When
her shift was over, it was time for dinner. When she sat down, she was
glad to see that Them joined her for dinner again. She said smugly, “What? Put
off by your usual friends?” Pollyanna asked, looking over at Eory, Eliita, and
Terran, who were all laughing joyfully.
Them gave her a lopsided smile, taking a deep swig of his wine. “Yeah, they’re all a little bit too cheerful of late. Can’t stand their company. I thought I’d sit at the gloomy table while I’m feeling so gloomy.”
Pollyanna snickered so much that she snorted.
Them blinked rapidly, shocked by the snort. “I don’t know if I’m more shocked by you laughing, or more shocked that you snort when you laugh too much,”
Pollyanna covered her mouth in embarrassment. Them was looking at Eory and grinning. “You should see the look of jealousy on Eory’s face. I think he still wants to be the one to make you laugh after all this time. I have to wonder… do you really hate him so much?”
Pollyanna momentarily looked at Eory to see him making the most petulant face, and it made her snort like a pig again. “Shouldn’t he be pining over that… that Maruka?” Pollyanna said. “And no, I don’t hate him. I’m just taking your advice, Them. I’m trying to step away from the Arrozans, even if momentarily.”
Them grinned. “Wow. I can’t believe I had an influence on the Arrozan Sword. Is that what you’ve been doing all this time? Trying to find out who you are without the interference of the Arrozans?”
Pollyanna took a sip of her own wine. “I suppose so… I’ve actually…”
Them’s eyes lit up. “You’ve actually?”
Pollyanna shook her head. “Never mind. I think I’m done eating.” Pollyanna stood up and left the mess hall before Them could say anything. She headed to the small, man-made garden that was maintained by magic within the fortress. When she arrived at the close space, she was relieved to see that the flowers she had arranged yesterday were still there.
She had arranged purple, yellow, and pink flowers so that they spelled out the name, Deforest. Now, she arranged them so that they spelled Fjorn.
Her heart pounded at another thing she was about to arrange. Something about spelling his name created butterflies in her stomach and made her feel beyond guilty, and yet…
She arranged the flowers again. She stood up.
Rory.
Pollyanna turned away, swallowing tears, and then headed to bed. While she was disrobing, there was a knock on her door. She paused in her undressed and got re-dressed.
She opened it and was stunned to see Eory behind it. She debated slamming the door in his face, but Eory fearlessly stepped inside her room, looking up at her with determined eyes. “I’m only going to be in here for a moment.” Eory said.
Pollyanna crossed her arms, waiting to hear what he had to say. His hands were hidden behind his back; she wondered what he was hiding.
Eory looked down, his eyes tearful and regretful. “I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for… giving you hope. I just want to be your friend.” Eory left, then, and Pollyanna was left alone with her thoughts.
With a huff she crawled into bed.
She had trouble sleeping the first hour; her cruel thoughts led her to thinking about the same memory over and over again. A memory when Rory was alive and something he had told her that was on her mind of late.
It had been one of the occasions where Kline was out of town, and Pollyanna was able to see Rory without fear. When she had seen him on this occasion, she was sitting with him by a peaceful stream, dipping her feet in.
Sometimes the pair were very talkative, and other times, they were quiet, just enjoying each other’s company. At that moment, they were enjoying the quiet. But eventually, Pollyanna caught Rory staring at her adoringly. She blinked, forever wondering what he saw in her. “What is it?”
Rory looked at her hair intently. “I was just thinking… I think your hair might look good short. I don’t know why you feel the need to hide behind it like a shield.”
Pollyanna shrugged. “I don’t know. It hides my face.”
“But your face is beautiful.” Rory countered.
Pollyanna smiled, overwhelmed by his sweetness. Even if he was just saying that, it still warmed her heart. “Kline likes it long… I might get into trouble if I cut it.”
Rory nodded. She knew he was wishing he could save her from her wicked husband—but he didn’t need to. Just knowing that he wanted to made her feel saved already.
“At any rate, you should cut your hair because you want to, or you should keep it long because you want to. Whatever choice you make, it should be your own.” Rory’s voice soothed her.
It soothed her even as she finally managed to drift into sleep. Rory was the only other person other than Eory who encouraged her to be independent—to live for herself and no one else.
The thought was terrifying.
But it was also inspiring.
When Pollyanna woke up, the first thing she did was cut her hair.
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