Starting from when Theo knocked on the door at John’s house, after the heated conversation on his front porch with Jason.

“Theo, you know he doesn’t want to see you. Personally, I think you guys should talk it out… maybe without the violent asshole back there.” Parker quickly pointed his hand at Jason.

“Why is Parker always here when we fuck shit up?” Fenris asked, not hiding the angry jealousy in his voice.

“Stop.” I replied to him shortly, because I really didn’t want to have this argument right now.

“Then let me in. I will be civil. I won’t yell, and I definitely won’t hit. I won’t even touch him if he doesn’t want me to. I just need to talk to him.” Parker sighed, then finally stepped aside letting me walk past. He stayed out on the porch while I made my way to John.

“John can I please have a chance to talk? Just me and you?” I asked still managing to stay calm.

“What more could you need to say?! We just broke up yesterday because you are keeping secrets, which I’m absolutely positive Jason gets to know about it. So why would I want to keep talking to you?” He said in a hostile tone. I winced slightly. Now that Jason had met John, he and I (and Fenris and Geri) could feel how much pain John was in. Emotionally, and physically. I knew he was hurting, and angry.

“We seriously need to tell him Theo. We’re risking losing him for good.” Fenris said.

“Fenris, go away. I need to do this without you in the background.” Fenris’ voice immediately went quiet.

“I… I can’t tell you yet. I want to, I really do. You deserve to know. But there are things preventing me from saying. And the only reason Jason knows is because he’s apart of it. Not because I told him and not you.” I was still confused on how much he already knew, and when he found out…

“Oh so you share the same secret. You know what. You had five months to tell me about it. You had FIVE MONTHS Theo. Not including the fifteen years we were friends before we even started dating. You had so much time to figure out if I was worth sharing this secret with. Which you clearly decided I’m not worth it.” He half shouted at me. I saw the tears in his eyes spill over. My heart ached for him, because I knew how much it hurt him that I kept something from him for so long.

“John please! There’s more to it than me thinking you’re worth telling. There’s so much more to it.” I felt my own tears threatening to fall at this point. “There’s so many people who it could effect if I tell you. It’s not just me and Jason. It’s an entire community of people. We can’t just tell you and hope for the best outcome. We have to have a certain kind of… guarantee…” I was referring to mating him. I stepped slightly closer to him, very cautiously.

“What is that supposed to mean? A guarantee?” He sounded more angry than confused.

“Well… if you’d be willing to sit and talk with both Jason and myself together, we could talk about at least that part.” I knew bringing him into this would be a mistake, but he was just as much a part of this now. John snorted, and gave me a mean glare.

“You must be out of your fucking mind.” He said in a dangerously low voice.

“I’m not. I know Jason wants a chance to talk to you. And since he decided to unceremoniously involve himself, he’s apart of this whole issue now.” I stepped a little bit closer again, putting myself close enough to feel John’s breath on my face. He didn't back away from me yet, that's good right?

“I won’t do it. Not now.” He said, softening his tone slightly. I reached up and place a hand on his cheek. He leaned his face into hand and closed his eyes, causing more tears to fall.

“Please John? I really want to share this part of myself with you because I love you.” It was the first time I’d actually said the words out loud to him. He opened his eyes to look at mine. His eyebrows furrowed, and he pulled away from me.

“You love him too, don’t you?” His tone at it’s saddest now. I felt the tears continue to roll down my cheeks, knowing my answer would only hurt him more than he already hurts. But I didn’t even have to answer, I knew he could tell. And then without warning, his hand met my cheek in a stinging smack. I heard a loud gasp, but I honestly was in shock from what had just happened that I had no clue where it came from.

“You’ve both ruined my birthday enough. Leave.” John said quietly, looking down at the floor. I stood there stunned by his action. I had never expected him to hit me. Suddenly I heard a whine come from Jason, and I knew it was because he was in distress from what he was looking at. But I knew if I moved to comfort him right now, or he moved to come comfort me, neither of us would ever see John again. So all I did was snap my gaze at Jason, silently begging him not to move a muscle.

Thankfully he didn’t move. But before I knew what was happening John was making his way from his bar, full glass of bourbon in hand, down to Jason. I stood paralyzed as I watched their interaction. John leaned in close to Jason’s ear and whispered something, I chose not to listen to, gently patted his cheek, then the one thing that could make this whole thing worse happened. Jason’s eyes flashed at the contact of our mate and John saw it happen.

“I fucking knew it.” I heard John whispered, not moving his hand from Jason’s cheek and staring at him for a moment longer. Then he turned around and came back into his house with a look on his face that I couldn’t quite make out the emotion of.

“Get. Out.” He said with finality. No room for argument. That was it. I walked out of his house, and the second I cleared the door, John slammed it shut yet again, locking it this time. We all just stood there and stared at the door. Seconds later I heard a phone ding, and Parker pulled his out.

“Well. He canceled his birthday party. Told me to just go home, but to make sure you both leave before I do. So get in your car and leave. Now.” Parker sounded defeated. Like he knew everything had just gone to shit, and there was no way to fix it anymore. I did my best to contain the growl that wanted to erupt from me from another man telling me to leave my mate.

I started to panic. I was losing everything. John meant the world to me, and he wants nothing to do with me anymore. All I could see was red. I was hurting, and I was angry. I wanted to make sure I wasn’t alone in my pain… and before I could stop myself I turned around and looked a very scared Jason in the eye and said the one thing I knew he was dreading.

“I reject you as my mate.” He immediately dropped to the ground clutching his chest with tears streaming down his face, and I walked away to my car, got in, and left. I felt the ache in my chest too, from rejecting one mate, and being rejected by the other. It hurt so fucking much. But I didn’t want to acknowledge the pain. I just drove.

“Theo. That was not the right thing to do. And you know it.” Fenris finally came back.

“HE KNEW THE CONSEQUENCES OF BEING THE CAUSE TO US LOSING JOHN!”  I yelled back.

“Theo you are just as much the reason as Jason is. It’s not fair for you to place all the blame solely on Jason like that. You were the one keeping secrets. Jason may have hit John, but you started us down this path of rejection from him and you know that.” Sometimes I really hated how Fenris could be so mature about shit, when I had a hard time thinking it out the same way.

About fifteen minutes later, the reality of what I’d just done had set in, and I could no longer ignore the pain in my chest. I had to pull the car over because it became too much. There on the side of the road, I sat in my car and let the pain take over. I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing. I felt my chest heaving with each sob. I made the wrong decision today. I knew it. It wasn’t a decision I wanted to make, it was rash, and stupid, and a mistake. I needed to fix everything. And there was only one way to do it.

I made my way back to John’s house. As I got out of my car, I could tell Jason was still near by. I could smell his scent in the air. I didn’t search for him though. He was most likely hiding in the woods across the street anyway. I went to John’s door, knocked loudly, and barged in the second the door opened. I closed the door behind me and stared at John.

“Everything is a mess. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. I want to fix it. But I need you to promise me you won’t run away when I show you the truth. Can you promise that?” he never spoke, but nodded his head yes.

“Personally, I think this is the right choice, but you need to be 100 percent sure this is what you want to do right now.” Fenris said.

“I’m positive if I don’t, we WILL lose John. This is what needs to be done.” I replied.

“I’m sorry I hid this from you. It really wasn’t my choice, and Jason and I can both get in a lot of trouble for what I’m about to show you. I just need you to stay so we can talk about it afterwards.” He slowly nodded his head yes once more. Giving him one last long look, I let out a heavy breath, stripped off my clothes, and transformed into my wolf.

***Most of my chapters will only be split in multiple parts so that they fit in the guidelines for Tapas. Doing this may cause some episodes so be signifcantly longer or shorter than others. It's unintentional on my part, but I hope you enjoy the story regardless!***