Warning:

This episode has physical violence through bullying. 

“Welcome home,” Bryan said curtly.

I didn’t respond.  This house wasn’t my home anymore.  Home was where you were safe and loved.  My house was hell on earth.  It would never really be my home again.

“Your mother is out for some socialite dinner.  The men are hungry, so you need to cook dinner. We stopped by the store today so you should have enough ingredients,” Bryan instructed me briskly. “From now on it will be your and or your sister’s job to cook meals and serve the men. Do you understand?”

“Yeah, I get it.  I’m to be your maid,” I said bitterly.

“Just go do as I have instructed,” Bryan grumbled, rolling his eyes as if to say “teenagers.”

Sulking, I went to the kitchen and began preparing dinner.  Bryan had been right and there were plenty of groceries in the kitchen.  At some point Summer joined me and I threw together a simple meal.  Once it was completed, Summer and I went to the basement where the men had made themselves comfortable.  Serving as quickly as possible, Summer and I didn’t talk or make eye contact with anyone down there. Ruben caressed my backside when I returned to collect the plates.  Stiffening, I saw the wicked gleam in his eyes and had to force myself to say nothing. 

“You cooked a good meal, Kitty,” he told me with a smirk. “Maybe you have potential to be more than just a pretty face.”

Resisting the urge to spit in his face, I turned and left.  I slept early that night, which was lucky because I woke early to Bryan ordering me out of bed.  Apparently, I had to make breakfast for the men.  Summer still slept, I resentfully noticed, as I trudged downstairs. 

“We don’t need two cooks for breakfast.  Just keep it simple,” Bryan ordered, leaving me in the kitchen.

The next few months passed by in such a fashion.  I was woken early to cook everyone breakfast.  Then I attended school or returned to my room to sleep, depending on the day.  Summer and I served dinner and Peter helped with the dishes.  The men themselves appeared always busy planning and talking.  Sometimes they would stay in the basement all day and other times they would disappear for days at a time.  Abuse came in a variety of forms from physical to verbal to suggestive sexual. No one tried to rape Summer or me after Ruben, but the touches, looks, and suggestions told me it was on some of their minds.  None were more persistent then Ruben.  He would appear soundlessly behind me, wrapping me tight in his arms, caressing my body with his hands.  His lips would trace my neck and shoulder, teasing my senses.  That was when he was being nice.  If I fought him, which I did nine out of ten times, he would strike me.  His “punishments” were severe and heavy handed, but he kept them on my body, in places that were easy to cover up.  Bryan had forbidden injuries to visible parts to help us escape suspicion at school.  That didn’t stop Ruben from tripping me when I served meals and making up any lame excuse to “punish” me.

It became a regular battle: Ruben kissing me and I fighting him.  Ruben brought out my anger, unbridled and unfiltered.  I refused to be submissive to anyone, especially him.  Yet it was not only my pride that motivated me.  My siblings were a source of strength as well. Conveniently, my dad worked more late nights and attended more conferences, so he was rarely home.  My mother became ridiculously involved in every charity, organization, and event that was possible. Some nights she did not come home either.  When she was home, my mother never said anything.  Her mood was much more solemn.  At home she was jumpy and snapped at the slightest thing.  The more time passed, the more she and I seemed to be fighting.  I don’t know what came over her, but she became vicious towards me.  I didn’t know what I did but she seemed to be mad at me for some reason. 

So, I had to be defiant and strong for Summer and Peter.  I worried the most about Peter.  Being small for his age put him at a disadvantage.  The men would mock and tease him, pushing Peter around.  I often found new bruises on his arms and back that hadn’t been there the day before.  None of the soldiers ever did it when I was around.  They knew better. Once or twice Peter’s teachers even stopped by the house to talk about Peter’s changing behavior. Originally Peter had been outgoing and mischievous.  Now he was sullen and quiet. Every time I found a new bruise, I wanted to kill the soldiers.  I hated every one of them for hurting my brother. Some nights I would have Peter sleep in my bed to keep an eye on him.

Summer fared better than us for the most part.  She was lucky enough to have soccer, school, and her biological parents to escape to.  Thanks to this she was often busy and, when she was home, Summer could make it upstairs without being noticed.  I hated how easily she slipped by the men.  Every time I walked into the house, they were on me like white on rice.  Not that Summer didn’t suffer.  She attracted the attention of Hank.  Hank wasn’t as aggressive as Ruben, but he wasn’t shy about his feelings towards her.  When Summer was home, Hank would make excuses for Summer to be near him.  If they were in the same room, he would just stare at her.  She told me that it was really creepy.

“He’s nice enough,” she sighed after one of these occasions. “But he just stares.  He rarely talks but gets mad if I try to leave.  I just hate it! Ugh!”

The men all noticed too, and they loved to tease Hank whenever Summer was in ear shot.  His ears would turn pink and he would hang his head, though his eyes would be locked on Summer.  If I was around, I would step in his line of view, so he could not see Summer.  I didn’t like his eyes being trained on her so much.

Like Hank’s eyes for Summer, Ruben’s eyes were always fixed on me.  Yet my eyes were always on Arkon.  He rarely acknowledged me after our long talk; I always felt a tweak of irritation when I would smile or say hi and he’d just blink and go back to whatever he was doing.  I was confused.  Arkon told me that he wanted to protect me, but he didn’t even seem to like me.  It drove me crazy that I was starting to like him.  His beautiful blue eyes would just hold me captive. 

The sinister voice would appear at my door every once and while but to my relief it never came when Peter was with me.  It would just call my name and promise that it would come back.  At times it would enter my dreams and cause such horrific nightmares. 

I tried to stay with Kristy or Maria on various occasions, but if I was gone too long the men would freak out.  They would interrogate me about where I had been and what I had been doing.  It was all I could do to keep from screaming.  I had no privacy. 

David was no better.  Since my “accident” he was always at my side.  He tried to do everything for me: carry my books, buy my food, open my locker, and so on.  It was annoying.  When I would tell him to stop, he would look like a whipped puppy.  Because David was always around me, so were his friends and Ramiro.  I could always feel Ramiro’s gaze on me.  It would send shivers down my spine. Ramiro’s hot and cold behavior confused me.  I couldn’t tell if he liked, was indifferent, or hated me.  That is until one day when his feelings became vividly clear.  I blame him for the next series of events that occurred, although it probably would have happened even without him. 

The night before had been rough at home.  Ruben had found me cooking alone and we struggled. After I slapped him twice hard as I could, Ruben picked me up and threw me up over his shoulder. Screaming, I hit and kicked him as he carried me out of the kitchen.

Tiger stopped in the hallway.

“Man, can’t you wait till after dinner,” Tiger complained seeing me on Ruben’s shoulder. “She is making fajitas tonight and I love her fajitas.”

“Mind your own damn business,” Ruben barked.

“Let me go, you bastard,” I screamed.

“Shut up!” Ruben swung me around, so my head hit the wall.

Holding his hands up, Tiger allowed Ruben to pass.  I began screaming again.

“Scream all you want,” Ruben growled.  “Bryan and Arkon are out for the day.”

Taking me upstairs, Ruben kicked open my door then shut it, throwing me on the bed.  Scrambling to the wall my bed pressed against, I looked around for something to use as a weapon.  There was nothing.  Grabbing my ankles, Ruben dragged me to him. Kicking out, I fought like crazy, calling him all the names I could think of. Throwing himself on top of me, Ruben pinned me with his body.  Air knocked out of me, I gasped.  Ruben took hold of my face and kissed me passionately.  His mouth was almost as heavy as his body. Anger and desire heated Ruben and I felt him stir against me.  Wiggling, I attempted to free my hands to hit him.

“You can resist me all you want,” he murmured, his lips brushing against mine.  “You won’t escape me.”

“You disgust me.  I hate you!” I hissed back, eyes flashing with anger.

“I know, but I don’t care…”

Kissing me again, Ruben moaned a little. 

“You don’t need to worry, Kitty, I’m not going to do more,” he chuckled, kissing my neck. “You are going to give yourself to me one day. I’m just playing with you now, so relax.”

“Bite me!” I spat.

He did.  Yelling, I struggled harder.  He hit me in the stomach, enough to wind me again, but not enough to bruise me. He rolled over, pushing my back against the wall. Nuzzling his head in my chest, Ruben sighed.  Skin crawling, I didn’t dare move.  This was new. What was he doing?

“Hmm, you are cuddly,” he whispered, eyes closed. 

“What?” I asked startled.

“Cuddly.  You are soft and warm.  I think we’ll stay here.”

“What?  Are you crazy?”

Stroking my hair, Ruben gazed into my eyes.  There was an intensity there that was unlike his usual lust.  It scared me even more.

“I don’t always want to beat you and kiss you.  Sometimes I just want to hold you.”

“N..n..no…”

“You don’t have a choice.  How don’t you get that?”

Taking my two wrists in one of his hands, Ruben pulled my arms down and straight.  Placing his face in my chest, Ruben sighed.  Struggling, I wanted nothing more than to be free from his presence. 

“Stop or else I will beat you,” Ruben mumbled.

Freezing, I felt torn.  I didn’t want to do what he told me, but I also wanted to avoid a beating.  The closeness and intimacy of our position made my skin crawl. As hypocritical as it sounded, I preferred Ruben when he was being brutal and vicious. After a while, Ruben’s breath steadied, and I saw his eyes were closed.  Sleeping.  Carefully I tried to pull my wrists free.  His grip tightened and a delicate smile appeared on his face. 

“I want to sleep with my kitty,” he whispered tenderly. 

Gulping, I fell still.  After a while I began to doze off.  Night had darkened my windows when I woke.  Ruben still slept.  No one had woken us.  Delicately I pulled my arms free.  Biting my lip, I lifted my body up to crawl over Ruben.  Suddenly Ruben threw his arms around me.

“Don’t go, Linda,” he said, his voice sleepy. “Drills can wait a little longer.”

Linda?  Who was Linda? Ruben’s eyes flickered open and stared at me.  For a moment, Ruben appeared confused, then angry.  He slammed me against my bedroom wall and kissed me hard, almost painfully. Crying out, I curled up into a ball in self-defense.  Room was too limited for me to properly defend myself.  Abruptly Ruben stood and left. Confused, I had trouble sleeping the rest of the night. 

Lack of sleep resulted in slow mental functions the next day.  Ruben avoided me during breakfast, and no one said a word about the fact that Summer had cooked dinner.  At school, I barely paid attention and I decided I needed time to myself.  I would walk home so I could be alone.  Arkon still was out of town to my knowledge, which meant I would be alone during the walk.

Taking extra time to help a teacher, I made sure the halls were clear of my friends and peers.  At my locker, I slowly packed up my backpack, pondering what Ruben had said.  He had sounded loving and kind when he said the name Linda.  Was it an ex of his?  It had to have been someone special.  A presence appeared behind me, making me pause and then turn. Ramiro stood behind me.  Frowning, I raised an eyebrow at him.

“Yes?” I asked slowly.

“David thinks he accidently left his notebook with yours when he carried your books today,” Ramiro said.

“Oh, let me see,” I said, turning back to my locker.

Slid between several of my notebooks and textbooks I found David’s notebook.  My name was scrawled on the back cover along with a strange eye-like design. Shaking my head, I turned back to Ramiro, forcing a smile out of exhaustion, and handed him the notebook.  For a moment time stood still, then Ramiro’s left hand clasped around my neck.  Before I knew what happened I was up against the locker, on my tippy toes.   I gasped for air.  The spiral slipped from my fingers and clattered to the ground.  My hands were pressed against the lockers behind me and I was trying to get a better standing.  Sneering his fist tightened and I wheezed as I felt pain in my neck.

“I told you never to give me that fake smile,” he growled.

My eyesight went fuzzy and my brain seemed to be stopping.  All I could see was his horrible smile.  The more I struggled and gasped, the more he smiled.  The sick pleasure was palpable on his face.

“You seem to be having trouble breathing, dear Eri,” he chuckled as he again tightened his grip.  “Whatever is the matter?”

I managed to focus an angry look onto Ramiro which made him laugh.

“My dear Eri, I must say I do not like David hanging around you so much.  It bothers me. You are going to tell him to get lost.  If he doesn’t listen, you are going to just ignore him.  Tell him you have a boyfriend.  I don’t care but come up with something. Be creative.”

A whimper escaped my lips as I felt his fingers dig into my neck; his nails were very long for a boy.  Snickering Ramiro lifted me up a little, so my toes were barely touching the ground.

“Do you understand?”

Gasping I couldn’t answer. 

“Understand?” he snarled his smile disappearing, replaced by an even worse look.  Ramiro looked as if he could have killed me on the spot. 

“Y…es…” I rasped barely able to get the air out.

The floor was the next thing I saw.  I hit it hard and cried out in pain.  Air was filling my lungs and I was shaking.  Getting to my hands and knees, I tried to steady my breathing.  I could feel him looming over, watching as I struggled to breath.  Slowly I went to stand when he grabbed my hair and chucked me back against the lockers.  I made a loud clanging noise against the metal lockers.

“Stay down until I leave.  A woman should never be at the same level as a man.  She should always be lower,” he told me in a matter of fact voice.

“Go to hell,” I snarled, looking up at him in outright defiance.