While Yashaadu Naj pondered, they made their way through several winding corridors and up a flurry of stairs. Finally, they stopped in front of a door that was flanked by two of his guards. The two men bowed in greeting and the student bid farewell before she left.

Yashaadu Naj stopped his musings and glanced out the window on the other side of the corridor, making sure to mind where their room was located. The Arcademy was a spacious place with hundreds of rooms located in several towers and separate buildings. It was easy to get lost inside if you were not living there for more than a few days.

Dayatar also glanced around, taking note of the dark blue carpet beneath their feet and the paneled walls. There were carvings on this wood as well, making him recoil.

Yashaadu Naj was pulled out of his thoughts by his movement and reached out, his hand touching the small of Dayatar’s back. "Let’s go inside." Out here, his husband would only get scared more. It was best to give him time to calm down first.

The guards moved to open the door at once, exposing a room that was similar to Elder Aeliann’s in how there were windows framing one wall and wooden furniture spread throughout. This room was missing the blankets and books and scrolls though.

Dayatar followed his husband inside, looking around to find out whether anything was out of the ordinary.

Yashaadu Naj let him. After looking around for a bit and realizing that everything was normal in here, Dayatar would be much calmer later on. In the meantime, Yashaadu Naj went to sit down, stretching his pair of long legs and looking at his husband appreciatively.

Dayatar really was the kind of beauty that could enchant a man. Especially when he showed the kind of expression he had on now: Curious but careful with his eyes slightly widened to not miss the smallest detail.

This kind of sight sure scratched at Yashaadu Naj’s heart. It reminded him of the first few days after Dayatar had entered his palace, how he would look at everything, unsure of what some of the things even were because he had never had the chance to see them outside.

At that time, while their own relationship blossomed, everything else had been too much for Dayatar just like now. He had needed time but given that, he had settled in. In fact, he had learned the rules of the court remarkably fast, and even when he started to teach him more from the history of Almakaar to the language of Romallia and that of their neighboring countries his husband had proven himself a quick study.

Dayatar was a beauty, yes, but he was also bright. After observing things for a while, he could fit in anywhere and if there was a need to know something, then telling him once was enough. It was a joy to watch.

Yashaadu Naj’s gaze softened unwittingly when he thought back to the past. Back at the palace, he had been preoccupied with his tasks. While he accompanied him as much as he could, especially in those early days, Dayatar was still left to roam alone for large parts of the day. Surely, that had made things more difficult for him.

Now, they were alone in a faraway place. There might be guards outside and servants waiting in close-by quarters in case he had a wish but right now, in this room, there were just the two of them.

He wanted to call Dayatar over, to pull him into his arms and hold him tightly. He wanted to reassure him that way, to show him that there was no reason to fear, and make things as easy as possible for him.

In the end, he did not move though and did not say a word. He knew from experience that he couldn’t always be there. So it was best to let Dayatar figure things out for himself first. That way, if he was alone in the future when presented with a new situation, he could confront it calmly.

Dayatar indeed continued to observe the room, taking note of the walls and the wooden furnishings with their carvings especially. Finally, he felt reassured that there was nothing that looked too dangerous. Even if these carvings could move, they should not stretch so far that they could grab onto him and his husband as long as they kept a safe distance between them.

Having made sure of this, he turned to see what his husband was doing and realized that Yashaadu Naj had long sat down. He wanted to throw himself to the ground in apology but his husband reached out a hand, inviting him to come over.

Dayatar’s legs trembled. Again. Once again, he had broken the rules of the court even though he had promised himself that he would do better. It seemed that even though he tried, he just couldn’t do it right. One moment of inattention and he would take a wrong step.

It was good that they were alone right now. If he imagined that this could have happened in front of other people instead … Who knew how long he had stood there, calmly surveying the room while his husband had been seated? It would have invited derision for sure.

Despite his shame, he walked over, taking the offered hand. He wanted to kneel down at his husband’s feet but before he could bend his knees, Yashaadu Naj leaned forward, grabbing him around the waist, and pulled him onto his lap.

Dayatar made a sound of surprise and held onto his husband’s shoulders for support. His heart pounded heavily in his ears and he felt disoriented.

Yashaadu Naj looked up at him, relishing in his expression. They seldom were this close outside of the time spent beneath the sheets. Dayatar would insist on following those aggravating rules until the last detail, rather putting a foot more distance between them before he did something wrong.

But sometimes, he managed to surprise him like this, gaining a moment where he could see him unguarded and where they were just a pair of husbands for once instead of the Kazahd and his subject. He really wished there would have been more times likes this but until Dayatar finally stopped wanting to follow the rules meticulously that wouldn’t happen. Which really was a pity.

Yashaadu Naj gave his husband a moment to catch himself before he reached up and brushed back the strands of black hair, smiling at him. "It was a long journey and this is a strange place, I know. But you need not worry. I will not let anything happen to you."

Dayatar nodded. He did not doubt this. Not for a moment. What his husband said was always true. He was a man of his word. And he had never once felt unsafe at his side. No, the Kazahd would always protect his people.

Yashaadu Naj’s smile brightened and he craned his neck, kissing his husband’s lips. It was only a fleeting touch but it calmed Dayatar’s frantic heartbeat. The tension in his body lessened and he nestled up against his husband’s chest. His eyelids lowered and he took a faint breath. If he were to close his eyes, he could even pretend that they were still at home and not in this foreign place.

Yashaadu Naj observed his expression. Seeing that his skin seemed to have regained some color, he locked his fingers behind Dayatar’s back, shifting him a little so he would sit more comfortably, while his expression turned serious. "Are you angry with me?"

"Angry?" Dayatar’s eyes opened and he looked at his husband in wonder, forgetting for once that he wasn’t supposed to do so. His mind was preoccupied, wondering how his husband could come up with such an idea. How could he ever be angry at him?

Yashaadu Naj realized that for once, those almond eyes were directly looking at him. His heart thumped. He hoped that Dayatar wouldn’t notice or his husband would lower his gaze or even his head for sure. If possible, he did not want this moment to end.

He requited his gaze as calmly as possible, faintly inclining his head. "Or if not angry, then perhaps you are upset with me?"

Dayatar hurriedly shook his head. Whether it was being angry or being upset, he wouldn’t dare to. He had no reason to either. Why would his husband think so? His brows furrowed faintly when he thought of that question and he tilted his head to the side, his gaze leaving Yashaadu Naj’s face.

The Kazahd felt a sense of loss and reached out, gently grasping Dayatar’s chin and tilting his head back around. "Naj-il, I grew up in the palace. I saw people follow the rules, bend them as far as they could, or break them outright. I know you want to follow them. If you could, you would do so all the time."

Dayatar seemed unsure of what to think of that. He just looked at his husband in confusion, not knowing where he wanted to go with this.

"I sometimes ask of you to ignore them. I usually make sure that it is when we are alone, so you will feel comfortable with it. But I know that it is my selfish desire to have you do this."

Dayatar immediately shook his head. In his eyes, his husband could not be selfish.

Yashaadu Naj ignored it though. His husband’s thoughts on the matter, he knew them all too well. "The rules are still new to you. You want to follow them at any time because you are afraid to forget yourself for a moment. You think that if you never make any exception, then no accidents can occur.

"You are probably right. But while I am Kazahd, I am also just a man deep inside. I long to spend moments like this with you. I want to hold you, to look into your eyes, to have you speak up and tell me even if you are unhappy with me. Yes, sometimes, I just want to be a normal man. Your husband. Just that."

 Yashaadu Naj’s words reminded Dayatar that he should not have looked and he already wanted to look away when the rest of his husband’s words sank in. He hesitated, then raised his eyelids again, looking at him for a moment before he lost the courage again.

Yashaadu Naj sighed deeply. He had known this would happen. He kind of regretted it but then again, it was important to say this. "Well, I know it is difficult for you. If you can’t do it yet, I will not force you. Just take your time. Maybe in the future, you will be able to look me in the eyes and sit with me like this regularly. I would certainly welcome it.

"For today, let me apologize to you."