By the time they're three drinks in, both men want to go home. 

The women arranged their seats so that the men faced each other. He keeps drinking because the woman’s breasts feel like soft globes of heat against His arm. Across from Him, His best friend seems to be in a similar situation, date practically leaning into his lap. Her hands slide down from the top of the table, and He wonders if she’ll really be so bold as to do what He assumes she's attempting to do. 

But he’ll stop her. He shrugs His “date” off as He downs the rest of His drink. Bourbon sloshes up His nose as the wooden sole of a dress shoe rams into His shin. He glares at His friend only to feel His mouth drop open at the slight movements of the woman purring at His best friend. 

his dark eyes stare into Him, a single eyebrow raised. 

Oh thank fucking Christ. 

“Well ladies, we’ve had a wonderful night, but as you can see he’s gotten a little too drunk.” As always, His best friend slumps forward onto the table suddenly, signaling his being ready to leave ASAP. he raises his head shakily and whips his head around like he doesn’t know where he is. 

“Oh, that’s why,” the woman says, blood red lips pulling back into an ugly smile. Her hands reappear and He watches her wipe them hurriedly against the cloth napkin. Bitch. 

He walks around the table to lift His best friend effortlessly, and he throws a limp arm over His neck. His best friend laughs softly in His ear and again He wishes they were already home.

“Make sure to give me a call, m’kay.” His date says it softly, but He still hears her over the music. 

It's clear she's pretty drunk herself, too out of it to recall they haven’t exchanged numbers yet. Before her vulture friend can swoop in for attack, He smiles and reaches out to touch her arm. “Of course, we should do this again.” With a final smile, He hobbles away from them toward the exit. 

When they step outside into the humid night air, their Uber awaits them. His best friend is good at timing their exits and He places him onto one side of the backseat, closing the door softly, before running to the other side. 

Unlike before, this Uber driver has a soft rock station playing quietly, and both men are finally able to relax.