Better natural or synthetic?
That was the first message ever that Theo received from Liam,
and he stared at it for a good minute wondering what the hell his
problem was.
He was just about to ask him when Josh called him from the end of the hallway, so Theo quickly locked his phone before slipping it into his pocket.
"Hey dude" Josh joined him running with a big smile on his face that didn’t bode well.
"Hey" Theo greeted him, keeping walking to the locker room to get ready for the lacrosse practice.
"You know, I was talking to the guys at lunch and - this year's usual party at your house for Christmas, right?" Josh exclaimed excitedly. "I've already found a guy who sells alcohol under the table to minors" he added in a whisper, blinking.
Theo winced for a moment. He slapped himself mentally. Right, the party . How could he not have thought about it? It had become some kind of a tradition for some years. Since his father always left for a couple of days with his coworkers for Christmas, and he couldn't bring him with him, Theo got the whole house to himself. After all, Theo was used to looking after himself as a child, since his father was at work almost all day, so there had never been any major problems.
And as kids, they took advantage of it and he and a couple of other friends gathered to play and watch movies all night long. But for a couple of years, their movie nights had turned into big parties.
But this year the situation was different. There was Jenna, and there was Liam.
"Um .. I don't know, actually ... I think my dad will stay at home this year. Maybe we should find another place ...?" Actually Theo had heard Paul and Jenna talk about a romantic weekend somewhere in Canada last week.
"I thought they were going out of town" Josh said confused.
"I don't think this year ... wait- 'they' who ?" Theo asked, looking at him suddenly baffled.
Josh looked at him like he was stupid. "Your dad and his fiancee" he answered, arching his eyebrows with a wily little smile
Theo's eyes widened, turning to look at him so quickly that he probably sprained something. He grabbed him by the shoulder pushing him into a corner between the lockers and the wall. "You know it? " He whispered shocked
"Of course I know it, you idiot." Josh rolled his eyes. "Your father sent us the wedding invitations a century ago. By the way-" He wrinkled his eyebrows at him, pretending to be deeply offended "-when were you planning on telling me?"
"I-"
"Maybe your best friend deserved to know that you live with the guy you have a massive crush on since you were ten" Josh said quietly, as he was talking about the weather.
Theo was about to have a heart attack. A crush, he, on Liam Dunbar?
He tightened his grip on Josh's shoulder before giving him a push. "What the fuck, Josh?"
Josh rolled his eyes again. "You and your obliviousness"
"Listen to me, asshole , I don't have ..." He blushed slightly, the words that got stuck in his throat. He lowered his voice by several decibels. "I don't have a crush on Liam. I didn't have it when I was a kid and I definitely don't have it now." He let out a snort. That... that was ridiculous. "Where is this bullshit coming from? And how the hell do you know that I live with him?"
"On the invitations is written the name, you know" Josh reminded him deadpan. "And my mum met his mother, who told her that they will go to the mountains for Christmas" Josh laughed shaking his head. "You are such an idiot, how long were you thinking you could hide it? Theo, nobody cares." He shrugged carelessly. "And anyway, you can't stop people from tattling." Theo bit the inside of his cheek, his lips clenched, while he looked away from Josh. "Buuuut, all this brings us back to the fact that your house is free and so ... party's on!!"
"Josh, no - maybe it's better just leave it." Theo sighed, raising a hand to pull back his hair, defeated. "With everything that’s going on, I don’t think we should... Let's find somewhere else-"
"Hmm, I think it's a little late for that" Josh muttered looking at him with a guilty grimace.
"What do you mean?" Theo looked at him, panic rising slowly. His eyes widened. "What the fuck did you do?" He asked slowly, afraid to know.
"I may have already told someone."
"Well, untold them!" Theo snapped angrily.
"Theo!" Theo jumped when Liam, as soon as he appeared at the
end of the hallway, rushed towards him, his cell phone in his hand and
panting for the race.
Theo looked up and down the hallway, looking at him annoyed. "I told you not to talk to me at school" he whispered.
"Too late for that, don't you think?" Liam said ironically,
rolling his eyes. At Theo's confused expression, he turned the phone
toward him.
Theo grabbed it to read, then slowly raising his eyes to Josh, who seemed about to want to flee.
"Why is there an event on Facebook that invites the whole fucking school to the Christmas party at Theo Raeken and Liam Dunbar's house?"
"Um- look at the time, I think I'll go now, yeah-" Josh pretended indifference
"Josh !" Theo almost growled, punching him on the shoulder.
"I thought no one should know" Liam said amused, crossing his arms.
"It wasn't me!" Josh hastened to exclaim. Theo glared at him. Josh sighed. "Okay, I- I might have told Boyd, who told Isaac, who told Erika ..."
"... who told to the whole school" Liam completed quietly, nodding in agreement
"Liam, shut up"
"Okay" Josh raised his hands, conciliatory. "I know you didn't want people to know about it, for some unknown reason..- I'm sorry, but they would have found it out anyway, right? I mean, the wedding is in seven months." Theo continued to scowl at him, a frowning expression on his face. "And look, here's the great part!" Josh's smile widened.
"And what would it that be?" Theo snorted in annoyance.
"We can have the party!" the other boy exclaimed raising his hands in an exultation.
Theo was about to punch him. But Liam stopped him. "We will seriously have a party while our parents are not there? This is so cliche." He rolled his eyes, with a little smile on his lips
"Hey, first of all, it's my party" Theo made it clear, pointing the finger on himself "Not yours"
"I remind you that I live there too" Liam protested, raising an eyebrow.
Josh followed their playful banter with a grin.
"Only for three weeks, there's no comparison"
"Time doesn't count, since I could always rat you out" Liam said petulantly.
"You wouldn't dare" Josh and Theo whispered shocked in chorus.
Liam crossed his arms defiantly.
"Okay" Theo muttered with a annoyed snort. Liam would have rejoiced mentally if Theo wasn't suddenly looking at him, with a grin spreading across his face.
Liam looked at him uncertainly. "What is it?" he asked, now scared
"Oh nothing, I was thinking about when you will help me clean up the house after our party"
Liam gasped, while Theo walks away laughing with Josh "Uh, I hate him" Liam muttered between his teeth.
"By the way," Theo turned around, walking backwards "Synthetic."
Liam looked at him for a moment in confusion, then remembered the text. "You kidding? Who prefers a synthetic tree?"
"Someone who does not want to clean up also the mess that a real tree makes!" He shouted as he moved away with Josh.
Liam shook his head smiling "Idiot"
*
Although Theo had eagerly denied - and kept doing it repeatedly in his head for days - to have even the slightest interest in Liam, he could not deny, since Josh had pointed that out, that he had noticed how often his eyes lingered on the shorter boy. How his eyes found him almost right away as soon as he set foot in a crowded room, how his lips tilted instinctively into a smile when he saw Liam laugh, how he was particularly careful every time Liam talked to him about anything, even the most boring in the world, how his skin tingled when their hands touched by chance when setting down at dinner they passed each other the plates, how he had the need to show off whenever he saw Liam sitting on the stands at the lacrosse field, how his stomach contracted unpleasantly when he saw Liam talking happily with Hayden or even with Mason, aware that he could never ask for more than the polite tolerance that bonded them right now, because Liam would never have considered him more than an unwanted half-brother he necessarily had to get along with. Not just because of everything he had put him through in the past, but because for Liam his mother's happiness and serenity was obviously a priority, and he would never have let anything upset that new-born family. Especially not him.
It makes no sense to chase someone I can't have, someone I shouldn't even want, someone I don't deserve. He had to stop this strong attraction he felt for the other boy before it was too late, before it became something more. It was what Theo had been repeating for days - perhaps even weeks - he repeated it at home, he repeated it at school, and he repeated it especially now, as he thrusted deep inside the girl beneath him, while Tracy girded his shoulders, scratching his skin and weakly moaning his name. While he kept his lips sealed, so as not to risk saying the wrong name, and his eyes closed, so as not to see that the eyes in front of his were not those deep blue pools that had always attracted him like moths to the light.
And when he collapsed on Tracy, exhausted, Theo thought he had never felt so empty, so dirty and unfulfilled as at that time.
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