252. Well, where is your father? He is living with another family. This gives me the ultimate truth about humanity, it is wrong. Everything about existence is wrong.

253. There are just so many people and i have to compete for everything.

254. At this point you are all my storytellers and i am the observer.

255. This people just remember some of my word to spite me in the future.

256. Those who are true will know zoro as buddha, others will identify him only as a swordsman. They will name it as a system and make you its slave.

257. They come to you to make you feel less than you are, so reject them. They come just to show how wrong you are, so tell them to get lost.

258. When you are talking to them imagine them to be lower than you, only then you can find the confidence.

259. I was broken and nobody was there for me. Cost me many portion of my life. So i decided to build the own me and filter everyone out. I am filtering myself, yes i am filtering myself.

260. This is the filter of the world, it comes to wipe you settlers, to make the survivors to go further, closer to the ultimate goal of life which is the use.

261. Yaap my decision is final. Kill their child fynema. Make their life as unfortunate as possible. They deserve this. This is the end for them. And now you know your feelings do not matter. All those regrets and all those sadness, you are just invisible. Why do you feel like it. May be because the people who pretend to love you does not love you. You feel invisible because they make you feel invisible. They don't want any part with you. If you die today there will be no one who will cry for you. You have done so much for them physically and emotionally and they do not bother to talk to you. And when they talk just to curse you and do evil things. This is the end for them. Let them all die a lonely and horrible death. It is time to live your own life. Look in front of you, your father was never your father, he never tried to know you. Do not feel any guilt or regret. You are not sorry. Here i announce as your true creator that the future will be dark and nothing in this world matters. You have felt the ultimate loneliNess and death. Although nobody else will understand but you are free. If you want to do something great you can no longer wait. For a great future make your self busy. Remember there are always alternatives.

262. You can not be irresponsible and expect everyone else to be responsible. I ignored or didn't even try to live my life because i always thought my father would be there. I tried to talk to him about how i was feeling less of myself. Now look at him he doesn't even care, may be he didn't care from the beginning.

263. You know what feeling i am talk about, ignore it when it come to you. It is time for you to reform. The feeling you get when it involves the people who wronged you, when you get it in the cinema hall.

264. It is because i am irresponsible, these people are keep tring to teach me responsibility. And not one of them tried to understand me, when they have their subjective version of the truth.

265. Reader, as you can see this is my mind, such dark and selfish. It cries for attention and it is quite unfriendly. It is quite unstable. I think i should change it somehow for some years until my retirement of life. Nothing good is happening, it just wants and i am just giving it. Lets be our trueself, evil and free. People do not need to hear about it or any of its opinion. Those who can endure you are your true friends and family. You can tell everything to me, i am the archive. Everything that was, is or will be is recorded  within me.

266. If you think that you are the one above all you are wrong. There are so many people who is better than you and there are so many who are worse than you.

267. If you dislike somebody, you can just find someone else or just leave. You don't have to say what he is doing is bad or he is just doing the wrong thing.

268. He created everything like this so that he can exist.

269. If your red is same as my red, then we are in the same reality.

270. You can do things for them just because you respect them but you will not do things because you are their slave.

271. Devil was an angel too.

272. I met the most evil man in history and it is my father. I want to see him suffer the worst possible kind of way. I want him to suffer his ultimate lost. I want him to cry and lose control. He thinks he can control me and everything. He thinks he is the one in charge. The most favourable to God? Universe, hear my song.... Crash his heart, calculate death to his daughter and wife before him. Make him lonely the way he made me lonely. I want him to understand how he treated me and my mother. Show him no mercy. He is not my father anymore, just a guy who should be forgotten. Universe, show him the path to hell. If he is no use to me, his soul should burn. (In October 2018, Within 3 years you will have an heart attack and you will die... My father will have an heart attack and someone present on that day before me will die.)

273. So many people, no different than how they lived 100 years ago. Something got easier and some things got worst. My feeling toward people completely changed when i realized my father used me to achieve his own goal. I hope corona reach everyone of them. Human lives are nothing. I feel like my whole life is a waste. This is how my father and other people made me feel. Completely suicidal. I feel no more sympathy for anyone, i just want to see this world burn.

274. The true nature of human always come forward. You stand up for your brother and he forgets you when he gets the invitation from your father. You can remember all the humans you met. Yes all of them tried to change you. But you know you can only evolve from where you are. Your existence will be formed closest to the higher consciousness. Your feelings are wrong when it involves trusting someone. You know you need a father who stand in front of you strong, not the one who hides behind Farzana.  You need a mother who can just love you against everything. If they don't like you the way you are they don't deserve you as you got them the way they are. Everything you do and you always come to the same conclusion that human kind needs to go extinct. Things that make you lesser than you are, truly evil. And evil needs to be erased for a greater future. From the moment evil comes to power freedom becomes lost. The one who is in charge gets the control. The more people are the less there will be freedom. Things that makes you lesser than you are will always be there unless you become the evil one and walk equal to their footing or more.

275. It seems the thought of my father keeps coming back to me. Things just repeat.

276. I was shivering on my bed and i was shivering on the stairs. I called for my father, and i saw the pure evil. He refused me his help and he refused me his presence. I called for his fatherhood, but i saw the pure selfishness. I started to question my existence, who am i and who are the others. They all want explanation but they don't want to give me one. The world just resets and i get only one companion which is Fynema.

277. When i say something it will happen, the question is to whom?

278. He thinks like this, "Be irresponsible and worship me. Do what i tell you to do and you will be happy. Do not question me and do not judge me. Whatever i do is for your own good." Why fynema, i am not being impatient. Do something, give me power. Why are you like this. From the very 1st year you made me suffer in one form or another. Why is that. I didn't tell you to give me existence. If you are making me stay in this world then listen to me. Bring my confidence back. Let me have some power, bring one death to any of those three. I have become quite unstable because of them. I want to get myself from them. I want to get what i lost from them. Moving on is not one of the option when i lose part of me because of them.

279. How it feels to be a joke ashik? Everyone used you. This is your bible isn't it. Yaah. "They consider me as ashik" that is what your brother said. It is time to be yourself.

280. People can never be changed. Thay Will do what they are supposed to do. They are trapped in the circle. So get out of it.

281. You will not be strong until you make your self strong.

282. One piece of the world was taken, One Piece of world is now the greatest secret. One piece of the world will only be found, when you gather the words that the people of that land left behind.
That One Piece of the world is everyone's dream, That one piece make the others gather and scream.
That one piece of the world is where the dawn will be brought, Laughter and Sake will be needed a lot.

283. I pray but i know there is no one to listen. I am just making myself Calm. That is what praying do.

284. Nobody choose what they are born into.

285. At the beginning everything was one and then the possibility of that one became infinite. The call of the void calls you, gives you more than one choice. Now will you jump or not.

286. Calm your mind and go towards your dream. Your dream is to be the free-est man alive from where you can be anything and do anything. To be the free-est you have to know what un-freedom is. You have to go to places where many others can’t go. You have to know things and be responsible like you tried to do 3 years before in October 2018.

287. I have completed my experiments with my family. The result is always zero. You can not do enough for your family. Thats why you should always be careful on who you select on your family or who you add as your family.

288. Yes you are a stupid guy. Others will always consider you a stupid guy until you prove them wrong. To be more you have to leave what you have right now. From today you are what you always dreamt of, so take the first step towards your freedom and laugh. 24/6/21

289. I stopped trying and I was going in the wrong direction. This cost me 1 year of my life. I was looking at wrong places. I still have time to redeem myself. Lets get ourselves back in this year. Nothing else really matters. To-be the free-est person I need money and power. I can not be like my father who depend on others just to use them.

290. Don't mind what they are saying, stick to your own argument. They want you feel regret and concede. And you want they to cry.

291. Living for others is not living at all. Sharing time with others may not be living your time. If you can live by yourself, you should try it more. May be you will feel that the world is going ahead of you, but the world is just taking the time from you in the name of progress. Yes economy needs to work and you won't feel the necessity of money until you need it. Just live your life in your own way, focus when you need to focus. You don't need all the people in your life, just those who appreciate you. And get rid of those who gives you sadness and frustration. You should live neutral to experience it. Having children doesn't make life a lot easier, children are not investments. Old days does not work in the modern world.

292. 21 August Saturday, 2021 I developed the personality of the teacher in my mind based on the maliha miss i had in college.

293. There is nothing more dangerous than when love becomes hate.