Read BOI :: Part 1: Individuals [8]

169. If you are the one who stares will always be in fear, you will always need the privacy. You will always be in search looking here and there, you will feel the need to cover all the peepholes.

170. Vampires eating human, you saw it and thought that you are glad that it was not you. Somebody dies and it is your mind that need to be settled. Fucking humans. Existence need better conscious entities. Better than human.

171. They come to me and ask me to give them a chance. I give them their chance and they ignore me and disappoint me. They undermine me and crash my soul. Such action makes me angry, makes me ISKK. In my ISKK i feel my blood boiling like hell. I cannot think but cause destruction. No lives matters, only wish of me then is the eclipse. My flow of life which i call Riah finds ISKK as the alternative.

172. In one piece the world government has a propaganda to erase history that is not suitable or inspiring for wrong crowd. Now people in the real world making such actions like cancel culture and erasing the history of how we got here. You like it or not a history is not going to change, the one thing that can change is your version of that history. You want to create this world into your own image, well you can not have it because you are not the only one living in this earth but the 8 billions of us. You are not dead that does not mean people are not dying from corona. Whatever you say slavery was there, oppression was there, Hitler killed all those Jews, Pakistan raped our ancestors and your stupid teachers got you outside your class just because you couldn't correctly inputted a stupid formula. You can make the true history the villain of your story but whatever you do, it will always be in your memory and feelings.

173. I thought i could spend my life with great stories and concepts with moments of pure entertainment after watching stories like one-piece. Still the stories with greatest start ends up with disappointment. As a fan i could see how a story could have been immortal but the creators can't see it. Why can't they just mapped the story from the the start to a greater ending. Can't they see how their story will be forgotten if it lose both human feelings and logics from it. You can't just killed off a main character without any proper plot connection to it. You have to create a proper connection to form the unique platform, otherwise you are destroying your own story. When you gain consciousness about those memories and feelings you can not say anything because its too late.

174. Why should you respect your educational institute teachers? You family is paying them to teach you, its not like they know something only they can teach. You are like their boss but you can't do anything to them, they are the ones punishing you and giving you work. You are respecting them because they know something better than you or just because they are older? Or they are in control? Yes control, the whole world wants to control you. Thats how people becomes criminal, rapist and murder. That is how violence is introduced. Its the Bangladesh educational institute that promotes the first violence. We know our children will grow up someday and will go beyond our control, still we produce them and send them to this institutes to learn violence. I wish i didn't exist, world without love feels dull. Now i know love is thing that does not exist, some people who wants to keeps their family together brainwash the others thinking it exists. The more i live the more i become frustrated, i can just die if death was easy. I am a slave of my own will and i can't escape it so easily.

175. Farzana and her family made me realize the family of other can not be your family. They will always want more of you or they try to abuse you. If you want a family, you have to build your own. Without your mother, no one will help you from your mother's side and without your father no one will help you from your father's side. If there is any human who surpasses this condition they are the Supremes. If you want friends, build friendship with the Supremes. They will always try to help, they will also mention if something is out of their hands with feelings and logic. Not like your Salam.

176. Why did you regret what you did when akash told you that you didn't put water on the toilet. You remember you did but why you put words like a human. You asked akash if he put chocolate on your bed and he regretted the idea but why you are doing It. Why you are asking for attention when you know you are better than human condition. You know you are the hier consciousness but you are effected by humans like akash. Why you have to even talk to him. Find your own true equals to share your ideas. Don't waste your time on your family named pathetic s. You don't care about them anymore. The more you fear for you time passing the more you are being attached. I know you would have left them years ago, but why you don't know anything better. What you are waiting for, world will not go forward without you. This world love you, you are the blueprint of this universe. Of you feel sick the world will be sick. So be the God you are supposed to be. Don't be a lesser human when you can always be the better compare to anything or anyone.

177. I was waiting to write MegaVillain and it was happening bit by bit. The whole story didn't came to me as a whole but as smaller parts. I know to win i have to try to win. I can not think otherwise, i can not do otherwise. I have to search for it to find it. What Fynema does? It eat every molecules to build its cells. From the very beginning it is building its own body with the stories of the universes. In its body there are realities after realities. Characters or things with similarities are categorized as different body cell tissues. For earlier chapters you need more characters and more story essence.

178. Remember your bastard father, there was time for him to call strangers in midnight to ask them if they woke up in Ramadan for sehri. He never called you to know if you woke up and had your sehri while you were in Dhaka. You used to call this guy everyday. You rooted for this guy all your life, now you realized you were just a slave to him. Break your thread of slavery. You don't have to agree with anyone else's ideology. Remember you have your own ideology which is " you are free." There is no such thing as family, society, relationships or anything. Every thing here is made up to use your consciousness for them. You don't have to live for them. Do what you want, ashik. Nothing or no one in this world is any close to equal to you. If they want to hurt you show them the cost. You are God, you are Buddha. Every around you is there for you. You just have to be able to get what you want. Like you have the hand and thats why you can touch or feel anything with it. What to touch and what to feel you need to figure out for your self. Now scream.

179. People always want to replace the person they are with, when those people for the ride gets boring. My father replaced us with his daughter, i tried to replace my mother, sadia tried to replace fahim. But we all know if you truly know someone, you will not succeed on replacing him or her. I know my brother can't replace me as his brother. For me i am the one and only. Nobody can replace me. some people did replace me, like sharoj and others. May be they weren't my life at the first place and deep down somehow i knew. I felt them and from the beginning there was nothing but i gave them chances anyway. And look where it got me. People riping me off in the knowledge of knowing me or other relationships. That is why you can not be stupid Ashik. We agree, all of us. We are your true friends because we are you, so trust us when we say, stay out of false life, it will only hurt you. Build your own life where you are the order, like you are for us.

180. When i first failed in my honors first year i saw how people are when you are broken. How they treat you. I always wanted to know it and see it and it was given to me. I was in a position to determine the true value of life. Life is, without my eyes i can't see.

181. The only problem that people don't notice you is because there are more of them. The only answer of that why, maliha didn't ask you about your life further. A society without violence and with order give rise to woman. You could have been the one pursuing the goal. If you were accepted by one person you could have changed the world. People were always there to undermine you. Tell me who stayed with your problems. It was only us and you. All of these people left if there was conditions. You just needed only one person to become stable and one. But they have to eat and feed, so they broke you. One one parent who could have loved you, only one friend who could have stayed with you, only one human who could have known that you are a human. Only one human to cheer you up, there was no one. Nothing was on their position, there was no structure wave or the way of fynema. Yes everything was making you a stone cold person inside. May be you were that annoying, may be they sensed that you didn't want to talk. I liked my father may be because he cheered me up after ssc. And that was it. After that he just let me go, may be because he had his farzana after thats why. I thought my father was different, wow, that changed. When i think about other peoples i just want to die, even when i think about myself i just want to die. Thats why we individuals are here for you. We will handle life for you. We are from all those memories that was your life. The people around you created us. Those people abandoned you, made you someone who didn't tried. Your depression is real. If you are God living amongst man, why keep all this people in this world when you are alone anyway.

182. One of my My favorite genre Movies
Cinematic torture: where the audience is the victim
1. A Serbian film
2. irreversible
3. Martyre
4. Funny Games
5. Incendies
6. The passion of the christ
7. Old boy
8. Mother
9. The skin i live in
10. We need to talk about kevin
11. Seven
12. American beauty
13. Antichrist
14. Happiness
15. Kill list
16. Requiem for a Dream (2000)
17. Cannibal Holocaust (1980)
18. SalÃ², or 120 Days of Sodom (1975)
19. Audition (1999)
20. Avengers infinity war

After creating this list i realized i enjoy the feeling of regret.

183. Remember the gas inspector, you need to be smart. Don't be afraid, you should ask them if they have eaten or not from the very beginning. Every one thinks they are human and they think they are right. Don't be a pussy, find something, try to figure out stuffs about this people. They have family and status in society. They will always try to out smart you, you just have to outsmart them. If they want to leave, let them leave. The only thing you need to do is figure out a connection that will lead to the success. Next time you need to find the guarantee, video everything that everyone is doing to you.

184. People who follows you, if they have mind of their own, or you are making them smarter, they will criticize you when you are showing to be unable.

185. Once i thought i had everything and everyone, then it was the people i knew or care about. After some time, i only had myself. Now i realized I don't want anything at all. Every thing and everyone are just nothing, even me. I will care if i am required to, beyond that i will always choose myself over everything. Everyone made me that way, so be it. I will just follow some rules. The one thing i want to do is erase everything and everyone in existence. I have lived this life, i know what it is. Nothing is beautiful, nothing is helpful. So, let there be God, the highest form of consciousness. It will understand, why everything is just a percentage and why everything and everyone need to be erased. Even once i thought survival was everything. If i was not in my room like this, i would have died. I exist that means God doesn't...yet. the gas inspector told me he was also human, if we are all human then no human deserves to live anyway.

186. The more you are, the less are the options. And I don't like competition. So empathy does not exist where i have to cry for everyones mother. Because the number numbs my feelings.

187. Remember when you tried to tell a joke and you got only one vote from apu. Even your then best friend didn't vote for you. You realized how alone you are. You were the only one laughing at your own joke. That's when you realized shoroj was not your best friend after all and you needed it to get rid of him as a friend. Then some days later he took you to the canteen to feed
all of your classmates yet you didn't have enough money. Now do you see how everything is failed you? It's every relationship parenthood brotherhood friendship everything everyone society and people. Everything makes sense now all of them needs to be erased from existence.
188. Take all of their hopes until one remains and they will believe God. The only thing you need is one believer and soon the others will follow.

189. When a great power fights another great power, from a whole perspective morality wins.

190. Remember when you tried to tell a joke and you got only one vote from Apu. Even your then best friends didn’t vote for you. You realized how fake friendship really is. You were the only one laughing at your jokes. Thats when you saw sharij was not your true friend and you needed to get rid of him as a friend. Then after you refused the movie, he took you to the canteen to feed all those classmates and you didn’t have enough money. They gave you their famous sorry look. It was not you who failed them, it was them who failed you. It was everything that failed you. Parenthood, brotherhood, friendship,, Society, people, everything. Everything makes sense now. All of them needs to be erased from existence.

191. Once I was called out by one of me and lets call him God. I told him, I wanted this and that. He said, “whatever you want you will get, but what about when everything that you want comes with conditions. You live in such a nature of existence which is not your version of paradise. Here you may get everything, and everything may satisfy your need, still you will be a slave, you will cry and you will beg.

192. You will only take the bait of stupidity when you don’t have enough knowledge or experience.

193. Remember Farzana, when she tried to make you feel the guilt on the eid day with your connection to your father. Curse upon this creature and everything she is connected with her subjective good will. May she suffer all the eternity.