The rest of the day had been spent showing Kat around the farm and listening to her point out all the cute animals. Some of which were definitely not cute. But I had to admit the distraction was welcome.

Somehow, despite all of my resolve to speak to my grandmother when I had left Edward’s house, the conversation with Ezrah and the distraction of Kat made me avoid the topic altogether. Which is how I ended up eating dinner across from a woman I was lying to.

Kat did make it a bit easier, though, discussing all of the things she saw on the farm and leaving no room for anyone to say anything else. She always was good at that.

When we finally escaped the small talk of dinner, from which Ezrah was mysteriously missing, Kat grabbed my hand, stole some dessert off the counter, and pulled me straight up to my room, closing the door behind us.

“What happened? I thought you were going to tell her after you told Edward but that is not the face of a woman who knows you just exploded your chances of marrying a future king.”

“I was going to tell her, I swear! But then…”

“Then?”

I went to sit on the bed, hoping the change in location would make the conversation less awkward. “Then I accidentally ran into Ezrah.”

“Oh my God, I knew it! Spill!”

“Spill what? There’s nothing to spill, we just talked. I’m still definitely mad.” I wasn’t even convincing myself with this lame attempt at acting. “Okay, I’m still maybe a little mad and also a lot confused,” I added, before she could do more than scoff in my direction.

“So what does that mean? You aren’t going to talk to your grandma because you’re going to stay engaged to Edward?”

“No, that ship sailed. We discussed it this morning and we are not engaged. He basically said if I wanted to date him or accept the engagement, I could do that. But I think it would be too weird now. Like, we were engaged and I broke it off. Dating after that just feels…” I searched for the word.

“Kinda mean?”

“More than a little, yeah. I strung him along once and I shouldn’t do it again. He’s kind of in a position where he needs to find someone, you know? And I’m just not in a position where I’m ready to be that someone yet, or maybe ever. It doesn’t seem fair.”

She nodded, plopping herself down on the bed beside me and laying down. “Yeah, I think you’re right.”

I flopped backwards and joined her in throwing my head onto the pillow of my bed. “The problem is, I still have to talk to my grandmother.”

“And then what? Coming home with me if things go bad?”

Her question caught me off guard and I stared up at the ceiling, not wanting to see her face as I relayed my plans. “No. I’m staying here regardless. There are some things I need to do for myself before I decide what I want to do with the rest of my life. I’ll let you know once I’ve figured it all out.”

I risked a glance at her and saw her eyes fixed on the ceiling, too, as she bit her bottom lip and fiddled with the hem of her shirt.

“Well,” she said finally, “I think that’s a good idea. Do you want me to stick around for a bit as moral support?”

“Yes. But I think I need to do this on my own, no matter what it is I want.”

Kat laughed. “That sounds like the Adelaide I know and love. And I know we’ll be friends no matter what. So if that’s what you need, I’ll be out of here in the morning.”

We spent the rest of the night laughing at ourselves and chatting about everything. There were so many stories we had shared together and this would just be another one in the long list we were sure to have in the future.. I was surprised to find myself glad rather than jealous when she told me about all of the fun she was having back in Greece and the new guy she was maybe sorta dating.

Kat was right. No matter what, we’d be friends tomorrow. And the day after that. And probably forever.

But I was right, too. This was something I had to do on my own.

As Kat’s cab pulled out of the driveway and sped off along the main road, I turned and faced my grandmother, whose hand was still raised as though waving, despite the fact that she was not moving it.

“Grandma, can I talk to you about something? Or, maybe more than one something?” You’re starting to babble. Close your mouth!

“Of course. We’ll go to the sitting room.” Nora’s knowing smile spread across her face. Edward already told her what happened. Great, I’m doomed.

I had never been so nervous in my life. Debate tournaments I was forced to attend, business meetings, plane rides, sky diving, and petting a tiger all put together and I had never felt my chest this tense before. You just have to get through this. Once she gives you an answer you’ll be able to move forward. You will figure it out.

I kept reminding myself of that as I followed Nora into the sitting room, hoping that if I said it enough times it would begin to feel true.

“Take a seat,” Nora said when we arrived. “I’ll have someone bring up tea.”

“That’s not necessary,” I said. Not like I can drink anything right now anyway.

“Well, then what would you like to speak about?” She sat in a floral high backed armchair and folded her hands in her lap. “I have to return to work shortly so let’s not beat around the bush, shall we?”

Deep breaths. I did as she asked and spit it all out at once. “Well, I think you must have heard from Edward already about what we discussed and I know that’s not going to go over well with you and I might have completely messed up any chance of inheriting anything. But before you say anything, please know that I just couldn’t start a marriage like that. I couldn’t just do what everyone wanted and lie to him. It’s not who I am and it’s not what he deserves. I had no other choice.”

“I know.”

She had interrupted me so quietly, I actually had to turn to face her to see that she had, indeed, spoken. “Excuse me?”

“I know what happened and based on his letter it sounds like you handled yourself beautifully. Better than I could have solved the whole thing, actually.”

“Better than you could have what?”

“You heard me. You tell anyone what I said and I’ll deny it. People around here trust me a lot more than they trust you, so watch yourself.”

I don’t think I was really happy, but a laugh escaped me anyway. Perhaps it was disbelief. Either way I had to leave it be and get to the real reason I had asked to speak to her.

“Grandma, I know you haven’t made your decision about me yet, and I know that may still take time, but I would like to know if you will let me stay here. At least for now. I’m starting to make friends and I’ve seen some areas in town where I could maybe be of assistance. I don’t know that I’ll stay here forever, I just know that I’m not ready to leave yet. I feel like I have more to do here.”

The knowing way she raised her eyebrow was irritatingly similar to my mother.

“So? What do you think? Can I stay? Even just until I find a job somewhere?”

“You really think I would kick you out? Adelaide, I’m not keeping you here as a prisoner. I’m keeping you here as my granddaughter. You are the only family I have now, my dear, and you are welcome any time. And I do mean anytime. Perhaps one day we will even get that draft in your room fixed up.”

She stood and held her arms out to embrace me. It was a small gesture, and I’m not sure I could say our relationship was fabulous, but she was trying. And so was I. Which left me pretty confident that we would figure out how to be family eventually. So, with only a small amount of hesitation, I returned the gesture and allowed my grandmother to hug me.

A small tear escaped my eye as I did, remembering the things I had lost this year. Something I had barely allowed myself to think about as I journeyed what felt like alone in this new country.

Now I was not quite alone. I had a grandmother and I had friends. Hopefully.