Read BOI :: Part 1: Individuals [7]

151. Whenever you are making a law you have to realize you are making the law about you, if others are not following you that does not mean they are criminals. Do not practice absolute power against them because majority can always become a minority and a minority can always become a majority.

152. If you have secrets don't keep them in one place. Don't make it easy for your opponents. One can just come and coincidentally find them or they can find them because of the effect of the structure wave of Fibonacci ratio. You have seen breaking bad and fringe, you have read harry potter and watched them. Use those knowledge. Man can do much in a very short time. Don't just surrender, if you have an idea at least work for it.

153. The dark sides of your consciousness are watching meaning where there are none and pretend you have found something.

154. I try to think about my life, what would be changed if i have made different decisions. Would i have been a different person? My mother thinks that she can just come in front of me with her stupid face and spread her stupid conversations. I am very glad that i am more conscious than her. She irritates me so much that i want to do something to her. The most irritate i get when she tries to consider me as her body part. Most of the times i am feeling she is trying to give me a heart-attack. I know how aweful living is, breathing oxygen by the seconds and eating, shitting, fucking. They think they can convince me on how beautiful life is. I am not telling it because i am depressed, life is not good. It never was. Filling up needs and making others your companions feels just like a story. Then there are this ideas. If i die now, i will not have any regrets except that i haven't finished watching one piece. Kissing ass is the worst. I have to show them they are above me. I am not sick, i just see the absolute truth. When there are billions of people living the same life, existence does not matter anymore. Even the universe throws rock on the planet to cause a mass extinction.

155. Sometimes what everyone believes become the truth. People becomes savages to protect their beliefs. You need to change, you can not just wait and see what happens. You need to find someone who will connect you to the world.

156. Once i tried to understand people who are not me. Everyone that i met disappointed me. I tried to get their attention, nobody seemed to notice me. I was stupid to think, others are same as me. They will only smile at you when they need to, they will play you when they feel like it. I started writing an epic called Mega-Villain, and while writing it i found something strange. Whatever i did, it seems i could not change whatever was going to happen. Everything felt like a calculation. Then i thought there must have been a first consciousness, for that consciousness everything kind of going towards an outcome, there is only cause and effect. I called that consciousness fynema. Everything was its harvest. In this harvest there is something called the structure wave. It is not destiny, but some idea that everything have to fall on that calculation. Thats why in the law of the universe, universal constants exist. I heard about the Issac Asimov foundation books, there exist a robot who had produced some kind of calculation for hari sheldon to find, called psycho-history. But this calculation is not like that. This calculation seemed to me a result of a conscious mind, a natural equation. What is this equation i don't seem to understand yet but i think i will.

157. I will not forget my father who left me, my mother who left me. I will not forget the people who betrayed me or tried to betray me. This peoples prove the reality of human nature. If i ever get power i will ensure that human kind never exist. Everything in this universe is false. I like some unique nakedness that does not mean i will save this universe just for that. I as the ambassador of all human kind vote for its extinction. Nothing in this universe can change my mind.

158. As i am living as a male i know how female can be a symbol of purity and dirtiness. Thats Why it hits the morals of killers. Most serial killer s loves to kill females.

159. Existence is a field. It keeps everything around it alive. It has a sense to end every threat, a sense of balance and to protect. Now feel your field of magnetism and you will evolve.

160. I went to them after so many years and they didn't even see me. That fat black ugly girl did the same thing to me, i did to the people weaker than me. Those who are strong in something will bully the weaker ones. They were my friends and then they were just bullies. What is the point of their life. Doing the same thing every day, breathing like they are going to change something and yet they are the same. From the beginning. Everything is in the position, just you wait, you will see all the wrongs. If you think everything is about gaining experience and building memories, you should know your future. Everything will just fade away.

161. My brother is only interested in proving me wrong somehow. Is it his ego or something. I noticed something like this in so many people. Why they want to prove me wrong? I know that everything is binary like yes or no, exist or does not exist, possible or impossible, male or female. Only conscious wants to think of them as one single level. But we are not one single level. We are diverse. If you are right indicate others are wrong, or do you not realize it. Being wrong feel like becoming a criminal. It hits their egos and pride. Most attack the absolute beliefs.

162. I am the one who closes his eyes and see this traumatized events. I ask myself, why i am me? When i see their emotions i copy them but my emotions become extreme. I want to die yet i don't want to. I don't want to produce and i don't want to be someone. I don't want to be in this world. I just want to fade away. I want to open my eyes without anything. And still everything haunts me. Lets just assume i make many friends, i make girlfriends. Will i be happy? I am just so angry because of this people. Why i am the only one who thinks? Let me go, i didn't want to be here. Just let me go. I pray to you, let me go Ashik. I don't want to be you. I don't want to be a human. I don't want to exist. I am feeling so much pain on each breathing, so just let me go. Only cause and effect does not prove Fynema. There was no first consciousness who put you here like this. Everyone before you have thought many things, yours is just like them. There is nothing more to this world but nakedness only your thoughts can get fulfilled. There is nothing more to it but obsession. Look at your brother, is he any different than others? Look how he confronts you. You have to fight to get respect even from him. He told your cousins about you exercising without your clothes. Who Among this people is really your friend or a good companion? You don't have any connections with this world, you don't even feel any connections. The only connection you feel is all made up and fantasy. How can you exist with this sad truth? Your siblings are like same consciousness but with different percentage of thoughts. How can you live when everything here is annoying and irritating. Is it because they are jealous? I don't see anything more from this life but the fulfillment of needs. Am i wrong Ashik? Don't you see through this illusion? Don't you see if you need a purpose to live, why live? Is it because you don't want to die? Are you enjoying your depression. Staying isolated, becoming anti-social. I noticed the more and more you are becoming fearless and hollow. You are becoming someone else entirely. Then let me just go. I am afraid of life. Don't make me live it with you. Ask others to be with you. I will just hold you back. Remember i cried in front of your father. I am not good for you. Whatever everyone did, at least my brother didn't left me, he is always with me. He did have the option to go and live with my father. May be he didn't thought of it or may he didn't have this option.i am sure he will also leave me when he have this option. Let just see when he gets it. Or may be i am just getting all the wrong speculation. My problem is nobody really inspired me, i have to think everything on my on. When my father was my father he used to deal everything with money, hired someone and put me in some situations. There was no room for me to figure out what i could do. And now i am just repeating the same thing.

163. My individuals speak up. Tell me what do you think of life. What is there for life? Memories get forgotten, constructions get
destroyed, relationships get broken. You think the only accomplishment is to produce children? For what for humanity to reach its final evolved form Buddha or god? A civilization can not be succeed when there are people with different personalities. People think evolving is the ultimate form of life, moving on or change? Most people think life only needs peacefulness and war only cause the destruction. Even the ideas bring chaos until another idea pops up for it to do the same. May be the universe only care about the numbers. The more the number is the more its likely that it will survive. But what about when the bigger thing is the planet. Even the dinosaurs were filled with numbers and even they didn't survive. Its not like they went to another planet or did they? So what's the point of anything? Do Existence wants to create its own child? Do this thing have a will, why the formation only sides with the better and complex version of itself? Our brain has its own unique language, our brain communicates with our body with that language. We construct everything with that language, we convert it to our mother-tongue or other language to communicate with each other. That brain language is a pattern, the pattern appears like a mathematical appearance. The pattern is the signature of our true consciousness. We feel our consciousness through our emotions. Thats why when you don't feel your emotions you feel empty. So what is the pont of experience this world when everything we gather will be destroyed anyway?

164. Ashik do you remember that twink, you should have been angrier. He was trying to make you obey. And you were the one buying the Sim. Remember Arafat, the worst roommate you had. You should not have go after the bottle. Lets be honest, you made some wrong choices. Be the most you, you are. Those people you don't want to be like them leave your ancestors from your EXISTENCE. Repair your DNA. You lost your confidence, regain it. The worst thing is you could die, the good news is you don't have any fear or do you?

165. You will not love only one thing when you find other things to love. Those who things life is just for having fun stay away from them. What is the point of having fun when everything is forgettable. You are not even meant to do anything. Its only your consciousness that wants to connect everything. It like when everything connect themselves creating a destiny or the way of structure wave, the wish of fynema. You are wrong if you think everything is always at the right place at the right time. There are some laws you should remember law 1, everything is a percentage; it is either above or below or sometimes balanced. Law 2, everything will be forgotten and the only thing it will take is time. Law 3, communication gives you advancement, the more the number the powerful you can become. Those who goes only for fun sometimes become the creatures of evil.

166. Some people just want you to be the leader so that they can just rip the benefit of you. Study this people, you will see how they are. You should know, nothing is new but their faces.

167. One day one of my teacher asked me to tell him about Adam and eve and... I just stopped. I could see everything clearly. Everyday doing the same things, listening to others and begging for the knowledge of others. I realized how they can treat me to fill their personal satisfaction. It was so clear, that if i die today there will be a time when no one will remember me. Every ideology will be replaced by new ones. The People i am and the people i see around me are just ghosts waiting to fade away. Everything was so clear, then again human practice something called competition. Which means if others have children i need to have them too. If others have girlfriend i need to have them too.
The result was always zero and it always will be. Nothing in this world is real, it never was. The only thing i feel real is me.

168. You want the world to be in your own image. What if you are born again, you want the world to appreciate you in a way that you are not left out. You don't want to be born in a world where people just ignores you. So what can you do to make the world a better place where you can be anyone or anything and still you will have everything and you can do everything. That is the new order... (What if people did not have any selfishness and there exist only true freedom. All human emotions have been abolished and a new society is created. Here all people live in the same way, Anyone can have anything and be anything. All people look like the same and they all have same body and wish. There is no collective consciousness but individualism. Anyone can live anywhere and be anywhere.
There is no shame or shyness., there is nothing to hide or any curiosity. Many who lives in 2021 would have seen that society boring as hell. But such society will always be fair and true equality will be there, as there is no single want in stead peoples need will be considered to be fulfilled. They will enjoy life in a new way and in a perfect way.
However people are not here like that. They have to be artificially modified. The problem is there will be no change in that society. Change is what made us survive this long, those who don’t change fades away. High population is not always suitable to preserve life because it can always be a threat to itself. Unfairness rises where there is competition and difficulty. If something is a possibility it will happen somewhere. The universe is a tricky one, it feels like a system; a system of possibility. And yet not everything is possible.)