Nathan Downing

I found her sitting at her favorite park bench, eating a sandwich and reading a romance novel. It wasn’t a surprise. Regina Shelby enjoyed the quiet moments in life. The Creator knows, she had very little of it as a teacher and a Watcher. 

Regina was a lovely woman. Bill often remarked that he found her attractive. It wasn’t hard to see why. She sat with her legs crossed, her meticulous style on display from her dark gray pencil skirt to her light blue blouse with matching shoes and earrings. Her long black hair was a beautiful contrast to her golden brown skin, and brown eyes that shined in the afternoon sun. 

I walked up to her and waited until she looked up. When she did, the mix of surprise, happiness, then anger I saw on her face did not shock me. I had done the unforgivable. Not even The Creator found me worthy any longer. 

“Hello, Reggie.” She closed her book as I sat down next to her. 

“Technically, I should be upset with you. You broke my friend’s heart, you asshole.” She put her book down and looked at me. “What on goddesses’ green earth are you doing here? I thought you’d taken that job in North Carolina.”

“I did. I’m still there in fact, but I’m here for a Biology symposium tonight. I have a lecture at seven.” I tried for a friendly smile. 

“Oh, I stopped paying attention to those after you left. I didn’t realize there was one on campus this week.” She looked me over and I could see the suspicion in her eyes. Her Watcher nature could make connections where others couldn’t. 

I needed to see William and explain to him, to apologize for what I did to us. Not only for myself, but maybe for him too. I hoped it was possible we might start over, if I could only explain. “How is he?” Regina knew who I meant. Her eyes narrowed. 

“Damn it, Nathan. Don’t ask me that.”

“I need to speak with him. Explain myself. I made a mistake, Regina.”

“You assumed it was in your best interest, is what you did, instead of telling him what you are and figuring shit out. You hurt him and he doesn’t even know why.”

“You could have told him.” I had hoped she would have told him. Explained to him why I left. In the whole year we’d been apart, I hadn’t heard from Bill or Regina. The symposium seemed like a sign from The Creator. I had a chance to explain, to apologize, but I needed to know if William would even see me first. It was why I sought out Regina. She was his best friend.

“No, no way, asshole. That’s not my job.” She was angry. I realized then, I had assumed Regina wouldn’t be this upset. I watched as she stuffed her lunch and book into her satchel and stood up.

“Regina, I couldn’t tell him. I wanted to, but I thought it would make it worse. I thought we couldn’t be together. I was wrong.”

“Oh yeah, it was wrong in more ways than one, and you know what, he’s moved on, Nathan. He’s not waiting for you and your fucking perfect hair and charming smile. He’s found someone that fits him better than you ever did.” It hurt to hear her words. My William had found someone else?

“He loved you, you dumbass. Love, like everything you’re supposed to be about, and yet, you threw it away because of some stupid myth that doesn’t even hold water? All because it was what you were originally taught? You made assumptions and now you get to live with them. Don’t go looking for him, Nathan. He doesn’t need you right now.”

I reached out and put my hand over hers. Her posture changed as my calming effect settled between us. She frowned, but the anger had gone out of her voice.

“Why did you do that? I wanted to be angry.” She sounded disappointed. I could take her disappointment over her righteous anger. Though, The Creator knew I deserved it.

“I know. You have every right to be angry, Regina.”

“Nathan, you were my friend too, but I’m not going to help you. You don’t deserve him.”

“I still love him, Regina. I want another chance.”

“It’s too late, Nathan. Way, way too late. He’s seeing someone else. Didn’t you hear me?”

“I heard you.” I didn’t want to believe it was all. 

“She’s pretty spectacular and Bill is finally out of his ever-present funk. I won’t help you fuck that up. It’s the first time I’ve seen him smile in over a year.”

“She?”

“Nathan, leave it. I’m warning you.” She took a few steps away from me and I got up to follow her. I smiled at her as she continued walking.

“All I want to do is talk with him.” Maybe convince William to leave whoever he’s with to come with me back to North Carolina. I was certain I could find him a job there.

“Fuck, I forgot how persistant you could be. Are all angels like that? I’m warning you Nathan Downing, leave him alone. Do your lecture and go back to your belfry or wherever it was you came from.”

I tried to calm her down again but she dodged my touch and scowled at me. “We were all friends once. It doesn’t have to be like this. We could be friends again.”

“That might have been true if you’d told him and hadn’t run scared, afraid for your immortal soul.”

She was right, and I’d paid the price for it. “Well, it’s a bit too late for that now.”

“What do you mean?”

While my wings were hidden, it was easy enough to remove a feather and show her. The crimson corruption that had stained my once jet-black feathers, stood out bright in the sun. She took the feather and examined it.

“Nathan, what happened?” Her concern for me told me that all wasn’t lost yet. She might be angry with me, but she still cared. It would have warmed my heart if it had been about anything other than my fall from The Creator’s grace.

“I rejected love. I didn’t believe it. How could a demon love? How could a demon love me of all people? He had no idea. Neither of us did. We lived together, but to me, William always seemed human, and I suspect it was the same for him. That’s the universal tragedy of it. Neither of us knew until he told me. Because a normal human wouldn’t have known, so he felt like he should tell me. Two beautiful years with him and I threw it away for things I assumed were right.”

William had tempted me from the beginning. He had been like no other person I’d ever met and I was drawn to him in a way I could not explain. I had been chaste the whole of my life until I met him. I knew now, once he had told me what he was, why we were drawn to each other. We were two sides of a coin. 

“I thought at first that it was our relationship that corrupted me. But it wasn’t, Regina. His soul may be dark, but his love for me was one of the truest things ever.” I took a breath. I had her sympathy but could I gain her help? “I need him back.”

“Oh.. oh hoo, that’s fucking rich, Nathan. You’re corrupt and now your assumptions don’t matter?” Regina shook her head. “Fuck off, Nathan, and don’t go near him. He doesn’t need you and you don’t deserve him.”

She walked away and I stopped following her. I watched as she shoved the feather into her bag. It gave me a small bit of hope that she would show it to William and tell him who it came from.