Jax's POV
"You need to do something about this," I say as soon as I get to Andrew's house.
Carter had convinced Bram to leave the front room so I could talk to Andrew without making Bram feel bad but Carter had to go with him. Now that neither of them were here, I was about to go off.
"He's driving me insane," I say as I play with my fidget that Andrew gave me back at camp. I had finally found it last night when I was putting up the last bit of my junk and I've pretty much been playing with it all day just to keep myself from blowing up at Bram.
At first it was fun to tease Carter about having to entertain Bram but now he's learned to broadcast his sentences and I now realize how much he talks.
And the worst thing was, he's not a bad kid. Carter and I just aren't kid people. I can't talk for Carter but I've never been around kids before so I assume Carter hasn't either. Bram wasn't bad but we didn't know how we were supposed to deal with him.
"What happened," Andrew asked with a frown as he pulled out my folder like always.
"He won't stop talking and I can't focus when he does. And he keeps fronting at work on accident. If he does that when I'm in the middle of a tattoo and he makes me ruin it, I'm going to be pissed. Not to mention the fact that I still feel weird. My brain is still moving slow. Things went back to normal for like three seconds and then just in these past few hours, it went back to going in slow motion. I thought it would stop now that Bram's here."
"I think you need to take a deep breath before you freak out."
"I've been taking deep breaths all day," I say, trying to keep myself to calm, "It's not fucking working."
"How does Carter feel about him?"
"We haven't got to talk about it much but he feels about the same. I wouldn't be surprised if Carter left him on their walk around the inner world."
"Has he fronted in front of the others yet?"
"No, I think Callum scares him a little bit but that's not the problem. I need him to stop talking all the time." Andrew frowns again.
"This is going to make me sound dumb, but I honestly don't know. I haven't been to an inner world and I'm not a DID specialist, I don't know what's possible up there. If the problem were out here though I would say get him things that he enjoys. Maybe let Ryder or Liam take him shopping since Callum scare him. Maybe letting him front more at night will help him not front as much during the day."
I wanted to cuss him out at his answer but I knew that wasn't fair considering I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing either.
"Maybe it's time to see a person who has actually helped someone with DID before," he said hesitantly, making me glare at him. "I can set up a meeting with one of my friends. He can help you figure it out more than I could."
"I don't want a new fucking therapist. We already talked about this. I haven't changed my mind."
"I would still be your therapist," he assured with a small smile. "You aren't getting rid of me that easily, but you could see Seth maybe two or three times a month. He would just be helping everyone get along and thrive." I still glare at that. I wanted to just tell him no but I knew Andrew wasn't going to let me off with that answer so I shrug.
"I'll think about it but is there literally anything you can think of? I don't want to have to go to anyone else if at all possible."
"Maybe have Carter entertain him more during the day. Like keep taking him on walks and things like that. Find positive triggers for him and only have those things at the apartment. It might help him learn that unless there's a reason, he should only front at home, at least until he understands how to not force front."
"I guess Carter could also try to keep him off the couch when we aren't at home since we can't front if we aren't on the couch," I say with a small sigh. "I just wish he could have been more like Carter."
"To be fair, Carter had been helping your whole life. He already had everything figured out when he decided to let things come out. Bram will get there, he just has to learn."
"I seriously hope he's a fast learner. And what about me still feeling weird? Is this just how things are now? I just have to deal with living in slow motion now that there are three of us?' Andrew bit the inside of his cheek. He knew exactly what this meant; he just didn't want to tell me. "Just spit it out already."
"It could mean that another alter is trying to come through," he said hesitantly.
"Are you serious right now? It took 11 years for someone other than Carter to pop up and now, less than a week after Bram, we'll have another one?"
"Your mind is seeing that you're stressed and it's trying to help but it doesn't know how so it's just sending in new alters to help make the stress go away." Fucking fantastic. "I know it isn't ideal for you but the new alter could end up helping with Bram so don't dread it all too much."
"I wasn't stressed before Bram showed up though. Why would he just pop up?"
"We all know that's a lie," Andrew said a bit rudely. "You just came out of camp, literally everyone is stressed. I'd be a lot more worried if you weren't. Maybe talking about the stress will help relive at least a little bit of the stress and ranting about it might make you feel better?"
For a second I consider just getting up and leaving but with the concerned look Andrew keeps throwing at me, it was hard to just leave him hanging like that.
"Money is a big one I guess. We never had money with my dad and it always freaked me out because I never knew if I we would get evicted that month or if we were going to have to skip meals because there was no food. I know we'll be good for the rest of this month but next month is kind of freaking me out.
"And I have never wanted to punch people this much before. It's like I just don't have patience anymore and I don't if it's because I'm picking up Carter's anger along with mine or if I'm just getting pissed off a lot easier now. I'm honestly a little worried that I'm just going to end up beating the shit out of someone for no reason at this point." Andrew hummed as he thought over my words.
"Have you ever considering getting a punching bag? It would be better than hitting a pillow or someone's face."
"Yea I've thought about it but the good ones are all expensive. My dad got me one before. It should still be at the house but it was like $200 and we don't have that kind of money to spend right now."
Andrew's frown returned as he tried to think of a way out of this problem while I had an idea pop in my head.
"Wait, what if we went and got the one from my dad's?" Andrew's eyes went wide at my question before he started shaking his head.
"That's not a good idea. Going back there could end up setting both you and Carter back. I do think getting the bag would help though. Maybe Callum and Patrick could go get it one day and bring it back."
"If one of my boyfriends is going then I'm going to. It would only make me freak out more if I knew they were going without me. And there are some other stuff I want from there too and I'm not sure exactly where they're at so I can't just tell someone to find it." Andrew's frown deepened.
"I can't make you do anything you don't want to do and I can't keep you from doing things you want. If you want to go bad enough, then you will regardless of what I say about it, but if you're going to go anyway please take my advice with you.
"Take everyone with you. Callum, Liam, Ryder, Patrick, and if you are okay with it, I would love to come as well. Don't try to fight off any alter who wants to front. Keep an eye on Carter, if he starts freaking out, leave the house for a little bit and come back either in a few days or a few hours, depending on how he feels. Don't spend a lot of time there. Get what you want and get out."
"So what day are you good to come with us?"
Liam's POV
"How was work," Jem asked as he walked beside me while we walked to the apartment.
"Not great. People are assholes."
"Oh you're one to talk about being an asshole. You were an asshole to Devon for 6 months before you started tolerating him."
"Well yea, but Devon was an asshole to me first. I was just out playing him at his own game." Jem only hummed, mostly because we both knew I was more of a jerk to him than he was to me. "Do you want to come in today? I know Ryder would like to meet you."
Jem sighed as he shook his head.
"Not today. I need to get back. I left Barrett in charge and I'm afraid of what I'll see when I get back."
"Why would you do that? Barrett is good with guns and drugs but he's never been good at running things."
"Because Devon is in Texas and a few of these new guys won't get anything done if someone's not leaning over their shoulder so that left me with Barrett."
"Why is Dev in Texas?"
"Don't worry about it," he said with a shrug as he sped up. Classic 'Jem is avoiding something' move.
"Did something happen in Texas or something," I asked with a small glare.
"I said, don't worry about it," he says harsher this time. "It's not your problem anyway."
"Just because it's not my problem doesn't mean I can't hear about it."
"We're done talking about this. Remember our deal. I'll stick around as long as you don't start getting sucked back in. So drop it." I can't help but scoff a bit.
I knew Jem wasn't bluffing about leaving so for the sake of him sticking around I let it go for now.
"I still want you to meet my boyfriends at some point."
"Who do they think I am? I know you aren't always the smartest person in the room but I'm sure you didn't tell them I was your old boss," he teased as he pushed my shoulder.
"They think we work at Target together. I also told them your name was James since they all know who Jem is." I have to stifle a smile as Jem cringes at the use of his real name.
"Lovely," he said with a small scoff of his own before he stopped walking. I had just noticed that we were already outside of the apartment building. "Well this as far as I go. I might not be able to walk with you tomorrow so don't just stand outside for too long waiting for me."
"I still don't see why I can't just have your number."
"You know exactly why," he said with another glare. "If my phone gets tapped by another gang or even the cops and they see I'm talking to you again, we're both in deep shit." He rolls his eyes as he turns around and starts walking off. "Stop being stupid."
I wanted to be the one to get the last word but he was already too far gone by the time I turned back to him.
Fucking prick.
Last updated June 25, 2021
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