"If you joke when you go broke, you won't hear her complain. After a while, you're learning to smile through the pain."

~I Sing, 'Smile Through the Pain'

~~~

*Lucca's POV*

'Turn around,' Lincoln demands.

"No," I murmur out loud while driving away from the Silver Sun Pack.

'That's our mate!' He snaps. 'You can't keep me away from my mate! I want to meet him. No, I need to meet him. Fucking hell, Lucca, I didn't get the chance to learn his name!'

"I'm not ready for this," I shake my head while clenching my jaw. "I'm not ready."

'Well I am!'

"I'm not fucking going back. I told you, I'm not ready."

Lincoln growls. 'I wasn't ready to leave the pack and become a rogue, but I went along with it because it's what you needed.'

"I didn't choose to get banished," I bristle. "Why the hell would I want to get shunned by my own family?"

'You know why,' Lincoln says lowly, and my fingers tighten around the steering wheel. I force those awful memories down, not letting Lincoln rile me up. 'We could've stayed and helped. We could've—'

"There was nothing we could have done!" I shout, no longer paying attention to how fast I'm driving. "Everyone was too blinded by the fact that they were mates to do anything! She was too fucking blind to leave him."

Unwanted memories flash through my mind as searing pain stabs at my gut. Images of her face, smiling through the pain of her split lip and bruised cheekbone. Smiling, always smiling. No matter what he said, what he did... she was always smiling.

I used to love that smile. The smile that reminded me of all the good in the world. The one that made me grin from ear to ear; heart skipping a beat with unbridled joy.

She had the best smile.

Warm, radiant, calming. I had that smile memorized to the point where I could tell when she was faking it. When her smile seemed strained, and her hazel eyes no longer sparkled.

Olivia.

'Missing her isn't going to do any good when you refuse to try and help her,' Lincoln bitterly reminds me.

"I did try," I spit through my teeth. "But you can't help someone who won't help themselves. I'm not going to blame myself for something I had zero control over."

'And I'm not going to let you drive our mate away because you're too scared,' Lincoln barks back. Not giving me a chance to think through what he said, Lincoln slams his way forward in my mind. I shout, swerving on the road as my head pounds painfully.

"Stop! You're going to make us crash!" I shout, but my warning is ignored. My eyes burn as they begin to glow, signifying Lincoln's attempt to take over. I sharply turn the wheel and pull over to the side of the road, narrowly avoiding a large tree. Ripping off my seatbelt, I kick the car door open and collapse to the ground. Pain rockets through my bones as Lincoln tries to force a shift. I fight against him, but it only makes it hurt worse.

'Let go!' Lincoln growls. 'I'm going to see my mate!'

My fingers stretch into claws, digging into the ground beneath me. My back arches gruesomely, causing my shirt to tear down the middle. Eventually, the pain of resisting becomes to great, and my body collapses.