
Mae-Ying has to force herself not to laugh. “Well, that’s, uh, one thing you could call it, sure. But that’s only one kind of sex, you know?”
“There are other kinds?”
“Yeah. Sometimes two people of the same gender fall in love. Not to mention some people don't have a gender, so much, but they can still--" she forces herself not to say have romance-- “have sex.”
"Wait." Niva looks out at the road, utterly consterned. “Why would a woman and a woman lie together? There can be no children. And I do not even understand what you mean by… you are born one or the other thing!"
“Well, first of all, plenty of men and women have sex without intending to have children, just because they enjoy it,” Mae-Ying says. “And sometimes two women really care about each other, or they just like each other's company a whole lot, and so they have sex for no other reason than to have fun and make each other happy."
"If it is just… lying together… why would that be fun?"
"It’s not just lying down next to each other, there’s touching and kissing, usually, and… stuff most people like.”
"Oh." Niva is quiet for a long stretch of road. "I will need to think about this," she finally says.
"Okay. It might be less awkward if I give you something to read about it."
Niva nods.
"About the gender thing... well, some people are born feeling like their spirit doesn't match their biological sex. And some people are born feeling like gender is something they don't particularly understand or relate to."
"I know that it is possible for one to become the other, when they reincarnate to a new life," Niva says after some consideration.
“Well, it’s also possible for people to change their apparent gender during a single lifetime, either by surgery, or hormone treatments, or just by dressing and acting differently,” Mae-Ying says.
After a little while, Niva says, "I think it must be very difficult, to feel at odds with the body you are in."
Mae-Ying nods, thinking of Emry. All she has is speculation, until they--he?--choose to elaborate, and she can’t imagine them feeling comfortable enough to speak up. Not living at the Manor.
Mae-Ying flicks her eyes across her glasses and opens the local storage of her Avatar. She has a lot of books downloaded, sitting on her hard drive, things she’s read on long plane flights or on the metro. Most of the things she has regarding gender are more academic than Niva would probably find helpful, but she has a few titles. She creates a new folder, tapping her thumb against her fingers in a series of haptic gestures that name the folder ‘For Niva’. She begins moving books into it.
#
The following day, Daisy is quiet over breakfast, until Niva arrives.
“I’d like to speak with you both,” Daisy says.
“Okay,” Mae-Ying says. “About what?”
“First of all, I would like to congratulate Avraham,” Daisy says. “You’ve been doing a superb job thus far. I heard all about the miracle of Allen’s Cloaking ability when I was at the Manor earlier.”
Niva looks in Daisy’s general direction but doesn’t make eye contact. "Thank you, ma'am."
"In fact, I'm wondering if a practical assignment wouldn't be within Miss Allen's capabilities now,” Daisy says.
"Practical how?" Niva asks.
"Well, she's mentioned curiosity as to who was responsible for Senator Walsh's death,” Daisy says.
Mae-Ying nods. “I am.”
“Ma’am, we know who killed him,” Niva says. “It was the man with the snake head--”
“Yes, one Mr. Garibaldi by name,” Daisy says. “I want to know more about him. I want to know who holds his leash.”
Niva's jaw clenches. "Ma'am, I respect you, I hope you are aware of this, but--"
"I'm not suggesting we send her out into the field alone and unaided, Avraham,” Daisy says. “I want you both to go to Washington. Now that Allen can Cloak, I’m sure the two of you together can dig up some details we can’t here, sitting on the other side of the Atlantic. If you manage to turn up Garibaldi himself, so much the better. You will call me and I will bring enough force to handle whatever he might be capable of."
"You would come yourself?" Niva asks.
Daisy smiles slightly. "It would be good to stretch my legs, a little.”
"The Marshal will not like this plan,” Niva says.
Daisy looks at her gloves and wipes away an imaginary spot of dirt. "Well, as to that, I have some few prerogatives, being a senior Knight. There's no need for him to become aware of it until you're both done. Does he really expect you to complete her training at the Manor?"
Niva frowns. “Marshal Reed is a Judge, ma’am. He can know if I speak a lie to him."
"Which is why you must learn to speak around the truth and to avoid unnecessary communications. Getting anything done in this organization requires knowing how to evade bureaucracy, and you have to learn to do that someday, Avraham,” Daisy says.
"I'm more than willing to go,” Mae-Ying says. “I’ll go alone if I have to.”
“I am not sure she is ready for this,” Niva says. “It is dangerous and we are not supposed to be there--”
Daisy raises a hand to interrupt Niva. “We must take some risks if we are going to break open Synesis. I judge that the risk is not sufficient to stop us from acting. By tomorrow morning I will have whatever information we’ve managed to gather on Garibaldi, but I don’t expect it will be much. Allen, with her knowledge of the political field in America, is our best shot at this.”
Niva looks over at Mae-Ying and sighs. "I suppose you have a right to know something of the man who was trying to kill you."
“I’m so glad to have your approval of my orders,” Daisy says with a mild glare.
"You wish that we should depart on this mission soon?" Niva asks
“Wait no longer than another day,” Daisy says. “The trail is doubtless growing cold.”
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