"Life can get you down so I just numb the way it feels. I drown it with a drink and out-of-date prescription pills. And all the ones that love me they just left me on the shelf, no farewell."

~Ed Sheeran, 'Save Myself'

~~~

*Easton's POV*

I thought I was getting better.

The voice... it's been really quiet lately. Being around Landon has brought nothing but light into my life, driving out all the dark thoughts brought on by the voice. I thought— no, I was getting better.

So, why...?

'Pathetic piece of shit.'

"Stop," I murmur, covering my ears with my hands.

'You're so fucking stupid. What kind of Alpha can't solve this kind of problem?'

"It's not my fault," I grit through my teeth. "Our financial situation was fucked up before I took over."

'Are you really going to blame the people who raised you? They could've abandoned you on the streets as a pup. In fact, that's what they should've done. Instead of raising an ungrateful cunt like you.'

'Easton,' Elias whimpers in my head. Mentally cursing, I slam down a mental barrier to block Elias out. I've been slipping lately; forgetting to block my wolf out when the voice is present.

He doesn't need to know how weak I'm becoming.

No one needs to know.

No one needs to see how pathetic their Alpha is.

Taking a deep breath, I squeeze my eyes shut as I try to calm down. The voice came back a few days ago. Within the months that followed me and Landon completing the mating process, I had felt more at peace than I ever did in my life thus far. I was— I am happy. My family has welcomed Landon into our home with open arms. Not that they had much of a choice, because if anyone disrespects my mate, banishment would be the least harsh punishment I could give them.

When the voice came back, it caught me off guard. What changed? Why would the voice come back now, when I'm finally happy? Maybe... maybe that's why. Maybe it's back because I'm happy, and it doesn't want me to be anything but miserable. I hate this. I hate the way it feels whenever the voice comes back, tearing me down over and over.

Stop it. The voice isn't real. It's only a hallucination based off my own insecurities.

'Am I?' The voice sneers. 'Or maybe you're a fucking psycho who hears voices. How do you think everyone would feel if they knew? If they knew their leader was crazy. Unstable. Unfit to lead. The entire pack would fall apart and you know it.'

"Stop!" I growl, gripping the edge of my desk so tight that the wood begins to splinter.

'Your parents would be ashamed. Your poor mother would weep. Your father would be so disappointed. Leon would stop looking up to you. And Landon—'

"Don't," I beg through my teeth, barely holding on.

'Landon would be sickened that he ever loved a mental patient.'

"I said STOP!"

The wood cracks beneath my hands as I release a pained roar, ripping the edge of the desk and hurling it across the room. The stake of wood slams against the wall, smashing into a few picture frames and causing shards of shattered glass to tumble to the ground.

My chest heaves up and down as I stare at the mess across my office. Another low growl rumbles in my throat with the burning wish for the voice to manifest itself so I can plunge one of those shards of glass into his throat, silencing his taunting forever.

"Easton!" My office door swings open as Landon barrels into the room, his blue eyes wide with worry. "I heard a crash, and some shouting. What the hell happened here?"

His gaze sweeps around the room, from my tattered desk to the destruction of photos. Pain flickers in his eyes as he walks over, carefully maneuvering around the broken glass.

My heaving breathing catches in my throat when I finally register which photo I broke. Pain tears at my chest from the hurt look in Landon's eyes as he holds up the ruined photo of us at his Luna Blessing.

"Pumpkin..." I choke out, but nothing else follows. What am I supposed to say? I got angry at the voice in my head and accidentally smashed up a photo of us?

"Did I..." Landon pauses to take a breath and nervously lick his lips. "Did I do something to upset you?"

"No!" I quickly assure him, horrified that he would even think I could be angry with him. "Baby, you did nothing wrong. I just got a little frustrated, and that photo got caught in the crossfire. It wasn't intentional, I swear."

My mate reluctantly nods his head, still staring sadly at the photo. Sighing, I cross the room and wrap my arms around his waist to look at the photo with him. It's a good picture of us. My mom snapped it at the end of the Luna Blessing, when I threw Landon over my shoulder to carry him out of the ballroom. His face is beet-red with embarrassment, and there's a large grin on my face.

"We'll get a new frame for it," Landon says softly, setting the photo down on my bookshelf. "What made you so upset that you wrecked half your office? And your desk," Landon groans, breaking out of my embrace to walk over to the desk. He runs his fingers over the exposed wood with a disapproving frown. "We'll need to get you a new desk to. What happened?"

"It's nothing," I grumble, and Landon raises a brow.

"That doesn't look like nothing," Landon scoffs. "Babe, you know you can talk to me about anything. We're mates, and I love you. I want to help you in any way that I can."

'Except he can't help you,' the voice reminds me with a hiss. 'No one can.'

"Easton?" Landon questions gently; his blue eyes laced with concern.

Shaking my head, I hurriedly decide to pin it all on the issue I was facing when the voice popped up today. "It's the pack's finances. Everything is such a mess from when my parents were in charge. They spent an excessive amount of money to constantly give the pack face lifts, like fucking plastic surgeons. Our school is overflowing, but there's not enough left in the budget to accommodate for a second school."

Landon nods along as I rant to him about our current financial situation. I can practically see the gears turning in his head, making me slow down my ramblings until I've come to a complete stop.

"What are you thinking?" I question, and he purses his lips in thought.

"Can I take a look at the books?" He requests. "I'm not a mathematician or a budget specialist, but I might be able to help a little."

Shrugging, I pick the large folder off my desk and drop it in his hands. "Go for it. Maybe a fresh set of eyes will be helpful. Thanks, pumpkin."

Landon beams, leaning over to kiss my cheek. "Now, you get to clean up this mess. I'm not calling in some poor wolves to clean a mess you created. Have fun!"

Grinning, my cheeky mate spins on his heel and leaves my office. The smile on my face drops when I look over at the mess of glass on my floor. Groaning, I grab the trash can and get to work.