Josiah 

I nodded my head and forced my legs to move. I wanted to tell Kennedy that I wouldn't have a panic attack because it was just a conversation with Baring. But from past experience I knew that was a lie, so instead I just walked over to the counter. I kept my gaze trained on Baring, I could feel the people in the small coffee shop and I knew if I turned away from Baring for even a second I would lose my nerve or puke. That was a possibility too. 

I awkwardly shuffled into the spot in front of the counter and Baring smiled at me with his usual radiance, "Do you want to come back here?"

I nodded and followed his directions as I slunk behind the counter. Baring laughed softly and reached out for my hand. I tentatively took his hand and let him lead me to a bench conveniently placed close to the register. I sat on the edge leaving space for him to sit and he sat down next to me. And he managed to do it without letting go of my hand. 

"Are you ok?" 

I looked at the large espresso machine sitting on the counter infront me. I took in its shiny silver knobs and all the facets it had, with a small smile I looked at Baring and gave him a small nod to match the smile.

His eyes narrowed but he didn't say anything. Instead he leaned against the cupboard behind us and exhaled slowly. I watched him watch me with narrow eyes that didn't seem to shine as much as they previously did. 

"I am sorry." Baring whispered into the quiet space between our faces. 

I tilted my head to the left and looked him over. I wasn't sure what he was apologizing for but he looked sincere. I glanced at our entwined hands and looked back at Baring's face. 

"Oh. Um sorry. I just..." He jerked his hand away from mine and looked over at the same espresso machine I had gazed at. Baring rubbed the back of his head and whispered, "I wasn't apologising about that. I was..." 

My hand hovered over his for a second but I couldn't commit to the idea of holding his hand first so I retracted my hand. 

Baring faced me again, catching me off guard and causing my face to warm up. I used my index finger to trace the collar of my shirt, I traced the edge and watched him gaze at me. Baring smiled and spoke again this time his confidence and charm seemed to have come back to him.

"I am sorry about that night. At the party? I don't know what I said to make you feel uncomfortable but I am sorry. Next time I will take into consideration what I say." 

I wanted to tell him it's ok. It's not his fault. He didn't trigger my attack, the information just took me by surprise. But I couldn't, so instead. I nodded, again. 

"Great! Do you want to learn how to make coffee?" Baring asked face back to its natural blinding state. 

I laughed softly. His smile was warm and infectious, I could feel its warm radiance run through the veins in my body. 

Baring took a bow and smiled at me,"Come on. I will show you a good time." 

‘Idiot.’ I thought, rolling my eyes. I placed my hand in Baring's outstretched one. 

"I saw that." Baring said laughing, "Come on." 

Baring led me towards the large machine and smiled at me as he pulled out an empty cup from the stack beside the machine. He dropped my hand and picked up a marker. With his bright smile and a loopy handwriting he scribbled something onto the cup. 

I reached for the cup and Baring pulled it away from my hands. I laughed and leaned closer to him. The brown-skinned boy smiled and pulled the paper cup out of reach again. I rolled my eyes and stepped even closer. Baring looked at me with a raised eyebrow, his lip quirked up and he raised the cup higher. I laughed at his ridiculous antics and jumped in an attempt to grab the cup. Baring laughed and leaned back. 

‘Idiot.’I thought. 

 I leaned even closer and reached for the cup. Baring looked down at me and smiled. His smile was different from the usual radiant one. This one was bright and soft, his eyes crinkled in the corners as a soft glow emitted from them. I looked at his smile a little too long and tripped over my foot. 

Baring laughed and reached down to catch me by my waist, "Whoa! Careful you can't go around ruining that handsome face." 

I looked away from him hiding the blood that was rushing to my cheeks. Baring laughed again and pulled me in before letting go of my waist. I fingered my collar again trying to fidget as the memory of his warm hand lingered on my waist. 

Baring, oblivious to the phantom feelings he had left on me placed his hand on my back and guided me towards the coffee machine, "Come on let me show you how it works." 

He handed me the cup and placed his hand on my bicep, "Move closer, the machine doesn't bite." 

Baring's hand was warm. And despite the thin short sleeve separating my skin from his I could feel his heat emanating through the shirt in small waves. Baring leaned closer, he slid his hand down my arm, all the way to my wrist. Shudders ran through me and my breath caught from the action. I was so caught up in regaining my breath I missed everything he was saying. The feel of his skin against mine had been explosive and it left tingles everywhere his hand had touched. 

"Hey," Baring whispered softly into my ear, "Are you ok?" 

I exhaled slowly and nodded. 

Baring rubbed slow circles onto the back of my wrist, "You can signal me if you are uncomfortable. You don't have to pretend to be ok." 

I turned my head slightly and looked at Baring. His eyes shone under the yellow glow of the setting sun and there was a gentleness that I had never seen before. A smile broke through on my face and I bumped into him. 

Baring looked into my eyes and his smile widened, "Ok great let's make some coffee." 

I looked away, covering the blood that rushed to my cheeks. Baring laughed softly as he guided my hand towards some knobs on the machine.He helped me make a frothy cup of coffee that tasted less like coffee and more like milk. I was deeply immersed in the action I forgot about my surroundings. I didn't notice until we were finished that all the other customers had left. Baring had managed to distract me from the crowd and my thoughtslonger than anyone had ever had. 

 I smiled as I waved goodbye at him. The day hadn't been that bad. Kennedy smiled as we settled into her car. She sent out one last text before she switched on the ignition and eased out of the parking lot. 

"Feel free to thank me anytime." Kennedy said, glancing in my direction. 

I looked down at the warm cup in my hands. My cheeks warmed up as the fresh memories floated around in my head. 

"I am still angry at you for tricking me into going there." I said with no malice in my voice. 

Kennedy shrugged and sipped from her cup before putting it back in its holder. 

"Were you going to be doing anything interesting if you were home?" She asked.

I looked down at my coffee and smiled again, "No, I wouldn't have been doing anything interesting." 

"Exactly. The best part is Grind me up smells better."

"It smells like coffee grounds and freshly baked bread. We could have made coffee and baked our bread at home if you wanted the scent that much."  

Kennedy laughed, "And miss my brother awkwardly flirting with a boy he can't talk to? Never." 

I rolled my eyes and leaned back in the passenger seat. I thought about Baring's soft smile, a smile I hadn't seen before until today and in that moment, my hands itched with the need to sketch him like that. I curled my fingers against the coffee we made. Closing my eyes I savoured the memory one more time.