He walked around and gave me a hug from behind. “And what’s my new cat called?” he asked very softly. It gave me goosebumps.

I didn’t want to tell him my name at first, because my instincts told me it would be a bad idea, but I’m terrible at thinking of names on the spot so I decided to avoid the question another way. “Don’t owners usually decide what to call their pets?” I turned my head to look at him with my most doe-eyed flirty-innocent face possible. “So shouldn’t you name me?”

He stumbled back away from me and his eyes fixed on the ceiling. He had one arm crossed over his chest and the other was rubbing the back of his neck. He was flushed again and had an opened mouthed nervous smile.

I actually found it pretty funny how flustered he was. He seemed to be the type that could dish it out but couldn’t take it.

“I guess I should, yeah,” he giggled, his voice breaking. “A name, a name…” He seemed a bit panicked while he tried to think, and I just watched with vague amusement. “Oh! I know! I’ll call you Duchess the Second!”

My will to keep my real name secret disappeared instantly.

“It’s Soot. My name is Soot. Don’t call me Duchess the Second,” I said quickly, holding up my hand for him to stop. He clasped my hand with both of his and kissed my fingertips before I could stop him.

“It is entirely my pleasure, Soot,” he purred. I snatched my hand back.

“Yeah, I’ll bet,” I scoffed.

When we left and took the elevator to the parking garage he tried to pick me up again but I managed to talk him down into just holding my hand. He started stroking the back of my hand with his thumb so I dug my nails into him.

Frank was waiting for us, leaning against a car and holding a stack of papers under one arm. He handed them to Duke when we approached. “Last night’s report,” he explained. “It went smoothly after I got back, but some of the guys were asking about what happened to him,” he said, pointing at me.

“And what did you tell them?” Duke asked, sounding a little threatening.

“The truth.”

Duke chuckled dryly. “I bet they didn’t like that.”

“Most of them know what you’re like at this point, Boss.” Duke smirked while the two men stared at each other in tense silence.

“Sit up front,” Duke said to me, releasing my hand and patting me on the back. “Give Frank directions while I read these in the back.” He gave me a calming little smile, which I didn’t really need since their brief stand-off hadn’t phased me.

I did as he said and sat in the passenger seat. “Where to?” Frank asked me.

“If you go to that shop from last night I can tell you the way from there.” So that’s what we did.

On the drive, Duke occasionally questioned Frank about what was in the report, and it was from listening in on their conversation that I learned about the shop not paying their protection fee and about the person standing watch having gone to piss before I showed up. I didn’t say anything while they talked, but I pulled a few faces at what I was hearing.

When we drove past the shop, I noticed that it was closed.

We arrived outside my apartment complex about one minute later, since I live close.

“Oh? This place?” Duke perked up when we parked. “Wait in here a minute, I’ll be back soon,” he instructed me, patting my head before exiting the car. I wondered what he meant while I watched him walk away. Once he was out of sight, Frank grabbed my shoulder roughly and turned me towards him. I clenched my fists reflexively and glared at him to ask what the hell he was doing.

He spoke in a hushed but authoritative tone. “I’m with the police. I’m currently deep undercover to gather information on the operations of that man. He’s a notorious crime lord, and a very dangerous, unstable person. Do you understand? While he’s in there you should run. I’ll help you escape.”

It was a lot to take in all at once, to say the least. When he said “police” I frantically wondered if I’d done anything illegal, so it then took me a little while to process the rest of what he was saying. “Ah, no, that’s okay,” I said stiffly, inching back and slyly reaching for the car door handle.

I’ll try to recount the thought process I had at the time. It went something like this: “Police?! Oh shit! I don’t want to deal with the police. If they take him down, am I gonna have to testify in court? No way. That would be such a hassle. I don’t even own a suit: I can’t go to court! Even if he’s some crime lord or whatever, isn’t it fine since he’s not done anything to me? Okay, I guess he kidnapped me. Did bring me back though. I really don’t care? I don’t want to explain my shitty morality to someone who upholds the law! I’d so much rather pretend to be his cat than get questioned by the police. I should let Duke know that Frank’s a traitor. That’s the polite thing to do.” And so after making up my mind about that, I assumed I’d have to think of how to get Frank’s hand off my shoulder so I could escape, but he removed it himself after I’d turned down his offer.

“What do you mean? You may have survived one night, but there’s no way of knowing when he’ll kill you,” he urged, his face serious and stern.

“Yeah, that’s not a problem. Thanks for the offer, though,” I stammered. He was so taken aback that I managed to open the door and leap out before he could stop me. I sprinted towards the building right as Duke walked out, so I just flung myself at him desperately. “Frank’s an undercover cop!” I exclaimed, already out of breath from running about ten metres because I’m a deeply unhealthy person. “He’s tryin’ to, fuckin’, what’s the word? Sting? Sting! He’s tryina sting you!”

He didn’t respond at all. I grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him down to face me. “Are you listening? I said he-” I stopped when I saw that Duke’s eyes were welling up with tears. I thought that even though getting betrayed probably doesn’t feel very nice, it’s not worth crying over, and you need to buck up if you’re in charge. Before I could voice that thought to him, he roped his arms around my waist and hoisted me up off the ground and into a massive hug. “Is this really the time for that?!” I shouted. I hadn’t been that riled up in years.

“You were worried about me, weren’t you?” he said in a mix of sobs and giggles. 

“What?” I snapped.

“This means you were worried about me, right? I can’t. It’s too much. You’re too cute!” He sounded pathetic. Since my arms were free I smacked him on the head.

“Why aren’t you taking this seriously?” 

“Huh? Oh. Because Frank isn’t actually an undercover cop,” he explained, the smack apparently calming him down a bit. He looked at me sheepishly. “I should have said that right away, since you were so worried.” He sounded so genuinely touched that I wanted to hit him again.

“Sorry about that,” Frank said, having made his way over while Duke was messing around.

“He says the same thing to every person I bring home,” Duke elaborated, rolling his eyes. He moved me slightly so I was sitting on his hip, like a mother carrying their toddler.

“And every single one of them takes the offer,” Frank responded, crossing his arms. “Can’t believe this kid really ran back to you instead.”

“Kid?” I questioned. “How old do you think I am?” They both looked like they were probably in their twenties or thirties, so I knew they couldn’t have been much older than me.

“Oh, I hadn’t thought about that,” Duke whispered to himself in surprise and then took a good look at me. “Maybe sixteen?” I stared at him, utterly baffled. I knew I had a babyface and was pretty short for a guy, but thinking I looked like a sixteen-year-old was genuinely insulting. For one thing, I was buying cigarettes when we first met, so he had to know I was at least eighteen, right?

I reached into one of my pockets and pulled out my ID, which I then shoved in his face. “I’m twenty-five, you prick!” I barked. I must have been extra angry, since I was already worked up about Frank being or not being with the police, because I wouldn’t have usually gotten that upset about something like this.

He took a hold of my ID and after looking at it for a moment he squeezed me tightly and started spinning around. “We’re the same age!” he sang delightedly.