In settings like these, it’s always a good idea to head to the nearest town, where you can usually find a sidequest or three, which will fetch you some coin you can, in turn, use to purchase some actually decent gear. Furthermore, chances are that I can find a few party members for my ‘epic quest’ in the local pub.
So that’s what I did.

It wasn’t even particularly hard, considering that the town was but a stone’s throw away from the cave entrance, the very embodiment of rural tranquility with small huts covered in hay, people going about their daily business, a bunch of sheep grassing on a nearby meadow with the shepherd napping under a tree, his faithful dog sitting next to him in the shade.
Classic.

As I entered the town, I quickly noticed, that people took a lot of notice of me. Talks became hushed as I walked on by and everyone who crossed my way was in an awful hurry to be somewhere else.

I figured it was because I was carrying armor, at least sort of and a blade half my size, whereas the most dangerous thing I’ve seen around were a bunch of wooden pitchforks.

It took me about 5 minutes until I finally got a hold of someone who didn’t duck away quickly enough, so, in an effort to make a good first impression, I put on my best smile and asked him, “Good sir, would you please be so kind as to direct me to the nearest tavern?”

The man looked at me with big eyes, then eyed the sword and finally raised his shaking hand to point at the building right behind me.
I turned around, and, sure enough, it said ‘Tavern to the golden meadow’ on the sign swinging over the door.
Guess I found the tavern.

I thanked the man and turned away to enter the tavern, only hearing his hasty footsteps as he kicked up the gravel of the road to get as far away as somehow possible.

I remember wondering, if they were mistaking me for some wanted outlaw by chance, because I didn’t consider myself to look that scary. Aside from my gear, that is.
However I still took a mental note to be a bit more careful. Because someone or something was making these people nervous enough to be scared of a random stranger on the street.

I entered the, surprisingly well filled for this time of day, tavern and as I closed the door, the entire conversation died down in an instant and everyone stared at me.

“Could someone tell me what the heck is going on here?!” I yelled, because this whole ‘he’s scary, let’s scram’ act had long since started to tick me off, however the coming minutes made me wish I had kept my mouth shut and just walked over to the bar like a regular patron. Though, all thing considered, things would have probably turned up just the same anyway.

So, after calling out, a bunch of hunky men got up from their tables, each of them easily as tall as me, but about twice as wide as I am, and I don’t mean in the ‘fat’ kind of sense.
But, since I still considered this to be a dream, I did not do the reasonable thing and booked it, no sir. I stood my ground, right where I was until I was surrounded by the bunch.

The tallest of the group and apparent leader said, “So, you’re the one or sumthing?!”

At this point, my more basic instincts kicked in and, because I am, in fact, a bit of a coward, I asked, “A-are you waiting for someone in particular? I-I’m just a random passerby. My apologies for disturbing your…afternoon drink?”

The big guy leaned over to me, exhaling deeply and I swear to God, I was ready to see clouds of steam exiting through his nostrils, but nothing the likes happened. Instead he just loomed over me for endless seconds and eventually scoffed and pulled back, muttering something like, “Not even worth my time,” before returning to his place with his fellow crones.

It was only as I raised my hand to wipe off the cold sweat on my forehead that I realized my hands were shaking like crazy and it was also the first time I wished to wake up now please.

A wish I would utter a great number of times in the not so far future, but it never got granted.

After the little encounter, I staggered over to the bar, were a rather well-built barmaid was taking care of the liquid needs of the patrons, who also didn’t look like they were from around here.

After I sat down, she came over to me and asked, what I’d like to have.
I considered ordering a beer, even if only to overcome the shock from earlier. After all, this was but a mere dream, so I wouldn’t have to worry about getting drunk or anything. But then again, I wouldn’t even know what beer tastes like, seeing how I chose to not drink alcohol very early in my life. So I just ordered a glass of water to do something about my parched throat, which fetched me another strange look by the barmaid. But then again, you get used to getting looked at strangely all too easily. Both in this world as well as on the other side.

As she placed the mug on the counter, I realized that I didn’t even check whether the start equipment included a wallet of any description, because I’m pretty sure that they wouldn’t take Euros here, even if I could have brought any.

I checked my person and quickly came to realize that I did, in fact, not have a single penny on me to even pay for the water now standing in front of me.

Well, my mother did not raise a crook who’d drink and then run, so I call up the barmaid and tell that I was new in town and out of money.
Usually this kind of interaction would start some sort of sidequest I can do to get some starting money or at least point me in the right direction.

But if there’s one thing I’ve learned in the meantime, it is that it’s always best to expect the unexpected, because the barmaid leaned to the front, exposing her cleavage to me like it was nobody’s business and said, “Don’t worry about it. It’s just water. I suggest you get yourself a job quickly if you want to eat something though.”

And with that, she turned around and tended to the other customers again, leaving me at a loss of what to say.

I tried to make conversation with a few other patrons, trying to figure out what was going on, and, in memory of the wise words of the barmaid who couldn’t have been older than 20 years, I also ask around for any odd jobs someone like me could do.

And by that, I meant someone who has actually no idea on how to do any sort of manual labor whatsoever. Obviously there were very few job openings for someone without any sort of practical experience in any of the fields they were looking for.

I mean, I’m a quick learner and my bodies was stronger than it ever has been, but even the magical pendant, which allowed me to understand their gibberish could not teach me skills I do not have.

After a few pointless hours of asking around and almost getting into trouble a number of times, I returned to the counter and politely asked for another glass of water.

“No luck, hm?” the barmaid asked, sizing me up with her eyes.
“Nope. On the street people just about ran from me and in here it looks like every third person is out to beat me up. I have no money, no idea on where to go, what I am supposed to do or where I’m going to sleep tonight. This is the crappiest dream ever!”
The barmaid looked up from the glass she was polishing and asked, “A dream? What makes you think you are dreaming?”
“Eh, a number of things. Most notably that I was getting to bed last night and woke up on a stone slab this morning though.”

The barmaid blinked a few times as I pulled out the pendant I had kept under my clothes and said, “And without this thing here I wouldn’t even be able to understand a thing you guys are saying. Peachy, isn’t it?”
The eyes of the barmaid grew wide and her mouth opened in shock.

It took her 10 full seconds to recover her voice and I’m sure everyone from here to the next intersection heard her scream, “You’re the new champion?! I thought you were just some random bum!”
I chuckled lightly and replied, “Can’t I be both? At least I sure feel like a bum right now. No money, no home, no purpose in life...yup, sure sounds like a bum’s life to me.”
“No! No, no, no! No, this isn’t right! I-I mean...you’re old!” the barmaid exclaimed, her bosom rising so heavily that I fear that her top won’t hold.
Fortunately for all present it still did. Or unfortunately, if that’s what you’re into.

Talk about an underwhelming welcome to a new world.