Lucifer kicked the door to his and Ferek’s cabin open, sat at the table, slammed his head down onto his arm and screamed. Ferek burst in through the back, sword drawn, brows furrowed. His mask hid his expression, but slumped his shoulders and nearly dropped his blade seeing it was just Lucifer. He took off his mask, frowned, and sheathed his sword.

“Please never again scream like that.” Lucifer glanced up at Ferek, then back down. Ferek sighed. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t like it here.” Ferek sat down and placed a hand on Lucifer’s shoulder. “I thought it would be different here, ya know. We’d heard that Berkan takes all kinds, that it’s the hub of the world, and everyone’s accepted, but no matter what, people see you and just we must be strange and bad.”

“Hmm. Doesn’t bother me.”

“But….”

“I’ve accepted that I'm different. I grew up as a half-blood and soft-skinned Horimir. I’ve dealt with it my whole life, and I’ve earned every ounce of respect in Amostarri that I can. People here are fools if they don’t see that, so I’m not bothered. Why are you upset?”

Lucifer lifted his head, tears in his starry eyes. “But you…”

“No. I’m fine. Don’t tell me how to feel. What is bothering you?”

“Why don’t I feel normal?” Lucifer asked, quietly, looking down at the table. 

Ferek shrugged. “Let's see. You’ve become fluent in another language, you tried discarding your mask, and you spend all your time seeing what else you can change about you to abandon Amostarri.”

Lucifer  tried protesting, but Ferek stopped him. “Just because you’re finally around people that look like you won’t mean you’re one of them. I should know.” Ferek unsheathed and placed his sword on the table. “Before I met you...before I met Seraph even, only two people made me feel like I belonged. It was my teacher who taught me how to use this sword, and my friend who’s blood runs through this blade.” Ferek blinked away a tear. “My teacher was a Faver, yet he loved Amostarri.”

“What about your friend?” Through all of their years of travel, Ferek rarely, if ever talked about it before he met Seraph. 

“She was a full blooded Horimir of course. How else would her blood be in the sword? They’re both dead, but in a way, their love is what keeps me feeling like I’m enough as is.” Ferek gazed longingly at his sword, lost for a moment. “I feel like you’re losing who you are here.” 

“What if I never liked who I was?” 

Ferek reached across the table and gripped Lucifer’s face, forcing a smile. “I don’t know about you, but I see you as the bright eyed, optimistic kid who would do anything to protect his friends and family.”

“But…” Lucifer averted his gaze. “You know I’ve been…”

“That’s not you. What you do to survive is not who you are.” Ferek scoffed. “How much do I need to remind you that it was you who decided to come with us. Seraph and I may have made it so you have a choice, but you still made the choice to be who you want to be and be with who you want to be with. She had…”

“Don’t.” Lucifer growled dangerously. 

“Fine. My point is, you’ve already made your normal. If Gust can’t accept that, leave him to me.”

“I wasn’t even talking about Gust.”

“Sure you weren’t.”

Lucifer leaned back. “I was invited to a party.”

Ferek raised a brow.

“A get-together. A lot of people gather and socialize, and I want to go. It’s this weekend. It’s at night. Can you come with me, and then we can walk back together.”

“I would, but I finally have a job for this weekend.”

“Oh. I guess I’ll go with you.”

“No.” Ferek said firmly. “This one might be dangerous. I can handle myself. You should enjoy yourself. I mean enjoy yourself. How’d you get invited to this one anway?”

“Well. Gust’s friend is really nice and she invited us.”

“So go with Gust.”

“But he....”

“He’s not so bad, I think.” Ferek shrugged. He did get you home safe before. I’m surprised you went with him and didn’t wait until morning. I’m sorry I overreacted before.”

“Gust was who made me upset.”

Silence lay between them for a moment.

“But,” Lucifer continued. “I think I haven’t been honest with him with who I am too. I think I could stay with him overnight again too.”

Ferek smiled. If you’re ready, I have something of yours for that night.” Ferek stood up and rummaged through the kitchen drawers.

“What is it? Lucifer asked, tilting his head and wiping his tears.

“I told you, you tried to throw out your mask.” Ferek smiled. “It feels weird sharing your face out with everyone else, doesn’t it?”