"Lover come over, look what I done. I been alone so long, I feel like I'm on the run."

~Matt Maeson, 'Cringe'

~~~

*Lucca's POV*

The weeks following my first meeting with Kai have been... uneventful.

Boring. They've been fucking boring.

My days have consisted of the same routine: go to work, perform at the restaurant, go home alone, sleep, repeat.

I keep looking over my shoulder, wondering if Kai's going to appear out of nowhere, but he hasn't. In fact, I haven't even heard from the kid since Lincoln played Invasion of the Body Snatchers and ran off to meet him. My wolf has been under strict lock-and-key since that day. Call it fucking abuse and I'll clock you; it's fucking justified.

'I said I was sorry,' Lincoln whines pitifully.

I raise an eyebrow. 'Are you really?'

He hesitates for a moment before mumbling, 'No.'

'That's what I thought.' I nod my head. It's not exactly that I'm mad about him meeting Kai. If he asked, I would've at least considered it. But instead, he had to force a shift while I was driving, nearly made me crash my fucking car, and broke into a pack where the Alpha already doesn't trust me. He's fucking lucky Landon happened to be walking by, or else Leon would currently have our head mounted on his wall.

Oh, and the biggest piece of annoyance is that Lincoln left my car running, out in the open! By the time he got back, he had to scare away some cracked-out teenager who was sniffing around my baby. Luckily, it's not that difficult for a giant wolf to bare his sharpened canines and send the kid running for the hills. If my car got stolen, I would— well... it's not like I can actually do anything to the wolf who lives in my head.

He's already pretty much grounded, but that's not too different from usual. Because of our status as rogues, Linc and I run the risk of going feral. As you've been able to witness, our exile has knocked a few of Linc's screws loose. Impulsively taking control, forcing shifts... It wasn't quite this bad when I lived with Landon, but since he moved out, I lost my one connection to other wolves.

'There's always Kai~' Lincoln sings in my head.

'Stop.'

'Come on, think about it! If we mate, we'll have a permanent connection to another wolf. We could even join his pack!'

"I don't want to join his pack," I interrupt in a sharp whispered tone. "Living in another restrictive pack with a big-headed Alpha... Alphas don't really care about their wolves. As long as everyone is obedient and blindly living the mate they were assigned, then the Alpha is content. It doesn't matter if everyone is actually happy and safe — as long as they're giving off the illusion that they are."

My voice raises to a growl as bitter memories roll into my mind. I snap my mouth shut, looking around to make sure no one is looking my way. My jaw clenches painfully as the memories continue to force their way into my head.

Memories of pleading to our Alpha to do something about Olivia.

Memories of our Alpha brushing the issues aside, simply because Olivia's mate was his trusted Beta.

My hands clench in disgust at the thought of that bastard. Arthur. I can still see his taunting smile. The fake one he would plaster on his face while he made excuses for Olivia's bruises, and the smug one he would throw my way whenever someone believed him.

I was the one person in the entire pack who saw through his lies. I knew every inch of Olivia's face. I knew when her smile was forced; when she was trying to cover the pain in her eyes. Arthur's feeble excuses could never cover up what I knew.

I begged her desperately to tell someone. Olivia would smile weakly and tell me she was fine, but the fear in her eyes as her gaze flickered around the room was evident. She was scared of him overhearing. Olivia couldn't bring herself to admit what was going on out loud. But she didn't need to. He was hurting her; I'm sure of it.

But he was her mate. The Moon declared they were meant to spend their lives together, and it blinded Olivia and everyone around her.

Mates, I think bitterly. People become irrationally willing to overlook the faults of others once they're slapped with the label of mates. 

The word itself always brings an amount of distaste to my mouth, only... now there's another sensation. One I'm not used to and don't have a name for. Kai's face pops into my head, causing warmth to spread in my chest. I've experienced this warmth at a smaller degree before, with Olivia.

Fucking hell, I loved her.

And it hurt like a bitch when Arthur announced they were mates. We were only fifteen, and he was eighteen. I expected, hoped, and prayed to our Goddess that they would wait until she turned eighteen to mate. But when he hit his first heat, he showed zero restraint when calling her to his side. Our pack leaders laughed it off, claiming the heat is too powerful to resist. She returned to school after a week with a massive mark on her neck; the bruising beneath the puncture wounds from his canines proved he wasn't gentle.

Despite that, Olivia still had hearts in her eyes. She didn't care that he was rough, because "they were made for each other". According to the Moon, their souls were the perfect halves of each other. And because of that, Olivia became willing to put up with more shit than she fucking should have.

If mates didn't exist, maybe Olivia wouldn't have felt pressured to stay with Arthur. Maybe our Alpha would've taken my warnings seriously— actually, scratch that. Arthur was his Beta and best friend. He probably would've turned a blind eye either way.

'You shouldn't speak ill of the dead,' Lincoln grunts. 'Even if he was a dick.'

The sobering reminder pulls a heavy sigh from my chest. After I was kicked out of the pack, I heard through the grapevine that Alpha Kaden died. I've heard varying stories, but nothing solid. All of the rumors seemed far-fetched; not really believable. Hearing that Arthur become the next Alpha was enough to make me stop listening to the gossip. If a bastard like him is running the pack, I want jack shit to do with it.

Besides, I was banished. What happens to them doesn't concern me anymore.