Carter's POV
My nerves began to pile up as Andrew drives us closer to the new therapist's building. I had been up front all day purely because Jax was tired of living in slow motion for the third week in a row and because Bram didn't want to front in front of Callum still. I'm just glad that this was our day off this week so I didn't have to work.
I think Jax is kind of mad at me though for wanting to come here. Or at the very least is annoyed but he didn't try to talk me out of it, which made me feel a little better. His only condition was that he didn't have to front any of the time here and that Andrew had to sit in as a guide to what would trigger us in a bad way. I thought that was a pretty good idea.
"Are you ready?" Andrew asked when he put the car in park. I only nod as I stepped out and looked at the building.
It was a lot bigger than I thought it was going to be; it even had two floors. When Andrew told me about this, I thought his friend was going to have a home office like him, not be apart of some therapist mafia.
The inside looked a lot more impressive though. The carpet looked like some expensive design and quality, all of the waiting chairs were brown leather, and the air smelled like old wood and old people. It even had a receptionist desk with an angry looking woman.
I didn't really like it here anymore.
"Why don't you go find a chair real quick, I'll go check us in at the desk," Andrew said gently but before I could say anything else he was gone.
You doing okay up there, Jax asked hesitantly. I know I said I didn't want to front, but I will if I need to.
'I'm okay. I kind of want to go home though.'
Give it a few more minutes. It might be better when you get into the office and away from everyone else.
My knee bounces as Andrew and I wait for his friend to finally show interest in me. I don't even know how long we wait until he finally comes out but I must have zoned out during it because eventually I looked up and saw Andrew talking to a man I've never seen before.
"Ready to get started," Andrew asked with a small smile as he gestured for me to get up. Seth leads the way but just before we step into the office, Andrew gently grabs me by the elbow as he starts whispering. "If it gets to be too much, just say so and we'll leave." I only nod as I kept walking.
I have to admit, the office was a lot nicer; it looked a lot more modern and smelled like lavender. It still had the same ugly carpet but the desk was black rather than the old brown wooden desk that the receptionist desk. The patient couch was a lot like the one in the front room but it was a lot more comfortable.
"Seth, this is Carter," Andrew said as he sat down on the couch with me. "He's the primary protector of their system as well as a trauma holder."
"It's nice to meet you Carter," Seth said with a warm smile before sitting down in his own chair. Seth was a lot better than Dayton, or even Andrew. He was short, no more than 5'5, had barely any muscles, and his eyes held nothing but happiness. If anything happened I would be able to take him with only a few hits and I liked that.
"Andrew tells me there are only three of you right now?"
"Yea, there's me, Jax, he's the host, and then Bram, but I don't know what he's supposed to do."
"And Bram only appeared a few weeks ago? It's a bit uncommon for system of your age to only one alter for so long." I only shrug because I didn't know how he wanted me to answer that.
"How well do you think you three are doing at working together as a system?"
"Jax and I are doing great. He's only known about me for about 6 months but I still think we are doing a pretty good job."
"What about you and Bram? Andrew mentioned that it seemed to be harder for you to get along."
We're getting along just fine; Bram huffed as if Seth could actually hear him.
"It's not great," I admit as my hands start t play with each other. "He keeps fronting when Jax is at work for no reason, he keeps trying to touch me in the inner world even when I tell him to stop, and he broadcasts everything so it makes it hard for who ever is fronting to stay grounded and focused."
I'm not that bad, he huffed out again while Jax stayed quiet, as if he were trying to stay out of the fight until he needed to step in.
Seth only hummed at that.
"And you said he's 12 right," he asked as he looked to Andrew.
"As of right now, yes and from what I can tell, there's no signs of him aging up or down any time soon."
"When does he usual front?"
"Most of the time it's random but some times when the shop gets too loud but he never fronts at home. One of our boyfriends scares him."
"Most of the time child alters form to make up for the time the host lost as a child. They usually don't have any real role in the system past that, but Andrew mentioned that he had protective habits?"
"Almost like a verbal protector," Andrew filled in. "But when he fronts it's like he's too shy to do anything about it."
I could feel Bram starting to get upset but I ignore it as Jax tries to calm him down.
"So building his confidence out here is how we help him thrive, how do we help you?"
"By getting him to understand how annoying he can be some times and how to not front all the time and how to respect boundaries before I loose my shit and teach him my way. That and that I need to continue my anger management therapy."
Seth frowns a bit at that last part as he tries to think around this.
You don't have to be so rude. Bram huffed out again, making me fight the urge to roll my eyes.
'I wouldn't have to be rude if you had listened the first time I told you everything.'
I don't know if you noticed or not but this is kind of my first time being an alter. Sorry if I don't get everything right he first time, he snapped out, I could tell he was trying his best to scowl but he wasn't very good at it.
'Being new and young doesn't give you a free pass to be a dick.'
"Andrew mentioned that another alter could be trying to form. Do you have any thing else to add to that?"
"Only that I want them to hurry up and get here. Having to live like this is starting to take a toll on Jax. I can always front when we're at home but at work, it's really just an inconvenience."
"And what about Jax? How can we help him thrive?"
I'm already thriving, Jax brushed off but we all three knew that was a lie so I answer for him.
"Just regular therapy stuff with Andrew like to help with anxiety and the trauma to help stop the nightmares. Other than that we are pretty good."
"The meds are still working though, right," Andrew asked with a small frown just to make sure that nothing had happened that we weren't telling him about.
"So far the nightmare ones are really good. We haven't had one since camp. The anxiety ones are a bit harder though. They work to an extent but it's like they wear off after a while if we've been anxious all day."
Andrew only hums with a small nod.
"I wouldn't mind meeting Jax, is he willing to front?"
"No, he didn't even want to come here. His only rule was that he didn't have to front here. He doesn't want anyone other than Andrew."
"That's alright," he said with an easy smile. "What about Bram?"
I wouldn't want to be a dick to him too, he said rudely before I even had the chance to ask.
I only roll my eyes as I push him up and fall back at the same time, making him pout as he settled himself into the corner of the couch so he was farther away from Andrew.
"How are you doing today," Seth asked nicely, completely ignoring Bram's pout.
"Carter's mean. I don't like him."
Well I don't like you either so at least we're even.
"He's just a little stressed right now," Andrew tried to reason. "He's not used to having someone else in the system, you know that."
"He's still mean."
"He's mean because you push your boundaries that he has set for you," Seth said not so nicely this time; his voice taking on an authority tone. "How would you feel if he wasn't listening to what you wanted?"
Bram's pout deepened as he refused to answer.
"So you heard Carter and I assume he's told you why you need to do what he says, why won't you listen to him?"
For a while Bram doesn't answer but when he realizes that Seth won't move onto something else like Andrew would, he finally spits something out.
"If they would talk to me more I wouldn't have to broadcast everything. And I don't mean to front all the time and as soon as I realize I'm up front I let Jax have it again."
"And what about the touching," Andrew asked. "Carter says he's told you plenty of times to stop and why."
"I forget," he said with a shrug, making me glare a bit.
Jax only watches the screen boredly, almost as if he was about to fall asleep at any moment but I didn't mind. I knew fronting when a new alter was coming was draining. I had only been up front for a day and I already wanted to take a nap.
Seth frowns at Bram's answer.
"Has Carter told you exactly why he doesn't like being touched?"
"A little," he said with a shrug. I could feel myself tensing; I had a feeling I knew exactly where this was about to go. "He said Jax's dad was really mean to him and Jax and that's why."
"Jax's dad used to hit them. A lot," Andrew said softly. "I'm sure you've probably seen them but all the scars Jax has came from his dad. Now every time people touch them, their skin crawls and it makes them get snappy. Haven't you noticed Carter always gets meaner after you touch him?"
"But he always touches Ryder and Liam," he said with a new pout. "He seems to actually like it when they touch him. I'm just trying to help. Why am I different?"
"Because they've known their boyfriends longer," Seth tries to get him to understand. "And I'm sure there are even times when they don't let their boyfriends touch them, right?"
"I guess, but what about me? I want to be held too sometimes," he whispered the last part as he looked down at the floor.
Both Andrew and Seth frown at that.
"Maybe the new alter will help with that when they get here," Seth said, a new smile on his face. "But until then, you need to try to help Carter. He and Jax are under a lot of pressure right now and they are going to need help when this new alter comes. Someone is going to have to show them around the inner world and teach them everything. It can't be Jax or Carter because they have to be ready to front but you can't do it either if you don't get more responsible. Does that make sense?"
"How long until the new alter gets here? We've been waiting for ever already."
"It's different from alter to alter. Jax's mind is probably still trying to figure out what the new alter needs to be so it's taking longer but it shouldn't be too much longer."
"Andrew's been saying that for a week now," he said with a frown.
"I know it sucks but just think, when they finally get here, you'll get a new friend who can actually help you. But like I said, until they get here, you need to help Carter out a lot or he's going to be a lot more mean without meaning to."
"He can get more mean?"
"He can get a lot meaner," Andrew confirmed, making his eyes go wide a bit. "Why aren't trying to scare you, but you need to know this. Carter isn't very good at keeping himself calm."
"I've noticed," Bram grumbled.
"Exactly. So until the new alter can help, start listening to Carter, try to stay off the couch unless you're at home, and try not to broadcast as much. Think you can do that? Just until the new guy shows up?"
"I can try."
"That's all I'm asking for."
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Last updated July 1, 2021
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