In just a few days, the Sembreak is getting near. I have completed projects, performance tasks, quizzes and seatworks. What a relief! 

It's Friday and I'm one of the cleaners of the day, so I can't go home early.

Recently, dad's condition got worsened. I cry every night because of this. 

So we decided to close the shop. He could no longer do the job well. We always see him struggling. Previously, I was even able to shout at him because there were things he could not do. He often forgets. He is always angry. Sometimes I even thought of running away because I could no longer live in this house. 

But now I can't afford to lose him.

I am too selfish.

While I was at school, my sister took care of my dad, she always bring Jae with her of course. When I arrive, they will prepare to go home, because I will now take charge of him.

When the school finally ended, I saw Sharon at the gate. I gripped the strap of my bag tightly. This is the thing I want to do to her for a long time, which I can not do because I do not have the courage, because I am a loser.

Good thing she was alone. I approached her. "Hello." I said.

She smiled.

I took a deep breath. "I know you are upset with me. So, I just want to tell you that .... whatever I did to you, I am very sorry. I don't want to know what is the reason for you to doing this to me, but I just let it be because I still have things to focus on. I hope the things you, all of you, did to me, would stopped. I don't have evidence, but I could feel it was me. I hope, you forgive me. And I hope, we will be friends, even if it is difficult." I walked away from her. 

I finally told her what I wanted to say. This is for the peace of my mind and soul.

I got home at four o'clock. I saw my sister, with dad on the sofa, she is feeding him. Jae was sleeping in the cradle that we made in the living room.

I dressed immediately so they could arrange their things. 

My sister grabbed my hand and went in the kitchen. Her eyes are swollen.

"He doesn't know us anymore."

I nodded, holding out my tears.

"He can no longer eat alone."

"He can no longer walk to the comfort room."

"He even yells at me and Jae, because he doesn't know us. We are strangers to him." 

"And what's scary," she stopped first then cried. "Whenever he falls asleep," she pointed dad who was already asleep on the sofa. "I don't know if he will wake up. It's hard for him to wake up."

We are both crying.

"You know what's painful? You have a hard time taking care of him every day, but it's harder when I see him struggling too."

I hugged my sister. My eyesight is starting to blur because of the tears dripping from my eyes.

"Why did this happened? We did everything we could to prevent that. We couldn't even heal dad in the 31 days given to us. Why? Why does he still have to leave us?"

"Maybe not everything can be changed. We still have one day left. Let's make the most of taking care of dad. We will remind him that his children love him so dearly."

The next day, my sister's husband bought a wheelchair and immediately brought it home. He also has adult diapers, everything dad needs.

Then, we took him for a walk in a historic park. The park where he was with me on the field trip during elementary days. He is still strong, and now that he is coming back here, his body is very weak. I don't even know if he still remembers this place.

BUT!

We made new and many memories today. Every moment, I take pictures, of course with our photogenic dad.

When we felt tired we laid a mat on the grass. We also put food.

When his food is ready and I insisted on feeding him. 

"Dad, let's eat. say ahhh ~"

He just closed his eyes. "you're awake right? You're just tired. Come on let's eat."

I put down the plate first and patted his cheek. When he eats, he still responds to my pat.

But why do I hear nothing?

I can hear the noise around me, why can't I hear your simple 'mmm'?

"dad...." I hugged him. "he's not breathing."

My sister carried Jae and my older brother pushed the wheelchair. We left our things there and immediately went to the nearest hospital.

It's dead on arrival. We're not able to save him.

We went outside the room and sat on the corner. 

"Do you remember?" she asked me.

"yes. we wore a comfortable indoor clothes, but now we are fully dressed. This time, I do not regret it, because we have done what we did not do before."

"Hopefully, he will never forget our new memories."

A nurse stopped in front of us. "How was your experience?" She is not the ordinary nurse. But in her ambiance, we get to know her

"We are grateful for the opportunity you gave me, even if it was unbelievable. Even though we did not change other things in the past, we learned a lot. I learned to love my family" I looked at my sister, she smiled to me. "appreciate while they are still alive. I also learned to appreciate the life that was given to me. All my life, I always thought I was worthless. But in this chance, you gave me a reason to live, that is to take care of the person we love the most. . Thank you very much.