Then I grab my old-fashioned mobster gun and head to create a diversion while my crew robs them blind.

While maniacally laughing, I crash from the coffee and get arrested, only to be bailed out by my goons.

Anything of value was robbed from the bank, including jewelery and fancy diamonds and such.

We sell it on the black market, making enough money to bribe everyone in the trial into letting us walk free.

Then, I finish my great work:

I have paid off any and all debts, my money is enough to make money sitting in the bank,

I can pay for my brother's wedding, I can buy nice outrageous clothing,

And I can take that cute barista (remember them from the start of this story?) Out to lunch. The End.