We woke up late the next morning.  Diane was half on the floor, half in my bundle of blankets.  I was leaning over the edge of the couch, ready to roll right onto her.  Dad was sitting on the chair by the couch, sipping his tea while reading a book.

  “Morning.” He said as I groggily woke up.  Diane was also just waking up.  “Sleep well?”

  “Sure.” I mumbled.  I went to stretch, but lost my balance and fell onto poor Diane who was still half asleep.  Falling onto her definitely woke her up.

  “Ow!” Diane yelped right as I fell onto her.  

  “Sorry!” I cried as I rolled off.  “Didn’t mean to fall on you.”

  “It’s ok.” Diane laughed. “You definitely woke me up though.”

  “I bet I did.” I said.  

  Dad chuckled. “I made breakfast. It’s on the stove.”

  “Oh cool. What didja make?” I asked. 

  “Beans and toast.” He replied. “You’ll have to heat up your own toast but I’m sure you're old enough for that.”

  “Oki doki.” Diane and I got up and headed to the kitchen to grab breakfast.  Diane was immediately on the prowl for coffee.  

  “Where’s the coffee?” Diane asked tiredly. 

  “I don’t think there is any.” I replied. 

  “Argh... I’m gonna go over to my Dad’s and steal some.” Diane groaned.  She went and threw on a pair of boots and walked down to her Dad’s place next door.  She disappeared for a couple minutes before returning with a thermos of pure black coffee. She must’ve drank some on the way back because she definitely looked more awake now. By the time she came back, I had breakfast set out on the table for both of us.  

  “Got your coffee?” I laughed.

  “Yes. This stuff is heaven.” She smiled.  She joined me at the table, and to my relief, she didn’t say anything or argue about breakfast.  I could tell she was anxious, but probably after last night, she was trying to hold things in so I wouldn't stress.  

  “So, you doing ok?” Diane asked as we ate. 

  “I’m surviving.” I replied. “I think it’s gonna be a couple days before I go back.”

  “Fair.” She said. “Take your time.”

  “Are you doing ok?” I asked her.  I was curious if she was doing better or not.

  “It’s a struggle, but I’m doing a bit better.” She said with a small smile. “I think as long as nothing too emotional happens I’ll be ok.”

  “Good to know.” I said. That meant I had to be careful about handling Lars.  If something happened where he cut off Diane again, she probably wouldn’t take it well.  I wanted to give the guy the boot, but man, he could be controlling and very manipulative, which made things harder.

  I spent the rest of the weekend with Diane.  We went over to her Dad’s that afternoon, and then went for a small walk as well.  Near the evening, she headed back home while I stayed with my Dad.  He was fine with me staying for as long as I needed.  I was so grateful for him.

  The next day was a work day.  Despite not wanting to, I pulled myself out of bed and got ready for work.  Dad thought it was quite funny to see me in more formal wear.  Normally he only saw me in baggy shirts and jeans.  He kept going on about how cute his little girl was in a button up.  Unfortunately, another thing he pointed out was the massive bruise on the side of my face.  Lars really hit me hard, and it bruised.  It looked like I had a small galaxy on the side of my face.  I tried to cover it up with makeup, but I had no clue how makeup worked, it stung horribly, and knowing me, I’d get it all over my clothes.  So I just hoped my co-workers wouldn’t ask.

  I got to work, and of course, everyone asked about it.  I was dumb to think they wouldn’t.  I just claimed I fell and hit my face on the doorway.  Everyone seemed skeptical believing it.  I didn’t blame them. I had been pretty off since Lars started ruining things.  I just hoped nobody would act upon their beliefs.  My boss was a huge advocate for taking care of yourself, so I knew if word got to her, she would probably give me time off or set up some sort of plan.

  “Hey Robin.”  My coworker came up to me right as lunch break started.  “How are you?”

  “I’m ok.”  I lied.  “You?”

  “I’m doing well.”   She sighed. “Are you sure you’re ok?”

  “Yea, why?”

  “Well, uh…”  I caught her looking down at my arm before looking back at me.  I looked down and realized some of my fresh cuts were just barely showing.  Quickly I pulled down my sleeve and hid them.

  “Cat got me.”  I lied. “You know how cats are.”

  “Robin, people are worried.  Really worried. Now especially with that bruise.”  

  “I’m ok.  Just going through a rough time.”

  She sighed.  “If you don’t want to talk, then that’s fine.  Just please take care of yourself.  And if you ever need help, I’m always open to talk.”

  “Thanks.”  I gave her a fake smile, and she went on her way.  I had a lot of my coworkers come up to me and tell me they were worried lately. Even my boss noticed when this all started and was giving me easier tasks because of it.  Some days she would even send me home because I just looked so tired and unwell. I hated it, but there was nothing I could do.

  Later that day, I was called down to the boss's office.  She said she had something important to discuss. I had a good feeling it had something to do with my well being.

  “What’s up?”  I asked as I entered her office.

  “Feel free to sit down.”  She said with a small smile. I could tell she was trying not to stare at the bruise. “We need to talk.”

  “What about??”

  “Your boyfriend called earlier.”  She said.  “Which I was very surprised to hear.  Normally boyfriends don’t call me, but that’s besides the point.”

  My heart sank.  Lars knew something was up and that I was trying to get away.  So he was trying to get my attention.

  “He brought up the matter that you’re mentally unwell.”  She said grimly. “Now you know I really care about my employees, and I wouldn’t want you working if it was too stressful for your mental health.  Especially seeing as he brought up your past of severe depression and suicidal ideation.”

  “What exactly are you saying?”  I said quietly.  I knew where she was going, but I didn’t want it to be true.

  “I’m putting you on temporary paid leave.”  She said.  “For 6 months.  If you need longer to get yourself in a better place then I’ll give it to you.”

  “What?! But I’m fine!!”  I cried.  “I can work!!  I love it here!!”

  “Robin.”  She gave me a look.  “Everyone is worried about you right now.  Just take the time off and do your best to take care of yourself.  If you ever need any ressources, you know the company will cover them, so don’t hesitate to call them if you need it.  Understood?”

  I sighed before nodding. “Understood.”

  “Good.  You can go grab your stuff and head home early.  I wish you the best.”

  I sighed, got up, and went out to the offices to grab my stuff.  I had a few coworkers come up to me and ask if I was alright.  I told them I was on temporary leave, which they seemed relieved to hear.  They all wished me the best and said if I ever needed anything, to just call.  I said goodbye, and headed to my car. By the time I got there, I was crying. Again.

  My decisions were clouded by what happened, and I made a dumb decision.  I went back to my place by myself, to talk to Lars.  I planned on kicking him out.  There was no way I was letting him back in my life after what he pulled.  I love my job and the bloody nutter took it away from me! Of course I was kicking him out!

  I pulled into the driveway and stormed out of the car.  I didn’t even bother hiding the fact I had been crying the whole way there. I stormed into the house and quickly found Lars chilling on the couch, obviously very drunk. He seemed to think the place was his now by the looks of how much rubbish was everywhere. He saw me and frowned.

  “Whatcha doing here?” He asked with very slurred words.

  “This is my house.” I growled. “And after the stunt you pulled, I’m kicking you out. Get your stuff and get the fuck out of here.”

  “Nah.” He looked away and continued his drinking.  Pissed off, I went over to him and grabbed the alcohol from him.

  “Get. Out.” I hissed.  That definitely pissed Lars off.  His glare went ice cold and he stood up to face me.  

  “No.” He spat. “Why should I?”

  “Why should you?!  WHY?!” I was furious. “Not only have you been an absolute jerk this whole time, but you took my job away from me!!! They put me on leave for 6 months after you called!!!”

  “So?” He glared. “I was concerned. You’re obviously not doing too well.”

  “Gee I wonder why!” I growled. “You weren’t concerned! You just wanted to ruin something else for me!! Now get out!! I don’t want you here-”

  Lars slapped me, cutting me off halfway through my rant.  He slapped me so hard I stumbled back a bit.  My emotions were all mixed up and messy, and I quickly went from angry, to very scared.  The adrenaline I was running off of was gone and I had nothing else to counter back with.  

  “You’re a bitch, you know that?” He growled as he got closer to me. “I was trying to help.”

  “No you weren’t-”

  Another slap across the face. This time, where he last bruised me.  That bloody HURT.

  “So here’s what you’re going to do.” Lars grabbed me by the collar of my shirt and pulled me close to his face.  “You’re going to call your Dad, and that bitch Diane.  And you’re going to tell them that everything is just fine.  That you kicked me out and everything is perfectly fine.”

  “I-” Speaking earned me another slap. My cheek stung horribly now.  I looked at him with tears streaming down my cheeks.

  “Do you understand me?” He got closer to my face.  Shakily I nodded. I had no other choice but to agree. I knew if I didn’t he would probably hurt me. He threw me to the floor and took my phone from my bag.  

  “Until you calm down, I’m taking this.” He growled.  He stormed out to the porch and lit a cigarette as if nothing happened.  I laid there in complete shock for what felt like forever.  Eventually, I had enough energy to drag myself up off the floor and go to my room. The smart idea would’ve been to get out of there, but the minute I got up, Lars noticed. He watched me through the window as I walked to the kitchen and up the stairs. If I had tried to run, he would’ve definitely run after me and that man could easily outrun me. I fell onto my bed and sobbed.  I was too emotionally broken to find a proper way to cope with what had just happened, and ended up breaking apart a pencil sharpener to self harm. Part of me seriously debated just committing suicide.  Thankfully I was able to talk myself out of that one.

  I spent many hours crying about what had happened.  Lars kept coming to see if I calmed down, and when he saw that I didn’t, he yelled at me for being such a baby. Knowing I wasn’t going to calm down anytime soon, he took it upon himself to text everyone what I was supposed to say in the call.  Of course, Diane wasn’t about to just believe that, and asked that I call her.  Lars made me call her the next day when I was so emotionally drained that I didn’t have the energy to fight anything.  He woke me up way too early in the morning and had me call her.  Diane was a morning person, so she was up.

  “Hey!” Diane answered almost right away. The phone was on speaker phone, so Lars could hear everything. “Everything ok?”

  “Um...” I replied groggily. Lars gave me a look and I sighed. “Yea. I kicked Lars out yesterday.”

  “Oh!! Good!” Diane said.  “I’m guessing the breakup is a bit hard on you? You sound exhausted.”

  “Yea, it’s a lot.” I sighed. “But I’ll be ok. It’s life.”

  “Life is sucky sometimes.” Diane laughed.  She didn’t seem to be suspecting anything.  “If you want, you can come over later and we can chill.”

  I wanted to say yes, but Lars was shooting me a glare.

  “I think I’m gonna just have a mental health day to myself.” I said quietly.  Lars smiled.  I was saying exactly what he wanted me to say. 

  “Ah. Emotional eating and living in a bundle of blankets?”

  “Yes, that.”

  “Alrighty.  If you need anything, shoot me a text.” Diane said. “I gotta head to work. Talk to you later.”

  “Yea, see ya.” I sighed. I hung up and looked at Lars.

  “There. See?” He smiled. “That wasn’t so bad.”

  “I’m going back to bed.” I mumbled. I curled up into a ball and silently cried.  Lars took my phone and let me be.  I knew he wouldn’t be giving my phone back anytime soon.  He would probably be using it to keep Dad, Diane and other people I knew off his scent.  It wouldn’t be too hard to pretend to be me over messages.  I was pretty easy to copy.  Just picture how a depressed British girl would text and bam, it’s me.

 For the most part, nobody suspected anything. Lars was doing a great job pretending to be me, and if Diane got too concerned, he would have me call her and lie straight to her face.  I wanted to just tell her the truth and get help, but I was too scared of Lars.  I would’ve also ran away, but I was too scared to do so.  He was keeping a very close eye on me. He was getting very physically abusive, and I was scared he was going to seriously hurt me.  And to add to things, everytime we called, he made sure I was beaten down and tired beforehand so I would be too put down to speak up.  He officially had every aspect of my life in his hands.  I had never felt so lost and alone before.  I wanted out of there, but didn’t know how.

  Life had become very, very dull.  My days became the challenge of avoiding being hit by Lars, and trying not to give into another suicide attempt.  It was becoming my only way out, but I couldn’t imagine the look on Diane’s face if she found out I not only killed myself, but also lied straight to her face about everything.  She had been so terrified the first time I made an attempt.  I didn’t want to scare her like that again.