Chapter Three
It was midday and Andy was at his local library. Andy was reading an article on schizophrenia. The article detailed that schizophrenia was a disease of the mind that affected reality. The person with the disorder could hear voices that are not there and see things that are not there. The person would be disoriented most of the time and in full belief that the voices or things they see are real.
Andy was pondering if the shadow was real or not. If it was a figment of his imagination. He truly wanted to believe that it was. He wanted to be downright crazy. Insane, psychopathic. Anything other than the possibility that the shadow was real and could inflict real pain.
Andy closed the tab on the computer and walked briskly out of the library. It was cold outside, mid-September in Michigan. There was a thin layer of ice that covered everything. The world was shiny for a moment. Despite the cold, Andy enjoyed this. He savored his walk home, trying to clear his mind of the shadow and his biological mother. It was still daytime - around 6 PM, but it was very cloudy and dark outside, considering. It felt like almost nighttime as he traversed his neighborhood streets.
He yearned for a distraction. He watched everything that moved - 10 year-old Tim riding his bicycle in a 30-foot radius in circles around his driveway. A stray cat, with patchy fur and scabs on the bare skin, stalking a mouse in the alley behind a particularly sketchy apartment complex. A person, walking in his direction under the streetlight.
Andy paused. That was not a person. It was too still, too featureless to be a person. The shadow was back. Andy squeezed his eyes shut and sat on the ground, right in the center of the street. He wanted to break down and cry or scream. He suddenly realized that this is how Anya, his biological mother, must have felt when it appeared. Helpless, hopeless, alone, and afraid.
Andy sat there for some time with his eyes squeezed tightly shut, his knees pressed against his chest in a protective ball, until a passerby noticed him and called over.
“Hey, mister. Are you okay?” a woman’s voice called. He finally opened his eyes and looked over at the woman. She was an attractive natural redhead, face covered in freckles. She was a few yards away, standing with a lone tulip in her hands. He stared at her a moment, and then turned in the direction where the shadow was last seen. It was gone.
The woman called again, taking a few steps closer, “Hey, did you hear me? Are you okay?” She closed the distance between them. Her eyes were a startlingly beautiful blue-green up close.
He stared at her for a moment, dumbfounded. Clearing his throat, he said “Sorry. Yes, I am fine. Are you?”
She laughed. Andy felt his cheeks redden. “Yeah, okay. Well get home safe.” She began to walk away.
Andy reached out towards her back, ready to grab her by the shoulder, but stopped himself. “Excuse me,” he called shyly. “I know this is going to sound really weird and feel free to tell me to ‘fuck off,’ but would you mind walking me home?”
The woman turned around to look at Andy, one eyebrow cocked in either amusement, confusion, or both. “You’re a grown man. I think you can walk yourself. Unless you are looking to kidnap and murder me,” she said and stared Andy down intensely. Then a big smile broke across her face and she howled with laughter. “I am just fucking with you!” she cowled. “How far of a walk is it?” she asked.
Andy took a moment to slow his beating heart. “Just a block or two,” he whispered. “You don’t have to, really. I was just joking.”
She looked around once more, then turned back to Andy. “Fuck it,” she said, and reached out a hand to shake. “My name is Sandra. If you kill me, I’ll haunt you until you commit suicide. Let’s go.” and with that, she turned and started walking. Andy felt that her joke was morbidly similar to what he felt he was experiencing currently.
Andy felt so confused and his mind was so cluttered with different responses. “Slow down,” he called. “You don’t even know which way is my house.”
She stopped walking for a moment to wait for Andy, and then he led her in the direction she had already been walking. She held back her laugh. They walked in silence for a moment, and then Sandra asked “How come you wanted me to walk with you, anyways? Are you some kind of a pervert or are you scared?”
“Well, I’m not a pervert,” he said so quietly it was almost to himself.
“So, then you’re scared.” she determined. “What are you so scared of?”
Andy kept walking and stayed quiet. He didn’t want to answer her. He didn’t want to explain what he was going through and risk her thinking him insane. He wondered how people treated his mother when she was going through this.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” Sandra said, feeling the tension radiate from Andy. Looking at his face closer now, she deducted that he must not be a terrible guy. He wasn’t unattractive, but was extremely socially awkward. She silently hoped he wasn’t some new Jeffrey Dahmer wannabe.
“No, you didn’t make me uncomfortable,” Andy told her and half-smiled at her. “I have some issues. Would it be okay to just leave it at that?”
“Sure,” she said. “For now.”
They continued walking until Andy saw his motorcycle in his driveway. “This is me,” he said, gesturing. He noted that he had not encountered the shadow for the duration of their walk together. Does it only come when I am alone? he mused.
“Niiiiiiice,” Sandra said with a pur. She was staring lustrously at Andy’s motorcycle. “I’ve walked past this bike a few times and every time, I find myself struggling not to drool.” She looked like a schoolgirl in love.
Andy smiled widely. “You like motorcycles?”
She looked at him pointedly. “Do I like motorcycles?” her voice was dry. “Does a crackhead like crack, do you think?”
Andy blushed and looked down at his feet. “Well, you know where I am if you ever wanna go for a ride.” He put his hands in his pockets. He, too, felt like a schoolboy in love.
Sandra started to walk away, back in the direction from which they came, and called over “Maybe I will take you up on that, weirdo!” and then she was gone, jogging down the road.
Andy stood there, standing at his driveway, for what felt like an eternity, looking forlornly in the direction that Sandra went. Eventually, he turned and went back into his apartment.
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