Chapter 19

I saw Woojin sitting on the right side of the classroom and naturally headed for the desks on the opposite side. I took a window seat, turning my head out to the trees on campus. The cherry blossoms were beginning to bloom. Spring was fully here now.

As much as I dreaded turning around, I could feel Woojin’s eyes on me. It made me think about how it had gotten like this for us. This awkwardness. I wanted to remain friends if only going up to talk to him didn’t get more and more difficult by the day…

“Good morning, everyone,” the professor said on her way in.

The lecture began right away, and I no longer had the luxury to let my mind go astray from anything else besides nineteenth-century gothic literature. I probably would have to go another day of having no contact with Woojin. Although it wasn’t exactly deserved, I found myself in a state of relief for now.

Three hours later, the professor finally dismissed us. This was my only class for the day, so I decided to use the time before work to grab some lunch and a coffee. However, it seemed things would be going on a bit of a different course today.

“Yura Seonbae!” Woojin called as I rushed out of the classroom.

I ignored him at first, pretending I hadn’t heard him amongst the voices of the other students. But the second call couldn’t be so easily ignored. Out in the emptying hallway, Woojin tapped me on the shoulder.

“Seonbae…” he started, his breath heavy from his haste to catch up with me. “Are you busy right now?”

“No,” I replied immediately, not having it in me to create a lie on the spot. “Um, what’s up…?”

“I was wondering if we could grab lunch together.”

“Oh.” My voice came out as neither interested nor uninterested. It was just a sound to be used as a replacement for my lack of reaction. To hide the silent panic growing inside of me.

In a lowered voice, Woojin added, “And I have some things I should come clean to you about as well, seonbae…”

So, this was it. The moment I had been dreading for days. I knew I would have to confront Woojin sooner or later. I had been hoping for later. However, I gave him a nod, to which we headed for the school cafeteria.

After getting our respective trays of food, we began eating in silence. It was clear on both of our faces that we each had something we wanted to say but struggled to find the right timing.

Should I let it all out now? Or should I wait until after lunch? Those two questions circled in my head as I barely managed to swallow any of my food within this tense atmosphere. I eventually put my chopsticks down and took a deep breath.

“Woojin—”

“Seonbae.”

We looked at each other from the coincidence, only to immediately bring our eyes back down to our trays.

“You go first,” I said before Woojin could.

He let out a long sigh. “Okay, seonbae. I feel I should explain…about my friend.”

“Eun.” His name slipped out without a second thought.

“Yes.” Woojin took a few bites of his food to buy some time before his next words. “Eun and I went to the same high school. We were in the same class for all three years. He’s my closest friend.”

“Okay,” I replied, listening on attentively.

“Nothing ever went on between us other than being friends. Eun just has a tendency to say a lot of things he doesn’t mean. I apologize on his behalf for creating any misunderstanding.”

I wanted to take Woojin’s words as the sole truth, so I hated myself for not being able to bring myself to it. The small pinch of doubt rang its voice louder and louder, pointing to Woojin and Eun’s faces during those short few minutes at the cafe. The former had looked too hurt and the latter too honest. I didn’t know what or who to fully believe, but I would try my best to be on Woojin’s side. He was my hubae after all, while I knew very little about Eun.

Despite still having questions, I wanted to settle things here and move on from this conversation. The goal was to stay close friends with Woojin. Just friends.

“So, how was the class today?” I asked.

Woojin seemed taken aback by the sudden shift in topic, though his expression quickly softened to that of relief. “To be honest, seonbae, it is getting harder. There’s that quiz next week.”

“Do you maybe want to study for it together?” I offered in an attempt to better our seonbae and hubae relationship.

“That would be great actually. When are you free?”

“Well, I don’t work on the weekends. How about we meet up at a café this Saturday?”

“Yes, that sounds good.”

Woojin smiled, and I naturally smiled back. It was like everything returned to normal. We would put what had already happened behind us. The only direction to go from here was forward. And I was already looking forward to the weekend.

. . .

Woojin didn’t stop by the café later today, not that he was obliged to or anything. But it did feel weird working the Monday shift without him sitting a few seats away as he routinely had been doing since the semester began. He said he had a team project due for next week and had to meet up with his group members this evening.

It was ten minutes before closing when a familiar silver-haired boy entered the café. Living up to his name, Eun had changed his lower lip piercing from black to a somewhat tamer silver stud.

“Yu-a, righ’?” he asked, looking straight at me amongst the other workers behind the counter.

I subconsciously took a step back. “Yes, that’s me.”

“Can I speak with ya for a sec’?”

A million questions arose regarding why Eun would be here at my workplace so out of the blue. I took a deep breath and tried to stay rational. This had to be about Woojin. But what aspect of him, I wondered.

“I’m about to get off work,” I said. “Could you give me a few minutes?”

“Sure thin’. I’ll be waitin’ outside,” Eun replied before stepping out of the café.