Level 003

The world of Theia loaded around me in a kaleidoscopic ripple of polygons.

I stood in a lush meadow, where a carpet of daises and clover rolled away from my feet. The horizon rose into a line of snow-capped mountains, the jagged formations clawing at the fluffy white clouds drifting lazily across the vibrantly blue sky. Butterflies darted past me, their movements frighteningly natural, a holographic title card being the only concession to their digital existence.

Other players popped into existence around me, and together we all took the same actions — mostly staring in wide-eyed wonderment at the gorgeous pastel-coloured world surrounding us. I bent down and touched the grass, and the haptic gloves on my real-world hands rumbled ever-so-gently as I ran my fingers through the greenery.

Everything felt so real that it was hard to believe my real body was miles away from this server, semi-conscious on my bed. Jessie told me the headset couldn’t do everything — I’d still get hungry IRL, and definitely need to drink and pee — but for now, it felt as though I’d been transported into CraftQuest’s world, body and soul.

“Hey, Remy! Are you done daydreaming yet?”

An icon in the left corner of my vision told me that “Jessie” was talking to me over a private voice chat. The general chat hummed with the low voices of the other dozen or so players, but unlike normal online games, their voices were modulated by how far away they were — just like hearing a distant conversation in the real world.

“Come over here, idiot, I haven’t got all day.”

“I’m coming!” I said. From what Jessie had told me, the headset was capable of suppressing my actual mouth, so I wasn’t talking to myself back home. Instead, the headset pressed tightly against my upper-jaw and intercepted the subtle twitches in my cheeks as I tried to speak. These motions could be translated into the digital world and piped into the world’s voice chat. My voice wasn’t my voice, then, but an approximation — a slightly higher pitch than my usual tone, something manufactured by the game.

Technology really was amazing.

I took a step forward and—

—feel face-first onto the ground.

A hot blush swept across my face as I shoved my avatar upright again. The VR headset rumbled around my head, indicating some form of damage, and a little -1 floated down from my HP bar.

I took damage from the ground?! How’s that even possible?!

A bunch of players chuckled at me, accompanied by a few emotes of an embarrassed chibi-Beryl. I hastily stood up, wondering if my embarrassed blush translated into the digital world too.

“Oh for— you really are incompetent, aren’t you?!”

Jessie approached me quickly, glaring at the other players until they shut up.

“I’m not that—”

I broke off mid-sentence and let out a squeal so loud it caused half a dozen players to mute me.

“Jesus — Rem — my ears!”

“YOU LOOK SO CUUUUUUUTE!”

I could barely contain my excitement at seeing Jessie’s avatar for the first time. CraftQuest had gotten her height right — she still barely reached my chin — but her in-game outfit was way more adorable than anything my sister would wear IRL. Her character wore a traditional maid outfit — black dress, white apron, frilly bonnet, even a pair of round glasses. Her black hair was twisted into a braid behind her back, and somehow, the game managed to capture her signature glare of disapproval.

Technology really is amazing!

“Are you done making an embarrassment of yourself? Sigh. Sometimes I really can’t believe we’re sisters.”

“But — but — but—”

My constant need to fawn over anything and everything cute was immediately shot down by my practical little sister. Crestfallen, I followed her out of the meadow and into an adjoining area of gently rolling hills.

“Listen, I’m sure you know a few basics — you’ve watched enough of Beryl after all — but I’m going to explain the simple stuff so that even youcan understand.”

I ignored her pointed jab. There’d be a time for revenge later — right now, I was overjoyed at the sheer premise of standing in the same world my idol inhabited. This was CraftQuest, a world of magic, simple and carefree. In the distance, players explored the rolling hills of Theia, gathering materials and engaging in combat against this area’s main critters — little slimes that barely reached knee-height.

“This is basically a crafting and gathering game with a bit of combat,” Jessie explained, leading me over to a nearby patch of flowers. Bees and butterflies fluttered around the pastel-coloured flowers, each of which glowed softly. As my vision passed over them, a small hand appeared as a digital overlay, letting me know I could pick them.

“You’ll want to gather everything that isn’t bolted down to start with. Once you’ve collected a ton of materials, you can start crafting them into basic potions and items, and once you have those, you can collect better materials to make better items, and repeat the loop all over again. Simple enough?”

“C’mon Jes, I’m not that dumb. I’ve played a few of the Apothecarygames before, I know how crafting games work.”

“From what I remember, you somehow used up all three years of time without starting the main quest. I didn’t even know that was possible!!”

“I get distracted easily, okay?! I was busy— oooooh look, shiny!”

After hoovering up a bunch of the flowers (my inventory list flashed in the corner of my vision with every new addition), I hurried over to a little outcropping of rocks where something glittered in the sunlight.

“Those are gemstones, but you don’t have gem gathering gloves yet, so you won’t be able to pick them up yet. Hey, I said you won’t be able to — just — no — stop trying!!”

“Nnnggggggh!”

I flailed my hands around desperately, but the game refused to let me pick up the stones.

“Wahhhhhh, Jessiieeee no faiiiir, I want the pretty gemstones!!!”

“Oh my God, you are a literal baby! Forget the gemstones! You don’t even have a high enough Gathering skill to pick them anyway!”

Sulking, I stood and wandered over to the next flower field, picking them all with a simple pinch of my fingers. After my second or third flower, I paused, my eyes on the inventory notifications.

“…Hey, Jessie?”

“…Yes?”

“…What does the game mean when it says that something is Useless?”

“Useless…? Well, there are grades of materials you can gather depending on your skill rank. Common, Uncommon, Rare, and Legendary. And if you try to gather something you don’t have a high enough skill for, it turns into a Useless rank instead…”

“…”

I emptied my inventory, dumping a dozen once-happy and vibrant flowers onto the ground. Every last flower had turned into a wilted, crumpled, Useless Flower.

“Jessssiieeeeeee!!!”

“How are you seriously this bad at a video game?! This shouldn’t even be possible! Flowers are literally the most basic thing to gather! It’s right next to the starting area!”

Jessie collapsed on the ground while I stubbornly picked every flower I could see, only to have them turn into a Useless item right before my eyes. 

“All… useless… how…” Jessie muttered, gazing upon my destruction.

“I — I’m sure it’s just a glitch, right? Glitches happen all the time in games, right, haha? Look, I’ll try picking these berries instead.”

I left Jessie to her meltdown and approached a small bush sparkling with fresh berries that my overlay informed me were Nectarburrs. I grabbed them and watched in horror as my inventory recorded them as the very worst Rank available. Dropping them on the ground, a tiny -1 floated up from the earth.

“…”

“…”

“…Did I just… deal damage… to the ground?!”

I collapsed and gripped my head with both hands, sobbing pathetically. 

I told you that some people have natural talents, right? Well, if I have any natural talent, it’s being hopelessly, miserably, absolutely, terrible at videogames. There are literally grandmas out there that are better than me (trust me, xXx_SaggyTits_xXx is actually a really good streamer), and I’m supposed to be from the generation of kids permanently wired to technology. I don’t know how, but tech just hates me, and games more so than anything else.

Jessie took a deep breath and looked up at me.

“Okay,” she said, with an expression reserved for soldiers marching to their doom. “We need to call in the big guns.”