Finally! James unclipped his helmet from his bike, dying to be home. It had been a long-ass day. Maybe he was just irritable from his aching back and skipping lunch, but it felt like people had been eyeing him weirdly all week. At least he had the weekend to look forward to. 

He threw a leg over his bike as one of his coworkers, a white guy in his thirties named Bill, stopped next to him, unlocking the car in the neighboring stall. He peered at James with a knowing grin. 

James looked back and raised his eyebrows, hoping that this conversation wasn’t going to take long. “Yes?” 

Bill leaned forward as if he was about to share a secret. “I heard about you and Silvia,” he said. 

James recoiled. “What? What did you hear?” He blinked fast, trying to force his brain to catch up to what was happening. Did he do something wrong? 

“You don’t have to pretend, she said you guys were… you know.” He smirked. “I didn’t know you were into MILFs.” 

James' jaw dropped. “I’m not dating her if that’s what you’re insinuating.” 

Bill laughed. “Of course, dude, whatever you say.” He gave James a couple of hard pats on the shoulder and climbed into his truck. “I hear older chicks really know what they’re doing. Have a good weekend!” He winked and shut the door.

James inhaled deeply and counted to ten. Maybe he should go to HR, this was getting out of hand. Did his brewery even have an HR department? 

He'd had his fair share of rumors in high school, but this lie made him feel extra dirty.

He reached home, feeling high-strung, dying for peace and quiet, but he wasn’t even one foot in when he was greeted by the low bass thump of gym music. 

Ollie and Connor were contorting themselves on the living room floor in impossibly small neon short shorts– James had boxers that covered more– and crop tops, struggling to do something. James wasn’t sure what it was, but it looked painful. He didn’t know why he was still surprised to constantly find a new person in their space. Connor had been hanging out so much at their place he should’ve started paying rent weeks ago. James swallowed the knot in his throat. Connor had even managed to get Victor to leave the house the other day, and now he was stealing Ollie too?

“Hi?” James squinted. “What - what are you doing?” 

Ollie, who was laying on the floor with his legs up in the air trying to fold himself like some sort of sandwich, rolled on his side and smiled. “Yoga.” 

“Yoga,” James repeated, looking from Connor to Ollie and back like he was watching a fast-paced tennis game. 

“Connor is helping me de-stress, school is beating my ass and I lost my binder again. It’s fun. I’m learning how to be more bendy.” 

“Bendy.” James blinked fast, wondering why Ollie decided that turning himself into a pretzel was more productive than looking for his binder.  “But...” He shook his head. “Ok, but what’s with the… ugm…” James gestured towards their outfits.  

“It helps us be bendy,” Connor explained, straightening his neon green crop top. It said ‘WHORE’ across the front in all caps. 

“Bendy,” Ollie confirmed with a firm nod. 

James was just too tired to understand. Connor was saying something about how he could beat Ollie’s ass too, and James tuned out. He plopped on the couch and Ollie was already next to him, expecting a kiss. James held his face and pecked his forehead and the tip of his nose. Connor was watching them closely, the puzzle pieces were finally falling in place in his head. James felt vindicated. Ollie is taken, you can’t have him! Victor too! Connor forced a neutral expression but it didn’t quite hide the perpetual, unsettling, hungry look in his eyes. Well, that was perfectly fine for James. 

 Connor seemed to want to ask something, but stopped before the words came out of his mouth, his attention shifted instead to Victor, who walked in dressed in baggy dark gray clothes with Freckle around his shoulder like a fat orange scarf. He stopped in his tracks and frowned like he was sucking on sour candy. “Wh–…?”  

“Yoga,” James said.

“Ah.” He paused for a moment to take in the scene. “You look -” 

“Cute,” Ollie offered. 

“Hot,” Connor said, confident.

“Ridiculous.” Victor scratched Freckle’s head. He smiled. “Why are you even wearing those shorts anyway? Might as well go nude. They’re so tiny and that color is sapping my will to live.” 

“Because we want to be cute and hot,” Ollie explained with utter conviction. “Come on, look at my butt.” He rolled onto his side and slapped his ass. “It’s so nice.” 

“Look at it!” Connor added, pointing helpfully at Ollie’s butt.

“Ok.” Victor sighed and didn’t look. He walked into the kitchen and returned moments later with a bag of salt and vinegar chips. 

Ollie squinted at him. “Say it!” 

“Say what?” Victor opened the bag, smiling. 

Of course, James thought, Victor had to add some gasoline over the feral fire that was Ollie and Connor’s combined energy. 

Oliver rolled his eyes and groaned loudly. “That we’re cute and hot, obviously.” 

“Ok.” Victor nodded. 

“That’s not – you’re not saying it. Are you even paying attention?”Olli was outraged.

Connor came to his defense, “You cheater. Classic-you. But it’s okay, Ollie, we’re a work of art,” he said, with a sly look in Victor’s direction. “Victor doesn’t have a skilled eye for these things. Not everyone knows how to appreciate aesthetics.  How pedestrian.”

Victor paused and glanced at Connor, visibly considering whether or not to take the bait. “Ok.” Victor chuckled. A rare smile spread over his face. “I guess I’m more into abstract art,” he said with a playful wink, “my bad.” 

James’ jealousy bubbled inside him again. He didn’t want to be that guy, but he was having issues not being that guy. 

Before he could say anything Connor opened his mouth again. “It’s okay Vicky, I can help you out.” He stretched lithely, his crop top rising nearly to his armpits, showing off his smooth stomach and pink nipples. “I’ll model for you sometime. Teach you a thing or two about appreciating the male form.” He bit his lip, his expression exaggeratedly suggestive, and he was probably joking, probably,  but James felt his blood start to boil regardless.

Victor snorted, looked at Connor up and down, and smiled. “I think I smell something. Sweat? No, I think it’s desperation.” 

Connor bristled, then let out a shout of laughter. “You bitch!” He grabbed a couch cushion and charged after Victor, who dodged nimbly through the door to his bedroom, but not quick enough. Connor disappeared with him and James heard them yelling and laughing.

James got up. “This place is turning into a madhouse,” he complained. He was on the verge of saying something stupid and petty.

“I want to go hang out with Connor and Vic a bit more.” Ollie got on his tippy toes and kissed him, easing his bad mood slightly. “You can join us if you want?” 

“I’m too tired, I’ll go to bed," he answered, deciding it was best to just go to sleep before his brain melted in his head.