Ryder's POV
I take one last deep breath as a knock comes banging on the door.
Everyone else had left for work hours ago, and wouldn't be back for another several hours so I had plenty of time.
My heart races a bit as I head to the door.
"Yea ready to go," Patrick asked with a smile when I had opened the door.
"I guess," I say with a shrug as I follow him out of the door before locking it behind me.
"We still don't have to go," Patrick said gently. "She'll understand if you need to take a day to yourself."
"I know she would," I say as I take another deep breath. "But I want to see her." Patrick only smiled again as he led me down to his car.
This had pretty much been our routine for about week or so now. After everyone left for work, Patrick would come by and drive me to see my mom.
I had told Callum that I had been going on walks rather than to see my mom, which he seemed happy about. The only reason I didn't tell him where I was actually going was because I knew he would want to come meet her but I knew it would only make us all feel worse.
She wasn't doing well when I first went to camp but she was well enough to send letters every now and then. And then, some way down the line, the letters just stopped coming.
Patrick kept assuring me that she was fine and that he checked on her often but I knew she wasn't well. It was a lot different when you saw her up close though.
"How are you doing today Ryder," Nancy asked kindly when we walked into my mother's room.
Nancy had apparently been my mom's nurse ever since she got checked in here. She was a surprisingly very nice lady.
"I'm doing pretty good. I think the better question is how is she doing," I said as I came to sit in my usual chair beside her bed while Nancy finished with her vitals.
"She's still doing good. She's still in her coma though but her brain is still active so that's still good news."
"She should have gotten her results last night. Has the cancer spread any more?"
"It hasn't but the treatment isn't working. Her doctors are planning on changing things soon." I only nod as I took her hand in mine.
When I was little she used to sit with me, watching nearly every movie known to man. Her hands were always warm back then but now it was like holding onto an ice cube.
"You feel like waking up today?" I asked after Nancy left the room while Patrick stood silently in the corner.
"Jax let me get some new movies yesterday. We only got to watch one because they all insisted on saving the others so we don't run out of movies. They're weird like that."
"Liam's doing better I think. He found a new friend at work. We haven't got the chance to meet him yet but if Liam likes him, he must be a pretty cool person."
I wait for her to answer but I know she won't. Every now and then her heart will go up by just a few beats before returning back to her resting heart. Since she can apparently still hear me I like to think that when her heart rate goes up, it's because she's talking and it would be rude to interrupt her so I wait until she is done to say anything else.
"Callum got his first pay check a few days ago. Jax didn't want me to but I bought purple pans with his money. Jax and Liam should be getting their first checks in a few days so that will be nice. I think Jax said we are going to get some plates and silverware with some of his check while Liam's will go straight to savings so we can pay rent next month with his. Or it could be the other way around. I don't really listen when he talks about budgeting; it only confuses me more."
Her heart rate goes up higher than before. I assume she's making a joke about my math skills.
For a while I just watch her.
She looks so peaceful. Like she's just asleep, not trapped in a coma as her body slowly shuts down.
I don't know how long I end up staying there today but after at least an hour I force myself to stand up.
"I'll be back tomorrow," I promise as I leaned down to give her a kiss on her hand before placing it back down on the bed.
"You ready to go?" Patrick asked as he stands up too. I only nod as I bite my lip while walking out of the room.
"I want to have dinner cooked before everyone gets home tonight," I say once we get out of the hospital.
"What are you thinking about making?"
"Liam bought home some weird casserole thing the other night. It's supposed to be one of those pre mad, just put in the oven things so I'll probably just try and not burn that."
"That sound like a good plan. Mary is working late at camp tonight so I'll probably bring her something before I go in for my shift at the station," he said as he got into the car and began driving us back to the apartment.
"Have people moved into our cabin yet?"
"Only one guy, which is kind of sad. He stays in there by himself almost all day. He only really comes out for food and class. Andrew is even having a hard time making him go to therapy."
"So basically Jax if we hadn't been there," I say, not being able to hold back a smile at the thought of old Jax.
"Pretty much but I think he tolerates people less than Jax, if that's even possible. Mary is hoping to get him a roommate soon though. We are hoping a roommate will help."
I only hum as I notice Patrick slows the car down. I almost ask him why before I see that we are in front of the apartment.
"Same time tomorrow," he asked as he put the car in park. I only nod as I stepped out of the car with a sigh.
"Same time tomorrow."
Carter's POV
I swear I was about to kill a child.
After meeting Bram last night, I had expected him to pretty much always be anxious all the time, probably quiet and shy, but this child was the exact opposite.
He had been talking almost non-stop since we got up this morning and it was starting to drive me crazy.
'Hey Bram,' I force myself to say in a calm voice. 'Remember how we talked about you and your habit of talking too much?'
'And how it makes you feel like murdering people,' he asked cheerily as he stared at me, his brown eyes going wide.
'Yea just like that. You're making me feel like that right now so I need you to take it down a few notches.'
'Oh right, sorry,' he says as he frowns a bit as he leans back onto the couch.
I bask in the silence as I watch Jax design something. I had no idea what the person asked for, but the design itself looks good either way.
'Why is this couch so hard?'
'Oh my god.'
How you doing back there Carter, Jax teased as he held back a laugh.
'I'm getting you back for this at lunch and dinner so just you wait. You aren't fronting after dinner so get ready for it.' Jax only laughed harder as if he didn't believe me.
'I don't know why the couch is so hard,' I say just before Bram could ask his question again. 'It was like this when I got here.' Bram didn't seem to like my answer but he turned back to the screen with a frown.
The silence actually lasted for more than three seconds this time.
I had let myself relax onto the couch, my first smile of the day slipping onto my face. I honestly almost forgot he was here until I heard him take in a breath like he was about to say something else.
'You know what's really cool,' I say before he gets the chance to.
'What,' he asked, his eye going wide with excitement.
'There is a whole house here. Not to mention the woods behind the house. There are so many cool things back there. I wish I could go back there more often but I have to be here if Jax needs me. Can you go for me and tell me how everything looks?'
'You want me to go out there,' he asked hesitantly as his eyes went to the door that leads to the rest of the house.
'Only if you want to,' I say with a shrug, honestly a little disappointed. I was really hoping he was going to leave me alone for three seconds.
'I don't want to,' he said as he moved a bit closer to me on the couch.
'That's fine,' I huff out as I forced myself to take another deep breath as he slid in even closer, only a few inches lay between us now but he goes back to being quiet so I don't bother moving away.
I think I might try eating lunch today, Jax said teasingly. We both knew he wasn't getting anything down, he was just being an ass.
'Oh is that so? I'll remind you of that when Dayton comes back with lunch and makes you eat before you can do anything else.' Now Jax is the one pouting, making me smirk a bit until I feel something resting on my shoulder.
'Okay, yea, no,' I say as I stand up, making him almost fall onto the couch until he catches himself, his brown hair falling into his face. 'That's not going to work. Don't do that again please,' I huffed out with a small glare as I go to sit down on the other side of the couch.
'Oh, sorry,' he mumbled out as he curled up into the couch, his eyes slowly growing more tired. Thankfully he was asleep only a few minutes later.
In all seriousness though, are you okay?
'I never knew I hated kids so much,' I admit as I rubbed my face. I was trying. I might have been failing, but I was trying so hard to keep my cool around him but he was starting to get on my nerves.
Do you want to front when he wakes up? I can handle him for at least a few minutes.
'I was being serious before. I can handle him for now but don't expect to front for the rest of the night when we get home.'
I can deal with that.
'This is going to be exhausting. I don't know if I can do this every day.'
We see Andrew again tomorrow. We'll see if he has any ideas on how to help or at least see if he can ask his DID specialist friend if he has any.
I only nod as I take another deep breath.
If it makes you feel any better, you're doing a good job with him. He seems to like you.
'It doesn't help but thanks anyway.'
Last updated June 25, 2021
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