Chapter Five - Is This Even Real?
“Aliza,” a soft and feminine voice wakes me from a deep slumber. “It’s time to go. We have found somewhere for you to stay tonight - with this really nice couple, okay?”
Everything is a little blurry as I sit up and face her. I am still half-asleep. I don’t know who is speaking to me, or what they speak of. I let them take me out of the building and walk me to a car parked along the fire lane. I fall asleep again as soon as I am seated inside.
The next time I wake, I wake fully. My driveway is right there, beckoning to me. I shiver and I am so terrified that I cannot move. “Don’t worry, he’s not here,” a voice says.
I break my gaze from the driveway and see Nancy, her big eyes boring holes into my soul. The tears come unprovoked. In my mind, images flash of me entering the house and hands coming down hard on my face. I tense until my stomach hurts. “Are you sure? How can you be sure?” I am panicking. “Why are we here anyways?”
She takes my erratic questions in stride. “We’re here to get your things and I am sure because your father was arrested today. He can’t hurt you anymore.” She holds me tight.
I’m still terrified of the thought of my mother upon entering the house. I fear she will punish me severely for what I have done. I fear this will be the place I always return to.
But still… I walk hand-in-hand with Nancy up the driveway and she knocks on the edge of the screen door. The actual door is never closed. We don’t own anything of value, so why should it be? My mother comes to the door only moments later, her face puffy and red.
“Oh Aliza!” She cries and embraces me. I am so shocked that I pull away from her. She glares at me for a millisecond and then buries her face in my hair. “I am so sorry, my baby girl, if I had known…”
I am disgusted. I shove her away from me. “You did know, liar,” is all I say as I storm towards my bedroom. She is left there, mouth agape.
Suddenly, the space feels foreign to me. The items in the room seem as though they belong to some other young girl. I pack my clothes into a black trash bag quickly, as well as a few other miscellaneous items. Sadly, there is not much to pack.
We leave swiftly, without acknowledging my mother, who calls out to me desperately. She screams for me to stop telling “fibs” and to come home.
Every time she speaks, Nancy wraps her arms a little tighter around me until we are back in the car.
We pull into a driveway with blindingly bright lights along the sides. A handsome, elderly couple stands embracing each other at the bottom step of the porch. The porchlight seems to cast a halo over their heads and I smile, for a moment.
Nancy, the ADA, walks me over to the couple. It’s especially humid out and I feel my clothes clinging to my skin. I feel like I stink and suddenly I feel self conscious. I turn my face into Nancy and shield myself from this couple that looks so proper and perfect.
“Hi Aliza, my name is Ginny and this is my husband Ron. So you’re going to be staying with us for a while, huh?” The woman speaks to me in a manner that is almost timid, however, her hoarse voice surprises me.
I don’t answer her. Instead, I look down at my torn and dirtied converse against the lush greenery. It’s not what I am used to seeing when I look down - usually bland and brown, dirt or sand everywhere and the occasional tuft of crabgrass. I don’t see even a little here.
“It may take some time,” I hear Nancy say. She touches me on the shoulder. “Aliza, it’s okay. You don’t have anything to worry about. But I will give you my card anyway. You can call me anytime you need to.”
I panic as I realize she is leaving. I grab her and hold on tight. I begin to cry. I hardly know this woman but already she has provided me with more than anyone in my life ever has. She lets me sob on her for a minute and pries me off. “I’m sorry,” I sniffle and wipe my nose with my wrist.
“No worries, doll. Let’s get your things from the car.”
“Okay,” I say and follow Nancy back to the police cruiser, where my things are in the trunk. She carries everything for me and we head back towards the couple. They hold open the front door for us. I hesitate at the threshold, overwhelmed by the smell of cinnamon and vanilla. The entryway is neat and clean, with a small table for snacks. There are figurines everywhere of gnomes and elves and fairies. My smile comes unexpectedly.
“You like the elves?” Ginny asks me. “I have been collecting them my whole life. I think they are just adorable.” I notice her heavy country accent.
“Yeah, they’re cool,” I say and finally allow myself to smile in her direction.
The day's events are a blur when I finally settle into bed. Ginny and Ron have a twin-sized guest bed upstairs with the softest blankets I have ever felt. They give me space to get ready for bed on my own, reassuring me that they are at my beck and call. The ceiling is covered in plastic, glow-in-the-dark stars. I wonder to myself if this is too good to be true. I wonder if this will last and for how long. I wonder if, in the end, I will be sent right back where I came from: hell.
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