Nara was walking through a misty place. She was struggling to stay standing, and could see nothing ahead of her through the haze. She stumbled, and fell heavily to her knees. But it didn't hurt much. She fell in something soft, and a cloud of the mist rose up. The only pain she did feel was coming from her hands. She didn't have to look at them to know that they were bleeding. She was too busy staring at the figure that had materialized from the mist. 

A boy. Tousled brown hair, brown eyes, wearing a thick wool cloak. It was Gaijan. But the younger version that she always remembered him as. He was looking at her with surprise. Then he came forward once more, and she felt an amazing and terrifying force try to break out of her and destroy the boy. She felt the pain in her hands increase, and she realized that she was digging in her fingernails as hard as she could to stop the power, to keep it under control. 

To not hurt Gaijan. 

The pain grew and grew, and crept up her arms, into her chest, throughout her entire body, until she felt nothing but the pain. She was pain.

But then she felt something else. A cold feeling. Gentle. It was fleeting at first. On her arms, her face. Then finally enveloping her. It cut through the pain, and she was aware of other sensations. She felt a wetness on her face. She realized that she was making loud sounds, and she closed her mouth to cut them off. The cold sensation spread all over her body, and the pain finally disappeared.

Nara opened her eyes. She was sitting on her bed, in her room that Gaijan and Eyish had given her. Gaijan was sitting beside her, his strong arms wrapped around her, holding her close to him. She was shaking uncontrollably, and she realized that the wetness on her face was tears, and the rawness in her throat was from her screaming. She looked down at her hands, which had fresh blood welling up from new cuts. She felt new tears roll down her cheeks, and she began to sob wordlessly. 

Gaijan's arms tightened around her, and he began to rock her back and forth rhythmically. She cried like that for quite some time, not knowing what had just happened, or why she was so deathly afraid, holding her bleeding hands to her chest. All the while Gaijan held her, not saying a word, just letting her cry herself out. 

Finally she had no more tears, and Gaijan pulled away and went out the door, coming back a few moments later with a handkerchief and a damp washcloth. First he wiped her face clear of tears, then wiped the blood from her hands and performed a healing spell as before. Then he sat there beside her on the bed. Nara wanted so badly for him to hold her again.

"You remembered something from before," he said. It wasn't a question, but she answered it anyway.

"Yes." Her voice was hoarse from her screaming.

"Tell me." She told him about walking through the hazy place, falling, seeing the younger him, then the awful power trying to break out and destroy him.

"Is that what the talisman is controlling?" Her fingers found the small lump at her throat where the talisman lay just beneath the skin.

"Yes."

"What is it?"

"I don't know exactly."

"Please Gaijan, I need to know. I'm tired of not being able to remember anything."

"I thought that it would be easier for you to remember on your own. But if every time you do remember, something like this happens... maybe it would be best to tell you." Gaijan paused, still looking at her with concern.

"I want to know." So he told her. As he spoke she had flashes of memory of what had happened. Him finding her in the forest. Offering his help. The other magicians coming. The power breaking loose. Gaijan using his magic to contain her own. Most of all she remembered herself wanting to die. But he hadn't killed her. Just locked her away safely until he could release her. She listened in wonder as he told her of all the places he had been to try to find something that would help her. He mentioned his promise to her many times. Her heart filled with gratitude to this man that had given up so much just to help her. 

But she also felt fear. Her power had almost killed him, had almost killed all of those magicians. And she somehow knew that there was more destruction that she was responsible for than just the burned forest. Gaijan's story ended with freeing her from the crystal.

"The rest you know."

"What happened after, yes, but still nothing from before you found me in the burned forest." Nara sat there, trying to remember, but it was useless. Maybe if she went there. Went to the burned forest, maybe something there would jog her memory. "Gaijan, I feel that I must go there. I need to remember. Everything." He nodded solemnly.

"We'll leave the day after next."

The next day at breakfast Nara didn't feel like eating at all. She felt bad about it, Eyish had gone to so much trouble making hash-browns and pancakes, but she could only force a few mouthfuls down.

"What is the matter, Nara? Don't you like my cooking?" Eyish's tone was joking, but when she looked up she saw real concern in his eyes.

"I'm just not very hungry. I'm sorry."

"No need to apologize, I just wondered if something was wrong..." Eyish looked at her expectantly. But before she could say anything, Gaijan spoke up.

"Nara had a nightmare last night," he explained. "A bad one."

"What? I didn't hear anything..."

"That's because you sleep like a log, and snore like a thunderstorm."

"Watch that cheek, Gaijan, it could get you into trouble!" But Eyish was joking again. Nara liked to watch the back and forth teasing of this mentor and apprentice. It made her feel at ease for some reason. But the feeling she got watching them didn't reach all the way into her heart, which was still heavy from the frightening images from her nightmares and the anxiety about finding out what it was that she had forgotten.

"All joking aside, Eyish, Nara's nightmare was about what happened before I encased her in crystal. She remembered back to when I first met her on that quest."

"So you're making progress! I'm glad to hear of it."

"Yes, I'm making progress, but it was... not pleasant. Not in the least."

"Nara wants to go back to the forest. Maybe something there will help her to remember all of it." Eyish's face showed concern once more.

"Are you sure you want to go back there? If your nightmare was so disturbing, what makes you think going to the real place will be any less so?"

"I don't know what will happen, but that's just it. I'm sick of not knowing. Not knowing anything about your past... you don't know what it's like. It's like a piece of me is missing. But I don't even know what it is."

"I can understand your frustration. But maybe you just need to let it come naturally."

"I don't want to wait anymore." She knew that Eyish was trying to talk her out of it, and she turned to Gaijan for support. "Gaijan, you said you would take me."

"I did, and I will, if that is still what you want."

"It is."

"Then, like I said, we will leave tomorrow."

To be continued...