“I… But why? How, even?” Ben Jeremy was taken aback. Perhaps more so since the man said he had killed someone like he accidentally ate the last slice of pizza.

“This is pretty embarrassing, but I completely forgot to turn on the safeties for my Uzis. Man, I swear I never remember to do that.” He was giggling. “That’s gonna be the death of me one of these days.” He jovially slapped the scientist’s shoulder.

“So, the safeties are on now though, right?” The scientist eyed the two guns holstered at his hip. “Right?”

“I’m kind of scared that if I pull them out to check I might accidentally set them off again.” Tommy Tony offered an apologetic grin, then held his hands up, away from his guns.

Ben Jeremy spent the next few moments contemplating whether he should actually use this man for his mission. Also, how exactly he had become known as a hero of the resistance. He felt he should say something to cover the awkward silence, but he couldn’t think of anything good.

“So, powerful weapon and all, huh?” Tommy Tony thankfully spoke so the scientist didn’t have to.

“The likes of which is usually reserved for some sort of biblical reckoning. Or at least to get me labeled a monster in some future generation.” Ben Jeremy wore a proud smile on his face.

“And I’m just supposed to take your word on it? What guarantee do I have that this thing will even work?” Tommy Tony had gone back to cleaning his nails.

The scientist stood up from his squeaky chair and opened his arms, encompassing the entirety of his lab. He then pulled on the collar of his lab coat as if to say, scientist.

“Just because you have a bunch of fancy equipment like this-” Tommy Tony held up a shiny, black, spherical device. “-doesn’t mean that you know how to use them.”

“That’s a pen,” Ben Jeremy pointed out, confused.

“Why don’t you stick to the science and I’ll stick to the keeping your ass from getting shot!” Tommy Tony shouted angrily.

“Does that mean you’ll take the mission then?”

“Only if you never mention this pen business to anyone,” Tommy Tony answered.

“Deal,” the scientist agreed.

Tommy Tony unfolded the letter he received earlier, from that guy who got shot, and reread it.

“Do you have any idea how insane of a request this is?” Tommy Tony asked. “The heart of the llama city? If your weapon is so powerful, why don’t you just use it here and now?”

“Given the nature of my weapon, it has little chance of working unless I set it off in the middle of the llama population.”

“And how do you propose we get that far in to their land?”

“We’re going to take a small team with us, experts in their field like yourself. That way we can go in unnoticed. We’ll slip into SpitFire’s tower and slide my weapon up his fuzzy llama butt while we whisper things in his ear.” Ben Jeremy gave him a big thumbs up.

“It’s not a bad plan at all, but we have really gotta work on your one-liner’s ‘cause that one, well, it just didn’t really work,” Tommy Tony said awkwardly.

“I know. I knew it as I said it. I just couldn’t stop myself.” The scientist frowned. “Anyway, I have already compiled a list of people we can bring along on this mission. If we have you along as the leader, I think we can do this. I just have to pack a few things and then we can get the team together.”

Ben Jeremy sat down on his desk and began cleaning his glasses, as continually pressing the left lens against his microscope had left a greasy circle. He didn’t end up cleaning it so much as just push the grease around. When he put the glasses back on, his vision seemed a little fuzzy on the left side.

“That’s a no-go, white coat. If you want me on this mission, we use my team, no substitutions. I need people I can trust, ones I’ve seen fight before. Besides, you kind of come off as a smug asshole and I imagine you don’t have any friends who aren’t other scientists.” Tommy Tony didn’t see Ben Jeremy growing on him anytime soon.

“Alright you, uh, got me there actually. Of the four people I have signed up, three of them are other scientists, and the only non-scientist I have also likes raisins and walnuts in his carrot cake.”

“I refuse to work with someone like that! It’s carrot cake! It’s supposed to be about the carrots! It’s not a fruit and nut cake. Completely ruins the subtle and delicate flavor.” Tommy Tony was very angry for a man talking about cake.

“I agree, but it’s not super easy getting people to come along on a possibly suicidal mission into enemy territory. I had to work with what I could get.”

“Well then, you’re in luck, scientist, because I’ve got several suicide missions under my belt, and I’ve walked away from every single one.”

“What about the people who went with you?” Ben Jeremy eyed him, concerned.

“Let’s just say they’re no longer in a position to share their feelings on raisins in carrot cake.”