The night crept up on Isaiah and Nigel, what with all the work they put into unwrapping, unboxing, moving, arranging, and re-arranging. Once they were done for the day, they had just enough energy for a warm shower and a cup of tea, then fell into bed heavy as lead.
That night, Isaiah had a dream. Except it wasn’t really a dream, rather a memory invading his mind.
He was behind the wheel of a car, driving down a dirt road through the countryside. The memory was so vivid that he could practically feel the leather on his hands as he observed the rolling hills and greyish-blue skies through the windshield. Eventually, the road terminated in an unmarked dead-end. Isaiah stopped the car, pulled out the ignition key, and turned to the passenger seat. A bespectacled man, just barely in his twenties, was sitting there, with neatly trimmed hair and a hint of a goatee. He turned to face Isaiah, looking slightly nervous.
“Ready?” Isaiah asked, and the young man nodded.
They got out of the car and began to walk towards the horizon. All around them was raw, untouched nature, lush fields of grass and rugged rocky outcrops. A chilly breeze swept across the landscape; Isaiah could even feel it on his skin. He turned around towards the car: the road they’d driven down stretched infinitely into the distance, not a hint of any human settlement anywhere in sight. It was the perfect place for a nature retreat.
After a leisurely walk, the two of them reached a particularly secluded spot nestled in between two big boulders. Isaiah sat on one of them and encouraged his companion to do the same. The young man took a moment to observe his surroundings, and then sat down. The two of them were now facing each other.
“So, Doran,” Isaiah said, “how are you feeling today?”
“It’s a good day, I guess,” he replied, turning his head to the side. “I haven’t thought about killing myself yet, so that’s a positive.”
“Have you been doing the things we discussed earlier, to enrich your life?”
“I’ve been trying to, yes. I’ve been reading a lot of books. Taking walks in nature. Making an effort to see my family and friends more often. I’ve even started cooking a bit.”
“And how do you feel during these activities?”
“It’s… alright, I’d say. I still get oppressive thoughts from time to time, but they start feeling more like intrusions, and not something that I’m obsessing about constantly.”
“That’s very good to hear,” Isaiah said as Doran smiled meekly. “Have you told anyone you know that you’re in therapy?”
“Not yet,” he mumbled. “I’m gathering the courage. I’m still scared to bring those two worlds together… the messy one that’s inside my head and the real one around me. If that makes any sense.”
“It does. You’re dealing with some serious and dark thoughts, and you’re worried that people are going to start defining you through those thoughts if you share them. But if your family and friends love you, and from what you’ve told me there’s no reason to doubt that, then they will react with comfort and support. You won’t have to rely just on me to help you when things get rough.”
Doran turned his head again and his gaze drifted off into the distance. A breeze blew from the direction he was staring at and into his face.
“It’s weird,” he said, stifling a laugh, “but when the wind touches my skin… I feel so alive for some reason.”
“Would you like to take a walk now? Enjoy the scenery?” Isaiah offered. Doran nodded, and they went for a stroll.
Walking behind Doran, Isaiah soon came across something that caught his attention. It was a rock. He picked it up. It was heavy in his hand yet shaped and sized well enough for his fingers to grip it properly. It was perfect.
With quiet steps, Isaiah approached his unsuspecting victim from behind.
“I don’t think I’ve ever truly thanked you for all your…”
Doran didn’t get a chance to finish the sentence. With all his strength, Isaiah planted the rock into the back of his head. His victim immediately yowled in pain, the shock of the impact causing him to fall to his knees.
Isaiah grabbed him by the collar of his coat and forcedly turned him on his back. He was now lying on the grass, looking up at Isaiah with an utterly terrified face.
A fraction of a second later, Isaiah was kneeling on him, gripping his neck with both hands and pressing tightly on his windpipe. Doran gasped loudly, clearly trying to call for help, but no sound could come out. His hands were desperately flailing around, trying and failing to push Isaiah back or loosen his grip. It was hopeless.
Isaiah was focused on Doran’s face, not losing sight of it for a moment. It was impossible to describe, torn between the horrifying realization that he was experiencing his last living moments and a crushing sense of betrayal that someone whom he trusted deeply was now doing this to him. It filled Isaiah with a deep joy, a warmth in his chest that started spreading out into the other parts of his body.
That’s when he woke up. There was no startle or anything like that – he just opened his eyes and returned to the waking world. Outside, it was still pitch dark. Nigel’s deep breathing was the only sound that could be heard.
Isaiah closed his eyes and tried to comfort himself. He’d had a ritual worked out by now, a set of lines he would repeat in this situation. The dreams were nothing new for him – he was almost getting used to them now.
As he attempted to go back to sleep, he suddenly heard something else. A voice whispering directly into his mind.
“I miss you.”
Eyes wide open and staring at the ceiling, he could hear it repeated like a broken record. He sat up carefully, so as not to disturb Nigel, and then slowly crept out of bed and into the living room. He slid his hand under the sofa and pulled out the photo – he managed to hide it there when Nigel left him alone in the room during unpacking. As he held it once more and stared at it intently, he could feel the same presence hovering around it, insistently repeating the same three words. His concentration was abruptly broken by a light filling the room from behind him. He turned around to see Nigel standing in the doorway, holding a night lamp.
“Care to explain to me why you’re sharing a midnight tryst with that photo you thought I didn’t see you nick?” Nigel said calmly.
“This?” Isaiah scrambled. “I just… thought it looked nice, that’s all.”
“Isaiah. Darling. Spill it.”
Isaiah sighed deeply, then spoke up.
“The moment we walked in I could feel a presence here and it led me to the photo…”
“Of course! Here we go!”
“What?”
“How many people do you know that got retired at age 35?” Nigel asked. Isaiah just stared at him blankly.
“There’s men and women out there who would kill to not have to work another day… and yet you can’t seem to let go of your job even when you don’t have to do it anymore!” Nigel cried out, his voice caught somewhere between frustration and concern.
“Nigel,” Isaiah said lovingly, trying to douse the flames.
“I’m sorry if I’m coming off harsh,” Nigel pulled back. “But Isaiah… You’ve done so much during your time in service. I’m sure there are officers who haven’t done half as much in their entire careers. And you’ve suffered for it. A lot.”
Tears welled up in Nigel’s eyes and his voice cracked ever so slightly. “Need I remind you how much you suffered?”
Isaiah just stood there in silence, not knowing how to respond.
“I know you always want to solve every mystery and help as many people as you can,” Nigel continued. “That’s part of why I love you. But darling… Don’t you think that you deserve not to think about it anymore?”
“I’m sorry,” Isaiah replied.
“But?”
“How do you know there’s a ‘but’?”
“We’re married, you twat.”
Both of them chuckled.
“Look…” Isaiah said, looking into Nigel’s eyes. “Just this one. And then I’ll stop. I promise you. Have I ever broken a promise?”
“Never. Another reason why I love you so much.”
“Then you have my word,” Isaiah assured him. “Let this be my last case. This… This is something important, I can feel it.”
Nigel walked up to him, kissed his forehead and took him into a comforting embrace.
“Time to go back to sleep then,” he said. “You need to rest if you’re starting an investigation tomorrow.”
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