Before following after him, I stop at Ryland's car to grab the bags of stuffed animals we had left in the car earlier. Peeking my head in the house, I make sure the guests are preoccupied so I can sneak up the stairs without being noticed. Xander would be mortified if someone saw the stuffed animals, and I don't want him to be even more upset than I know he already is. It's his birthday, for Goddess's sake. I should be making sure my best friend is enjoying his special day instead of making him feel shitty.

By the time I get to his room, I'm not surprised to see Xander already sitting on his bed with his knees pulled to his chest. I gently set the bags on the floor before taking a seat at the foot of his bed

"You should be downstairs, enjoying your party," I tell him with a weak smile. "Your parents are probably wondering where you are."

"You know, it's a little funny," Xander sniffles, and I notice that his eyes are red-rimmed. Is he... crying? "I'm upset over something I've known about for a while. Isn't that stupid?"

I quickly shake my head. "It's not—"

"Kai, we're best friends, right?" He asks softly, and I don't hesitate to nod my head. "I can tell you anything, right?"

I swallow thickly. "O-Of course."

His eyes drop down to his lap. "I know it's stupid, but... part of me was hoping I would wake up today and find out that you're my mate. Which is really naive, because you would've known if we were mates since you're older than me. I don't know, I guess I couldn't help being a bit hopeful. You're my best friend, and the first person to really understand me. I... I think I'm in love with you."

My breathing stops as I stare at my best friend. He... loves me? Xander Grey loves me. Holy shit.

Yesterday— hell, even a few hours ago, a confession like that would've put me on cloud nine. But now, all I feel is my heart tearing in two. Even though I barely know him, my heart is crying out for Lucca. My mate.

"I love you too," I confess quietly. "You're my best friend. But... I'm not in love with you. I thought I was. You're so cute and fun to be around, and I love everything about you. But—"

"But," Xander cuts in, raising his watery blue eyes to meet my gaze. "Things are different now. You found your mate."

"I'm sorry," I whisper.

He smiles faintly. "Don't apologize. I just needed to tell you how I felt at least once."

"If things were different—"

"Don't," Xander pleads. "I'm okay with being your best friend. Honest. Who knows, maybe I'll meet my mate soon and he'll be even hotter than Lucca."

I chuckle along with him, not even questioning that Xander assumes his mate is a guy. Although I do question that someone can be hotter than Lucca. I mean, has Xander seen him? He's literal perfection.

"Have you tried your cake yet?" I ask in an attempt to change the subject.

Xander's eyes light up. "Ah! No, I haven't! Come on, let's go down to the kitchen."

Forcing a smile, I nod in agreement and follow him downstairs. Between the strain on my bond with Lucca, and the guilt over unintentionally hurting Xander, it's nearly impossible to keep this smile on my face.

I'm so sorry, Xander.