"And her eyes are just helpless. And I realize three fundamental truths at the exact same time."

~Hamilton, 'Satisfied'

~~~

*Lucca's POV*

| ONE MONTH EARLIER |

My. Fucking. Head. Hurts.

It's been a few months since Landon moved out, which means I've been even more disconnected from other wolves than I already was. Even though I fucking hated being part of a pack, I can't deny the fact that wolves need to be around others of our kind.

My family cut me off. I miss them every day, and it hurts that they're no longer in my life. Nah, I'm lying; fuck those bitches.

If they were so willing to obey the word of an Alpha and cut me off without a second thought, then they don't deserve my pining. Seriously, I'm not going to sit around missing a family who isn't missing me.

The other rogues I know are constantly on the move, so I can't always reach them. The only person I really had was Landon, and now he's gone too.

I don't blame him. He put up with my crazy ass for years and years. And after all the shit he went through with his old pack, he deserves to be happy. If happiness for him is living with his boyfriend in a new pack, then good for him.

However, that leaves me on the outs. Landon was my one consistent companion; our own mini-pack. Without him, there's nothing keeping my wolf tied to his sanity.

You see, wolves don't just prefer to live with other wolves. We require it. Depend on it. When we're cut off for too long, our wolves recognize that something is missing and it begins to drive them crazy. I've been cautious about letting Lincoln out, because he's a bit on the wild side. Not feral, but not as mentally stable as a pack wolf.

Ever since Landon moved out, Lincoln's been in distress over the loss. He senses that we're completely alone, and it's driving him up a fucking wall. My head constantly hurts as I try to keep him reigned in. The last thing I need is for Lincoln to force a shift, take control, and end up hurting someone.

'I'm not going to hurt anyone,' Lincoln protests after reading my thoughts. Although the snarl in his voice does nothing to settle my concerns.

'Fuck off, I need to get ready,' I shove him back as I try to get dressed. Today is Xander's eighteen birthday, and I actually don't want to be late today. Well, Landon was very clear that I can't be late.

'Stop shoving me,' Lincoln whines. 'You're just jealous because you know I'm more fun to have at a party.'

I roll my eyes. 'Fun isn't the word I would use. Chaotic, maybe.'

'I would be more fun if you let me out more often,' he huffs in annoyance.

A witty retort sits on the tip of my tongue, but I bite it back. Despite Lincoln being kind of a loose cannon, I still feel bad about not feeling him out very often. But what can I do? Lincoln's in denial that he's slowly unraveling, which makes him a risk to others. 

I would be so fucking pissed if he hurt someone, because I'm the one who would be held responsible.

Being a human is shit.

'You think being a human is shit?' Lincoln growls, quickly growing upset. 'Try being a wolf, forced to follow along with whatever a human decides. I stay locked up all week because you say so. It's fucking bullshit!'

'Linc, calm—'

'Oh, I know you're not about to tell me to calm down,' he cuts me off sharply. 'You know what, I've fucking had it. If I want to go out, I'm going out!'

Without giving me a chance to process what he said, Lincoln bulldozes forward and rips the driver's wheel away from my hands. Pain shoots through my body as my wolf attempts to force a shift. Gasping for breath, I fall to my knees as I try to hold him back.

'Stop!' I bark at him. 'You can't shift in the middle of my room! You'll tear up all my shit!'

Ignoring me, Lincoln continues to barrel forward. My claws extend, which I bury into the flooring as I try to stabilize myself. My back hunches sharply; snarls and growls ripping from my throat while I battle to stay in control.

"STOP!" I shout, my voice booming through the house loud enough to rattle the photos on the wall.

Lincoln reels back in shock, snapping out of whatever psycho daze he was in. My body shudders and I slump completely to the floor; my bones aching from the interrupted shifting process.

'Holy shit, Luc,' Lincoln breathes out, bewildered. 'I-I'm so sorry, I don't know what came over me.'

"It's fine," I lie through my teeth, too mentally exhausted to use the mind link.

It's not fine. That's the third time this week Lincoln's had an outburst. After Landon moved out, Linc's outbursts have been more frequent and fucking draining. I glance up at the clock on my wall and curse loudly.

"Dammit, now I'm late," I groan, pulling myself off the floor despite the protest of my recovering bones. My clothes had torn while I was fighting the shift, which means I'm going to be even later because I have to get changed.

Lincoln remains silent as I quickly get changed into a faded t-shirt and jeans. There's a bit of bleeding at my ear, around the piercing. Fuck, this is why I never shift without taking out my piercings. Clamping a rag over my ear, I hold tightly until the bleeding stops.

Glancing back at the clock, I conclude that there's no way I'm going to make it there before Xander shows up. Fucking shitballs, Landon's going to kill me.