"I'm surprised you chose a synthetic tree, honey" his mother commented skeptical, as she and Liam had begun to decorate the big christmas tree that now adorned their living room.
Liam shrugged "Someone pointed out to me that it would be more practical" he just said with a half smile. Jenna snorted in amusement, shaking her head fondly as she bent down to get more decorations from the big box at her feet.
Liam looked at the clock on the wall behind him, before returning to the tree. He had hoped they could decorate the tree all together as a real family. He knew that Paul worked late, but he counted on that at least Theo would join them after his lacrosse practice. Instead the practice had been over for over two hours and still no sign of him. Probably he was with Josh, or with Tracy, if they still saw each other after the last time she left, slamming the door behind her back. Liam had not yet figured out what kind of relationship they had. Not that he cared, sure, as long as he didn't have to witness gross scenes anymore.
He shook his head eagerly to get rid of that thought, and reached out to hang a ball on the tree. His mother looked up at him. She studied him carefully, before opening her mouth, as if undecided whether to speak or not. Eventually she opted to do it, because she called him "Hey Li"
Liam turned to her, frowning at her strangely and suddenly tense tone. "What?" He asked.
His mother focused on the decorations as she replied "I ... I talked to Melissa yesterday"
Liam's heart skipped a beat, his body tensed painfully as he held the ball in his hand as if it were the anchor that prevented him to get carried away. He took a shuddering breath "Any news?" He asked, reaching out tentatively to hang the decoration.
Jenna shook her head "There are still no improvements" They fell silent for a few seconds, before Jenna decided to speak again. "Honey, I know it's... it's hard for you, but ... maybe you should-"
"No" Liam shouted, his voice full of anguish, and maybe a little too loud.
Theo who had crossed the front door right at that moment, heard Liam's loud voice, and he moved slowly towards the living room with a confused expression.
"I - I can't , Mom. I can't do it" Liam said almost desperately.
"You shouldn't take all the guilt on yourself in this way, Li, it's not-"
"But it is, Mom, it was all my fault!" Liam sighed in distress, before placing the ball still in his hand on the table. "Sorry, I'm going to my room, I'll end up my part later."
Theo winced when he heard Liam's footsteps approaching, but
he wasn't fast enough. When Liam crossed the threshold, he found Theo
right in front of him, and managed to stop just a few centimeters from
him, avoiding hitting him.
Theo instinctively took a step back, seeing Liam's shocked look. "Were you eavesdropping?" Liam asked in an incredulous hiss.
"No- no! I ... I just got here..." Theo protested, shaking his head, before stopping to look at him carefully. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, forget it" he just said before he ran up the stairs.
It was enough for Theo to look at the pained expression on Jenna's face to understand that whatever it was, it was something big. He didn't know what it was, but probably that was about that famous incident that happened at Devenford Prep that she had mentioned to him weeks ago, and for which apparently Liam was - or considered himself - responsible.
Theo sighed and took courage. Letting drop his backpack and
the lacrosse bag at the bottom of the stairs, he climbed quickly, then
headed for Liam's room instead of his. He looked at the door for a
moment unsure, before knocking twice.
Liam didn't speak for several seconds, but Theo knocked again, not giving up. He heard Liam sigh heavily. "I don't want to talk, mom" he said then, his voice muffled, probably because he was keeping his face against the pillow.
Theo snorted "It's me" he said quietly. Not that this should encourage Liam to open the damn door, because probably the last person he wanted to talk to now was him.
Liam turned his head towards the door, confused. "What do you want?" He asked weakly.
"I don't know" Theo answered honestly. He called mentally himself a idiot. "I- just-" he sighed "I don't know"
Liam snorted, a half smile that tilted his lips. "You have a real way with words." he muttered. "Come on in"
Theo's lips tilted in a relieved smile, opening the door, the moment Liam sat up on the bed. Theo's heart skipped a beat, stopping at the door. He was prepared to find a distraught Liam, perhaps with watery eyes, perhaps nervous, and certainly not willing to confide in him, and actually he was like this, but he certainly wasn't prepared to find him sitting on his big bed without his shirt, wet hair on the front, his face still dripping. Theo's gaze lingered on the shirt thrown on the ground further. Theo could almost imagine it, Liam rushing into the room, taking off his shirt with anger, throwing it away, then running to the bathroom throwing water over his face to calm himself. Theo's eyes returned to him, just as with a sigh Liam pulled back the hair that had stuck to his forehead, droplets that spurted away, some that slid down his neck and bare chest. Theo followed one with his gaze, and swallowed.
Then he mentally shook himself. This is not the time for this, Theo. You're here to be a good brother. He told himself as he walked to the bed, sitting cautiously beside Liam. You're here to be a moral support, not to fuck him with your eyes. We'll think about your stupid little crush later.
"Are you here to comfort me?" Liam asked skeptically, looking at him sideways.
"I don't know, it depends" Theo replied, shrugging.
"It depends on what?" Liam snorted amused.
"It depends on what you want" the other said simply. "We can talk about what upset you, if that's what you need."
Liam looked at him hesitantly, his eyes big, almost struck. "Oor?" He urged him tentatively.
"Or we can go back downstairs, and finish decorating our wonderful synthetic tree, for which I will never thank you enough."
Liam laughed slightly, bowing his head, a faint blush on his face. Theo didn't look away from his face, and sighed. "Look" he added serious. "Your mother told me that something happened in your old school." Theo saw Liam startle, and hastened to continue. "But she told me that it was up to you to decide whether to tell me or not, so ... I know that I am certainly not your best friend, but if you are looking for someone who can understand how it feels to do something that you regret or feel guilty about, then maybe I'm the right person."
Liam looked at him , his heart picking up at Theo's words, a slightly veiled allusion referring to him hidden in them, before lowering his eyes to the floor again.
It wasn't that he didn't want to talk to Theo, in fact he never talked about it with anyone. He changed the subject when his mother mentioned it, he had dodged the subject with Mason, and anyone who asked him why he had changed schools. It was a month that he ignored Stiles's calls to not think about it, as if it was enough to keep the thought away to erase the memory and the weight he carried. No, he wasn't ready to talk about it yet. He knew he was a coward. He knew it was wrong, but he couldn't help himself.
Theo seemed to notice his hesitation, because he gave him a playful push on his shoulder to get his attention. Liam's eyes snapped over him. "You don't have to do it now if you don't want to. But whenever you want, I'll be here." Theo shrugged simply.
Liam nodded, a relieved smile that tilted his lips. "Thanks" he muttered almost stunned. This caring side of Theo was somehow unexpected. Then Theo clapped his hands on his own knees, standing up. "Come on, let's go decorate this tree. I need help, I never did it in all my life!"
Liam looked at him bewildered " What ?! You can't be serious"
Theo muttered in agreement "Usually I spent Christmas alone or with my grandparents, so-"
"God, we have to catch up then" Liam exclaimed standing up too.
"Good. But maybe ..." Theo's gaze lingered again on his bare
chest, biting his bottom lip. "... Do you want- put something on you
before you go down?" He suggested, with a grin that he hoped hid his
longing.
Liam blushed as he realized only at that time that he was not wearing a shirt. "Uhm-yes, r-right"
Liam reached the shirt he had pulled away, and slipped in it with a fluid gesture. Theo tried not to look at his muscles that were tensing at the movement. Needless to say, it failed miserably. When Liam's head popped out of the collar of his shirt, he quickly looked away so as not to be caught staring.
"Shall we go?" Liam asked tentatively.
Theo nodded. "Lead the way" he told him, stepping aside to let him pass with a wave of his arm.
Jenna seemed relieved to see Liam get down quieter with Theo. While the two were focused on the tree, Liam began to instruct Theo on the art of decorating a Christmas tree, showing him which balls were to be placed underneath and which ones above, where the larger ones and where the smaller ones, while Jenna disappeared in the kitchen, then returning with large eggnog cups for everyone. So it was that Paul found them when he returned home from work, all three of them around the now-finished Christmas tree, the cups in his hand and a smile on their face, while casual chatter went on placidly.
While he joined them cheerfully, Theo could not help but
think that although theirs was certainly not a conventional family, it
tasted like home in some way. And maybe he, like Liam, wanted, longed, needed that happiness, that stability ... and he would protect it.
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