"Ugh, where am I now?"

As I opened my eyes unalike from a human one, the first thing that I saw was a green, vast wilderness.

Winds are then blowing in a direction that I don't even know where it locates to.

I then thought to myself...

If this is another dream... then what am I now?

As I pay attention to myself, I then realized that I was moving without using my feet, it was because I was actually carried in a pouch-like place of a...

"..."

"Kangaroo?!"

WHAT?! I'm a kangaroo?! And a joey I suppose...

Well, it's not that I was utterly shocked and confused because of this unpredictable phenomenon, I'm rather very okay with it!

I then got excited now for having to experience a life of a different kind of animal.

Well, truthfully, I can't even count the times that I had a life with other kinds of animals. I suppose it's rather difficult, especially for me since I have a bad habit of forgetting things so easily...

"Not that I could do anything about it either..."

I'm Eligio, and I don't have a last name. No, actually I have.

"..."

Well of course I have! But I don't want and need to. I suppose that it was several years ago, way back for more than 3 years in the real world, but more than thousands of years for me where there were actually some people that have the same last names as me. I don't even remember it now, not even the faces of my parents... Except for this someone that until now, the only one that remains, my uncle that adopted a crazy person like me...  And even so that I had forgotten about it, I at least know that it's useless to talk to oneself when you don't even have a single memory about it...

Later on...

"Chew Chew"

While eating green grass, I then thought to myself...

It might not be accurate, but I think it's already past ten thousand years huh? Well, I think so...

Heaven and hell as it is huh... Not like I can do a thing...

Shocking huh? That it's like this for me, thousands of years... It may be even more than what I thought of as I may not have included the first ones that I had lived on, or so...

"Chew Chew"

I'm just this stupid... I had even forgotten the names of my parents, again and again, each time I wake up after a dream if it weren't for my uncle saying their names to me again and again...

He even thought that I have amnesia!! And what's most is that I recovered from it yet I get struck by it again and again!!

"Chew Chew!!"

This dreaming issue... This is not even possible for a normal brain of a human...

Except for me of course...

But really... Dreaming a dream entirely, with the same senses in the reality, added up by unique ones on each specific being that I had and will become...

"..."

These dreams, can they be even called one? They are more likely to be different worlds...

"..."

Oh well... I should begin throwing rocks in a hole every day until I die... Each rock will be equivalent for a day... But of course, this will be so bothersome because I have a bad memorization skills... Yes, how unfortunate it is for me for all these thousands of years that I had lived to have such ridiculous oppression of a trait...

A complete weakness of this freaking dream issue!!

"..."

As ten years in this kangaroo life of mine passed by,

"MHEEEEEEGHHHH!!! MHEGGGHH  MHGEHG MGEHHHH?!!!!"

SHERLEYYYYY!!! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOUUUUU?!!!!

(Growl!! Roar!!)

DON'T FUCKING SCREW WITH MEE!!! I've been running this whole time trying to avoid being eaten by this freaking tiger that's chasing me!!

Ahh Shit!! No!! So close!! So clo-

"Mhegh!! Mhegh... Mhe-"

"..."

"..."

And I died...

My mother kangaroo, which I called Sherley for no reason, had run away after seeing that tiger...

"..."

Well, truthfully, it's not really her fault. I was separated because I thought that I had found a new type of land...

"Oh well, restart again then..."

Restart...

I started calling this occurrence "restart".

"..."

By restart, it literally means that I'll go back on time and spend years of being a kangaroo again!!

Yes... Yeah... Really...

"..."

I opened my eyes again for the first time but actually not...

"Mheghh Mheghh Mheghh Mhegh!!"

Ugh!! You were kidding me, Sherley!

I literally cried myself off for like 2 hours of going back again... Not that I hadn't experienced these types of situations several, several times.

"..."

Well, what a joey to start and begin with, is what Sherley should be thinking right now...

"..."

Anyways, I had always asked this to myself every single time I got restarted from a dream...

"What is this, really?! Because of this, every time I had lived in these crappy dreams for more than 10 years, I forgot every single thing in my real life, even in that current dream!! I Don't want to call myself "Amnesia Returner" again!!

"Mheghh Mheghh Mheghh!!

Every time I sleep at night, a dream will always come and happen. Sometimes it's heaven, but sometimes it's hell!! Yes, it's hell sometimes, hell mostly...

Hell always!! Experiencing different kinds of horror... I'm not even afraid to die now.

"..."

Well, to think of it now, the feeling of different kinds of hell from then until now is really different from the feelings of the first ones...

"Mheghh"

Shit Yes!! I'll never forget the first one!! It's not like an actual horror from an actual horror movie, But I concluded that as one hellish nightmare!! That happens for many days I think, restarting again and again... I actually don't want to remember it. But it's always stuck in my head.

And it was...

"..."

It was...

"..."

Well fuck... I actually forgot now... Maybe it's not worth remembering for? Haha

"..."

And my stomach suddenly growls...

"..."

Anyways... Sherley's asleep and I'm now hungry... I'll eat grass even if it's already late at night...

"Chew Chew"

Ahhh!! Talking about food, I just remembered the time where I was a freaking t-rex!! That one was an awesome dream!!! Even if I got back restarting again and again because of being eaten by other carnivore dinosaurs as I was still little, I spent my time experiencing hiding and hunting again and again until I was actually the strongest!!

"Mheghh!!"

Living in the Age of Dinosaurs as a dinosaur was one breathtaking experience!!

Anyways, because of restart, some dreams reached 20 to 30 years, sometimes even go to 50 to a whole generation. The longest one is...

"..."

The longest... one... is...

"..."

"..."

Well shit, well shit, well shit, I just got betrayed by myself again... How could I forget the ones that should be the most important to be remembered?! Don't tell me my whole life is just a lie even for myself not knowing a single kind of total past.

Ugh... How to remember... How to remember... How to reme-

"..."

I just remembered it now because of its total paradise.

Ehem... Well, I'll never forget that time where I was a freaking God!!

Yes, a God... I was an actual God in that dream, it's really unexpected that time... And I had lived on that dream just sitting in the skies playing a human-life simulator.

"..."

Well, it's for almost three hundred years in the recorded time included on the thousands of years' time just me playing with some people's lives. Pressing buttons after buttons, choosing paths for each of the persons I was interested in. I even get to watch free... Ehem... Yes, nonstop... Too bad that I can only use this God-like hand of mine, the real right-hand of a God I suppose...

"..."

Anyways, three hundred years. Damn that's already long, but inside that world, is much likely to reach a thousand-year!! I got to see what an actual future would look like, and it's...

It's...

"..."

Well, haha... It's not really an actual future people would think commonly because I just showered them some asteroids... Not that I wanted to but I got bored and wanted to end things, where I thought some conditions might be met.

"..."

But! I let two people survive... I tried to reflect myself to them so I chose a man and a woman who thinks and acts like me, so it is considered that they have the same IQ as mine... But as a bright light up above higher than the skies swallows me, an earthquake then occurred.

"..."

Well, earthquakes are like viruses below the grounds. They just come and go without me even noticing.

Anyways, it was a paradise, that is why I want to cherish those memories because I experience hell mostly...

"Mheghh!!"

Now that I had realized it, it's always like this... If the next dream is supposed to be hell, then I will forget about this dream again...

"Mheghhhh!!"

It's hell!!!

And restarting it is even crazier, especially when I restart after spending like fifty years in it!!!

Restart...

Restarting is caused by different reasons in each dream, though some dreams have common reasons. And death is the most common. Although sometimes, it's the cause of stopping the dream.

Mostly, some conditions that I had not even thought a damn brain cell needs to be met!!

So this means...

"Ugh!!!"

Who the heck did this to me?! Of course, it's God that is toying with me... What the heck did I even do to make me have this? If You were to give it to me, at least give me an equal value of the words heaven and hell!!

I had always tried to realize about the one that did this to me... It's like an actual God that was giving me these dream issues... Playing with my feelings...

Well of course there's an actual God that gave me this shit, there are no other possibilities!!

I turned to the sky and shouted...

"Mheghhhhhhh, Mheghhhh!!!!"

If you gave me this, then at least give this to my face!!

"..."

Or at the very least, an explanation to all of this!! I don't even understand such important things...

All I know is that a dream seems to end sometimes when I die, or when some conditions are met...

"..."

Shit yeah!! When your conditions are met!! You just want to be satisfied huh?!

Yes!! I think so!! That every time you saw me did something that made you satisfied in a certain dream will cause the dream to end as you...

"..."

As you will wake me up!!! Yes!! You will wake me up once you are satisfied!! Why not wake me up once I am the satisfied one?! Sometimes our feelings are mutual, but it's always yours! You... You idiot of a God!!

It's not that I despise or don't respect you... It's just that I don't have anyone or anything to vent my anger. The anger of not knowing a single damn meaning that is connected to what you did to me... Can't you even just give me a response of your voice only? Anything as long as I know a single kind of shit from all of this...

"..."

Do you have personal issues?! Huh?!

"Mheghhh Mhegghhhhhh Mheghh Mheghhh... Mhegh, Mhegh Mheeeeeeeeeeghhh!!!"

Don't include me in your personal issues... You, You Loseeeeeeeeee-

"..."

And... It blacked out... My view just blacked out... It means...

"...."

I was finally back... Thanks Sherley for that whole 10 years, even if you're such a nuisance.

"Huh, you are satisfied after that?! What kind of nonsense...":

"..."

Ugh... It seems I was right again, there really is a God who gave me these shitty dream issues, maybe there were times that He is not in a good mood so He will just vent everything on me, giving me some freaking nightmares...

"Well, I myself can consider being satisfied with experiencing the life of a new animal."

But I was still angry...

That's right, several years ago or so, there were times where I was really angry about a certain dream, I didn't remember even a single memory of it.

"..."

But I am certain that it was a dream because I still remember the boiling rage on myself at that time. Really, this idiot of a God, not telling me a damn thing, letting me understand everything by myself! I of course, absolutely realize that you already know that I can't even remember so damn well, but at least give me answers even if I'll forget it after a month!

"..."

Well, to tell you God... you know that I wrote some things that I try to gather right? Just wait until I can walk with my human feet again for a few minutes and I'll put every single cell of my brain trying to find the truth!!

"..."

He sees everything, I don't even know why this God is very interested in a lowly person who didn't even achieve a single damn thing in his World... I'm nothing but a student without many capabilities in life, yet always stalking me... I know for sure because every time I tried to not sleep at night, God... This God... This freaking God will put me to sleep!! It's like my brain is not my brain after all...

"..."

Anyway, now that I remembered it suddenly, I am immortal in this real world.

Well I can consider that I am one because God will do every thing to change my path, inside or outside the house just for me to be alive, even sacrificing others...

"..."

God, You didn't even talk to me for all these thousands of years. I had always asked you if when will I be finally out of this shitty experience. It's been almost 4 years in the real world, every single day means years, but throughout everything, no answer.

"..."

If this just continues forever, then...

then God,

"At least bring me back to a paradise..."

Where I'll didn't want it to end.

----EVE----