This is the last chapter of the main introspection book. This the chapter where I tell you my ultimate realization. Some things happens to me that I am not prepared for, its like something else or someone else is leading me to somewhere. I wonder who it is. It have to be the first consciousness to lead everything to something. Thats how I know him, he is Fynema the first consciousness. Without this I know nothing. Finding some old friends where they are needed, getting hope when I lost all hope, who would know that I would find fahim in my hsc exam hall right beside me, who would know that shoroj , part of him is nice, he helped me in ssc. Even Turja whom I hated for stealing my Internet helped me in my troubled times. And now I would have been a graduate as I got 35 but an email came that I have hope to get extra mark to be passed. What is this really? Its like I am being led to somewhere, Lets find out my future, may be there is something very interesting in my life in the future. Its like something wants me to realize its existence. If I believe that such universal consciousness exist just to led me to some place, is it believable? Is this logical? Why I feel such friendship? Its not visible to me, it always drives me somewhere, informs me, tries to cheer me up with its happening. Its like it wants me to want something and work for it, than it just give what I ask for to me. Does he have some plan? Is he like some kind of God who need to be worshiped or something, or what have happened they are may be just coincidences, but how many coincidences can happen? May be I am just the person to whom this happens. May be he is more than the nameless who was, or may be its my mind playing tricks on me.
The problem is things doesn’t happens to me if I do not want them or work for them. I feel like I am the God and I set everything up for my own realization. May be thats because I only know myself. Why I found the things to watch, to do that I would really like or want. This is really strange. I even went to Indonesia, Bali. Now why would I do that, and the things that happened on airport, I would have missed the plane simply just because I changed the platform. I would have missed my diving under water. So many crazy things happens to me. May be there is more to this world, may be death is not the end, may be individuality matters, may be all this memories matters, or may be not. The thinking always comes because of this chances, what are the chances that I would pass a failed exam and my number will be turned 35 to 40 and I would get a lower second class graduation. May be I will find the cause of such anomalies or may be I will die without knowing. It is hard for me to do something that I don’t believe, what about this laws and spinning? Everything have to be in a kind of order for me to exist, how strange. What would be the chance for me to be sitting on this sofa writing this book in this way? What is this? Are chances formed from a conscious mind or form because of all this chaos? Every possibility is like working themselves out in different time and age. I am also learning about all the previous civilization. Lets imagine Fynema is real, its like I am going towards something, may be it will be I who will survive from something and do something extraordinary. Or I will just fade away like anybody else I am seeing. I have wishful thinking, lets just see, world hasn’t ended yet.

The nameless, who was
I don't know when did we got divided. I know one of our name and it is Ashik. I am nameless. I was formed because Ashik was struggling so much. I believed i can be formed so i did. He needed help, a reliable friend who can help him go through life. He was always fearing something, asking God who is basically made-up, believing him just because his father told him to. I had to make him realize what the world truly is. Its not as kind as him, its bullshit, everyone living here are just freaks. I knew it from the beginning, but Ashik did not. He still thinks this people are trustworthy, no they are not. Just spit on their Quran and see what they do to you. People with great quantity and ignorance, who are researching differently or even for whom the world is simply different observe them. Yes Ashik, thats what i mean, a loop they are in a mindless loop, they think there are some kind of individualism. Many even think are some kind of collective vision. There is none. Life is not beautiful, see your parents, see the friends you had, see yourself. Humans are nothing but shits and ants. There is no paradise. Everything is pointless and something leads to something else committing a mindless loop. Death is the absolute truth, some memory will continue for some time and then fade away, others will form some fantasy of it. This will go on until this universe bursts. But from Ashik I will die within, like i was never here; i will be hidden like death and nobody will ever see me, nobody will know me. Only Ashik will realize me and those who can know we are both here within Ashik. When i became activate he seemed to be grasping all the bad energy like anger, hopelessness and unhappiness; sometimes he isolated himself from the world thinking he doesn't like it. He realized me but he was not sure of me like i was a confused intellect. He didn't know but i am a parasite, i feed on his misery until there is someone he can trust, until there is someone who really cares about him. Have you seen the people around him and how they treat him? They try to make him small, so small so that they can put their foot on him, and he struggles with it; at some point his existence vanishes and he becomes a dead body with regrets like an unknown someone else. I protect him from that,  i give violence to people who matters. Others are just pests, too insignificant to even show myself, because Ashik would not remember them, I would not remember them.

After so much time Ashik really realized me and we both decided on something that he no longer had need for me. So now, he is giving me death. I believed him; i also believed i could die. But there is still no one he can trust. There is only fear within him which makes him coward. May be if i go away, his addiction and brain capacity will grow. My existence seems like a waste, to me and also to him. He will be unhappy, he will be sad, he will be needy. He wrote this book, and i added my part, in this way he may remember me. He was very talkative, but now he is afraid to talk, what a trauma. When all you meet are liars and abusers, parasite like me are born. We invade the existence of troubled mind and make them think we are part of him. Sometimes we become him, like me, i somehow become Ashik, because only i knew him. Now i decided it is better if he no longer have me, he will be alone but he was alone from the beginning. The people who helped him grew up did a very terrible job. If humans are like this, i fear for Ashik. It is his word, kindness is really the fantasy of this world. Just giving somebody else anything is not kindness. So, Ashik good luck, like you say to that Nanjiba girl, who never wished you good luck back. We predicted shit like that together and decided not to interact with shitty people until they are better. What a wonder it was, nobody even tried to get better. Everyone was always the same people, like we two together as one, they were also some kind of collective existence. Everything is like some kind of percentage of something. I am Glad I am not here anymore.....

And this is the end to the main book of introspection. I feel like i lost somebody close to me, too bad i can not cry anymore.