“W-what you do you mean I’m lying? Honestly, I’m fine.” Said Saul, as he slowly backs up.

Jonna immediately grabs her pen and notepad and writes. Saul was frightened for a moment as she seemed not only concerned about him but also angry as well. She was inventively writing in her notepad as she turned a few pages over and write some more. Saul could barely tell what she’s writing until she stopped and showed him what she wrote as she bookmarked her finger a couple of pages over.

“You may lie with your mouth but your eyes say otherwise.” She wrote.

“W-wait wha-“

Before he could speak again, Jonna shut him up but covering his mouth and moves on to the next page.

“I can tell. Your eyes are like mine. Clouded, never seeing the light for what is it, always keeping to yourself.” She wrote.

Saul was stunned by what she wrote. It was enough that he felt like it was choking him on the inside.

“I would know. I lived with the same look I had when I was with Jaune. Always looking out for the ones you cared only, trying to be positive for them, even if it cost of your own happiness or what little sanity you have left. Even Jaune could tell what was wrong with me and he was still young enough to be barely walking at the time when we’re living off of the streets. He knew deep down I worked so much just to support us both. So don’t think just by saying that “you’re just fine” when really, you’re not. You’re just lying to yourself and those around you. It takes one to know one. Now, tell me what is really with you.” She wrote.

Saul was left speechless. He couldn’t find the proper words to respond to her. How could he? She got him neck-deep like she was chocking him with only her words on paper. Saul tightens his grip on the bench itself. His emotions were swirling around like a storm to fear, to anger, to sorrow, to panic, and looping itself around. Does he tell her the truth? How can he? If he does, it’ll reveal that he’s a human. He has to come up with something before he spills the beans that he’s human. Well, it’s not exactly a lie if he told some form of the truth. Right? Saul took in a deep breath and spoke out.

“The truth…. The truth is….. I hate being in hospitals.” He said as he hesitates.

He clenches his fists as the pain in his arms resurfaced and sends a shock of pain throughout his body. He starting breathing heavily as his emotions were jumping back and forth as the memories were jogging back into his eyes as he begins to freak out even more. Slowly he raises his hands up as he began to grip his hair until he felt a touch on his cheek. He looked up and see Jonna leaning in close to him with a frown on her face. Saul wanted to say something but was cut off when she shoved her notepad in front of him as she wrote:

“See what I mean?” she wrote.

Saul was just lost for words. What should he even say? A lie can’t fool her. He could tell if he did tell a lie to her, she would know and be pissed off about it. Jonna’s glare felt like she trapped him in a corner as Saul was leaning back far enough to be at the bench’s edge. Panicking, Saul still struggling to come up with anything until Jonna smacked on his head with her notepad. Suddenly a lot of his stress went away but he still breaths heavily. Jonna then took out her notepad and begins to write.

“So don’t just be lying to me or to yourself when you’re lying that you’re “fine” but you’re not. Understand?” She wrote.

Saul looked down as she got him good. He can’t lie to her now because she would know that he’s lying to her. However, but he could say or do anything else, Jonna pulled him closer as he finds himself on Jonna’s lap of all things. Confused and becoming a bit awkward about this sudden action. He wanted to lift himself up from this predicament however, once he did, Jonna slams her fist on his head telling him to stay. Now he was trapped by her in intent. Whether it was her good or bad intention was something he couldn’t figure out. He was uncomfortable and awkward about the situation itself but Jonna seemed like she was not having it with him and is making him stay whether he wanted to or not.  Then again, he images that most desperate guys back home would only dream or would kill to have the pleasure of having a lap pillow treatment. Saul, on the other hand,  was not enjoying it.

But then, he felt Jonna’s hand stroking his head. Saul blushed a bit since the last time he has experienced this was with Miyoko. But the way how Jonna was stroking his hair, made him feel rather at ease. It felt somewhat familiar but soothing. It seemed like she has done this a lot beforehand. A lot of his intensive memory that was flashing before him were now fading away. He felt calm, collective, and oddly at peace. Even though he’s against doing the lap pillow situation he can’t turn away for the effort she’s doing for him. Well, that and she’s pinning him down with her other hand so he wouldn’t get back up even if he could. But now, he still doesn’t know what to tell her exactly. Just then, she stopped stroking his head as she wrote in her notepad. Saul thought he could get out of the situation and tries to lift himself up only to be smacked again by her once he lifted up his head. Jonna then stopped stroking his head to write in her notepad. She kept on writing and then she showed what she wrote to Saul.

“I understand that whatever you’re going through may not be a pleasant thing to experience but you cannot simply ignore either. I understand that you wish to keep it bottled up or even buried to the point no one will ever find it. You might try to forget it, but “it” forgot about you. I could care less about whatever excuse you might think of tell me why you’re pretending to be “alright” when really, you’re not. So go on, keep lying not just to me but yourself that you’re “fine” or Sod off of whatever lame excuse you can come up and keep at me clean on what’s really been bothering you because even I have limits to my patients.” She wrote.

Saul clenches his hand tightly. Left with no choice, he had to come clean but even still. What should he even say?

“I…. wasn’t lying that I hate being in hospitals. Before I came here, I was staying in another hospital for something…. Stupid that I did. I won’t get into full detail of what I did to get me into a hospital but, it was really hell for me. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t walk or even eat for days. I was in there for about a month but it all felt like a whole year. But then again I shouldn’t exactly complain about it since it was my own fault that I was stuck there.” He said as he still hesitates to speak even further.  

His body began to shake as memories of him lying in the hospital bed were resurfacing as they flash back and forth from memory to reality. He could even feel like he’s wearing the straight jacket around his body even though it’s been gone for months. He begins to hyperventilate again as his body was shaking out of control. What even is real to him anymore? Visions of the “incident” flashed back and forth to his eyes as he saw doctors using a defibrillator on him all while shouting CLEAR to him sending shocks to his torso. Another of him falling down from a great height and crashing down to water until he felt a hand touching his cheek. He panted as he could barely breathe at all. Then Jonna took her notepad and wrote but she didn’t write much on it for all it said:

“It’s okay, let it out. And I’ll be here.” She wrote.

Saul clenches his fists again as the pain resurges in them to the point it hurts him just by doing it. But didn’t care for it as his eyes begin to overflow with tears and he begins to cry on Jonna’s lap. He couldn’t hold back his emotions anymore, he cried and cried for nearly an hour on Jonna’s lap as she comforts him on her lap. After relieving all of his emotion, Saul fell asleep While continues stroking his head. The more she looked at him, the more he reminded her of Jaune when he would cry every night back in the Eastern City. Nightmare of their father beat them both during his drunken rage and always wondering where’s the whiskey when he drank them all but wants more regardless. Hell, he even sleeps like Jaune would after he cried out his emotions then sleep on her lap to relax. He may not be Jaune, but Saul is like a new little brother she has to look after now. He did his best to look for her, time to return the favor.